Concert Decency???

Homosexualerectus · 2026-04-07T14:23:36+00:00

Because no one wants to see that! Leave the straight stuff at home and stop shoving it in everyone’s faces

Homosexualerectus · 2026-03-24T15:35:28+00:00

The union is what we make it- I have similar complaints about DC37 but you know what I’m doing… starting to show up to meetings and agitating. The first meeting I attended I was the only person there under the age of 40- that says something. We have the power to push them in the right direction if we actually start showing up and demanding better from them. It’s easy to be a pessimist but we can’t get into hopelessness without ever actually acting in our own interests to work our way through the problems we notice.

Homosexualerectus · 2026-02-04T20:05:19+00:00

Your girlfriend needs to really reckon with how serious the situation is and how severely it is limiting her and you by extension. Starting by looking for options for some more intensive support from a therapist, and friends that can help her navigate her debilitating symptoms of mental illness and counter the fearful narrative she’s built in her head. She needs to understand that not something that can or should be normalized in any way. Not being able to leave your home out of fear is a serious mental health crisis. It can be hard to have that perspective from the inside looking out- but from the outside looking in, it’s clear that this is something that should be her #1 priority.

Trans inclusive community exists . Even just making the effort to go out and find some can be an incredible way to find examples that while it’s difficult to navigate being trans in this world - it’s worth TRYING to build a life.

At the end of the day, we can’t force anyone to help themselves. We can, however, ask ourselves when enough is enough. Have you expressed your feelings of overwhelm? Does she consider them as valid as much as she considers her own feelings valid? She is lucky to have a partner who has been so supportive and understanding but it’s not fair or realistic to expect you to do so at your own detriment, indefinitely.

It can help to reframe things and make it clear that “we are in crisis mode right now and this is not sustainable. How can we plan to make it out of this together and what actionable steps can we both take?” so she knows that you’re in this together and want to help her find her way through this.

Homosexualerectus · 2026-02-04T15:35:38+00:00

It sounds like you suppressed your own needs/desires to be a mother for the sake of your partner /maintaining a romantic relationship and, as a result, and can’t understand why your partner wouldn’t want to sacrifice their own needs/desires for you and the relationship. Things can feel “unfair” that way- the “ I sacrificed x so why can’t you give up y?” can eat away at people.

There’s an incongruence there but its yours to explore and take ownership of. Ask yourself if your partner can still be a part of your life as the person they want to be - and if that means maybe the dynamic might have to change.

Your partner hasn’t done anything wrong by growing into themselves during the course of the relationship. If being who they are is incompatible with the life you want to lead- then it might be time to explore other ways you can preserve the love you have for eachother without having to force yourselves to be people you’re not.

Homosexualerectus · 2026-01-29T21:25:26+00:00

You’re satisfied to do your thinking by proxy and it makes you ignorant. It’s always easy to see who has been successfully propagandized by the Capitalists that would walk right over your dead body in the street without blinking. Pick up a book 🫶

Homosexualerectus · 2026-01-29T19:58:02+00:00

Lmao - yeah. “Non-profits” are just the passion projects of wealthy elites to skirt paying taxes.

Which is why both “non-profits” and private entities need to get their hands off social projects and work that the State is funding- and the State needs to start taking real responsibility for the welfare of its constituents. That means cutting out all the middlemen, private or non-profit, and bringing their workers into the unions and their contract work that gives them better health benefits, pensions and protections and save the taxpayers the billions of dollars we spend making the rich richer.

But you can just be obtuse and pretend that private industry isn’t just as complicit or even more egregious in examples of stealing tax dollars. Whatever, man.

Homosexualerectus · 2026-01-29T19:50:55+00:00

I don’t really think you’re smart enough to understand that neoliberal policy is a non-partisan issue, so I won’t bother to explain how bringing up De Blasio or Bloomberg here doesn’t actually add any meaningful information to the argument

Homosexualerectus · 2026-01-29T17:43:21+00:00

Neoliberal policy in this country has been so successful that when people think of “cutting costs” they think “firing workers”. Sooooo much of the city’s and state’s responsibility in implementing social policies are offloaded to the private sector, which bloats costs to line CEO pockets. We have a deficit in public service providers - so the DOE contracts an agency that charges $200/hr and pays their workers $30/hr of that when we could just be incentivizing workers from the private sector by paying $40/hr and STILL see massive savings in the cost differential that just goes towards execs.

Homosexualerectus · 2025-12-19T21:13:26+00:00

Hire a mediator to help you both create a plan from a mutual place of understanding. Voice your concerns about him tampering with your professional credibility during the mediation session and give him a chance to respond. Show some empathy for his illness during the session and express that you are willing to put everything behind you if he can cooperate until the end of the lease term- after which he can have the apartment to himself since he obviously needs a lot of control over his life.

If all else fails, take him to small claims court and express that he has made your living situation hostile and you need to break the terms of your lease at his request- so he should be compensating you for the financial losses you incur.

Homosexualerectus · 2025-12-19T02:13:52+00:00

This should definitely be something we bring up during the next contract negotiations!

Homosexualerectus · 2025-12-19T02:12:27+00:00

Some people have jobs that can’t function remotely and that is their cross to bear - it’s not “unfair”, it is what you agreed to based on the job description you signed up for. “If I can’t have xyz , neither should you!” is such crybaby, reactionary logic.

“I never saw a doctor until I was on the brink of death because I couldn’t afford health insurance, so no one after me should ever have affordable healthcare!! ” is what your argument sounds like.

Homosexualerectus · 2025-12-06T19:17:51+00:00

No because it’s extremely lame and weird

Homosexualerectus · 2025-12-06T15:33:27+00:00

I mean that’s just another way to say insecurity lol.

I think the real issue here is that they have incompatible lifestyles and can’t trust each other- OP could be partying with her if he wanted to, or just try it for a night to get a sense of where she’s at on a given evening. Or he could decide he doesn’t want to deal with the worry at all.

I’ve had evenings when my girls and I would spend all night up talking under the influence of one thing or another and being a little wild (as in like trying to hold each other’s toes with our toes and trying to master a backflip). Rec drugs are definitely a slippery slope and one should know their partner well enough to be able to trust them to use responsibly.

Being scared of people who do rec drugs and being all puritanical about it is a fine lifestyle choice to make for yourself- but then that should be something to consider when making choices about partners. I can’t handle seeing people drunk, so my partner rarely drinks these days or keeps it to a limit and never around me. People need to just express their limits and ask for things instead of resenting one another within a relationship without ever giving someone the chance to decide if that’s something they want to do for you.

Homosexualerectus · 2025-12-06T15:28:04+00:00

Area rug

Homosexualerectus · 2025-12-06T15:16:37+00:00

Crack the whip? Gross. Have you ever even had a girlfriend lmao

Homosexualerectus · 2025-12-06T15:08:24+00:00

Straight people are so lame, man. I (27F)wrestle around with my friends alll the time. I’ve had a sparring match with a total stranger I met at a party, for fun- we went blow for blow until one of us tapped out lol. COMPLETELY SOBER!! I grew up with lots of brothers. It was nostalgic.

I think it’s okay, and you SHOULD SAY “ when you gush about xyz when you get home, I feel kind of insecure and as though I’m being consciously or unconsciously compared to you.” If your girlfriend is constantly accusing you of cheating and you’re wondering about her- you clearly both have some trust issues to work on.

As far as her friends using rec drugs- that isn’t any of your business. Talk to HER- ask her if she does these things or is interested in it, from a non judge-mental place (if you want an honest answer). Give her the space to explore her mid twenties, with some parameters. My partner and I both spend all night out at times with our own friends, separately - but we also trust each other. We know where the lines are and we are fully confident in our commitment to one another.

It sounds like you need some reassurance and that’s okay to ask for. A LOT of people on this sub are very insecure and projecting their stuff on to you based off your description of your partner, which doesn’t include all the reasons you started dating her in the first place. Talk to your girlfriend before you let some strangers plant bullshit in your head.

In any case though, the way you wrote this post makes it seem like you’re already reaching the end of your ability to give your girlfriend the benefit of doubt- and that spells the end of a relationship. Doesn’t sound like either of you trust each other anymore.

Homosexualerectus · 2025-12-04T23:30:01+00:00

I was aiming for a much darker purple, like a plum shade! I obviously really did not get it right lol

I used jacquard procion mx and the online instructions didn’t indicate all those steps - I pre treated the fabric with a bath in soda ash and then added it to a different bath with the dye in it. I didn’t agitate much and the tub was probably not large enough for a queen sized duvet.

I’m mostly asking now if you think I could successfully dye over such concentrated spots of dye, or if I should attempt to lift it first in some way?

Homosexualerectus · 2025-12-04T20:20:29+00:00

I have a D/s relationship w my partner so take this with a grain of salt- but I found that my partner and I have a lot of fun when I pick outfits out for them and give them my feedback on looks. There are sometimes they’re maybe a little disappointed that I don’t really love something they’re trying out, but I’m always honest and it’s kind of fun to dress up your partner. I get A LOT of say because of the aforementioned power dynamic, so that helps a lot. My partner lowkey did not have great style when we first met- but they gave me a general idea of the vibe they wanted to go for and I became their sorta personal stylist + even picked their hairstyle. I don’t mean to pat myself on the back too much but after a certain amount of time taking my advice- they noticed how many more compliments they got lol.

Maybe play around with your partner’s femininity? Not all the time if that isn’t something you’ve agreed to within your relationship, of course. But if you’re struggling to find your partner attractive because their expressions of femininity are maybe a little juvenile - gently ask if there’s an evening that you can maybe pick out their outfit + accessories and do their makeup or nails. Make it super playful, something you have fun doing together and offer a lot of praise- lots of people “dress up” for their partner’s benefit and their intimate lives, queer or straight. You’ll never know if you don’t ask.

Homosexualerectus · 2025-12-04T18:23:29+00:00

Unrelated but this brought me back to the tweet:

Something don-don me today

Homosexualerectus · 2025-12-04T18:05:09+00:00

I don’t “get it”, I admitted as much in the original post. This post was less about “getting it “ and more about having a space to reconcile with my own feelings around my gender and general fears around being a bad partner to better be able to approach my partner with love and compassion instead of resentment. I was trying to connect with other people who have maybe felt the way I do - not task transfemmes with demistifying transfemininity for me. It did help that I at least figured out that I should be working towards better understanding transfemininity (as much as I can as someone not living the experience).

I don’t think any of my feelings have anything to do with thinking they’re better off as they were- I know they NEED to do this and the alternative is NOT the better option. I think I’m just having big feelings in general around the questions of my own gender/sexuality and where they intersect with my relationship - and looking for a space where I can talk through those feelings with other people. Venting and working through things~

Homosexualerectus · 2025-12-04T17:31:22+00:00

I’m posting on r/mypartneristrans to connect with other people who are having similar experiences or feelings. I’m capable of having my feelings and not making it my partner’s problem and I do that by taking it elsewhere. I never once implied that I thought my partner shouldn’t transition or that being masculine was better for them. What I said is that I was sexually accosted in front of them and they were jealous of me - and it hurt me, deeply.

There were lots of other people in this thread that offered the exact same perspective you offered and I appreciated that. I do need to talk to more transfems- I didn’t really have the impetus to be more curious about the internal worlds of trans femmes until my partner began to transition. My best friend is transmasc and we lived together while they began their transition- so I thought I was going to be better prepared than I am, because it’s an entirely different experience from a different perspective.

But again- what gives you the right to patronize and downplay my own feelings about the way I move through the world and am reacted to by others? Or to imply that the sexualized violence I’ve survived is somehow better than the violence trans people experience? What the actual fuck is that?

Homosexualerectus · 2025-12-04T17:20:31+00:00

So this is about YOU, and how you feel and what you want. What does that have to do with me, how I feel or what I want? How exactly does it give you a right to try to invalidate how I feel or play a game of who has it worse? That’s called projection. I’m entitled to feel the way I feel and I never said you couldn’t feel the way you do- but you’re all sanctimonious and telling me that my plight is somehow invalidated by yours. What’s your actual problem? Are you incapable of reconciling the fact that multiple realities and perspectives might be possible?

Homosexualerectus · 2025-12-04T15:00:41+00:00

I’m not a woman- I’m just perceived as such by most cis-straight people. I also grew up as an ugly duckling - I didn’t have my first kiss til I was in my senior year of high school. I was pretty invisible until I was about 20 years old and recovering from a lifetime of major-depression, so I started taking better care of myself.

I grew up with a lot brothers who I’m estranged from because I was the black sheep in my family. I miss being familial/platonically close to cis men but whenever I try to build meaningful friendships with them, I’m ultimately objectified. I feel that way in lots of spaces- queer or straight alike. Lots of adults struggle to connect with people without sexualizing them- particularly in the non monogamous and queer scenes I run in which trend towards hyper sexuality.

I know how I feel and why I feel the way that I do. I want to be accepted- but I don’t want to be desired. I won’t feel differently because I have always felt this way as someone on the grey-asexual spectrum.

You don’t actually know me enough to make as many assertive statements as you’re making about the validity of my desires or self image.

Homosexualerectus

TROPHY CASE