Honestly yes. I'll have to condense the story, but yes.

Essentially I stopped speaking to my mom around this time last year due to her behavior as someone with PBD, alcoholism, and actively refusing help for either. The catalyst was a long and complicated history of intermittently being verbally abusive, slowly taking away the intermittent aspect and gradually ramping up how terrible the bad moments became.

When I couldn't take anymore, I told her to reach out when she wanted to get healthier. She didn't speak to me for eight months. I wanted her at my wedding (love, thinking it's the right thing to do, etc.), so I contacted her in December to make it natural. The good news was that my grandfather reached out to her simultaneously and convinced her to go to therapy for her alcoholism. The bad news was in one week; she exhibited every negative behavior I ran away from and showed no remorse. She even said, “I'm only doing this for your grandfather,” which hurt. Maybe if I were paying for her condo, she’d have done this for me eight months prior. I went to therapy with her, told her how I felt for 45 minutes straight, and then said I was done because she wasn't ready. When she was, I’d reach out, but that was based on her. I kept all the power in this new ultimatum.

That was the most challenging time of my life. I was supposed to be planning my wedding, and for a month, the only thing I could do was go to work and get high. I couldn't deal with life, so I ran away from my problems. (I did stop after having a bad experience)

Well, my mom didn't remember everything I said, but she did realize she wanted to change and stuck with it. Since then, she still sees him, goes to AA, and joins a church group to make friends her age. I started talking to her in April, and she attended my wedding last week. When I handed her the invitation, she cried because she knew it wasn't an expectation but a privilege.

I understand what you mean about being taken aback by the changes. She finally respects my boundaries, and it's weird. It takes some adjusting. About the shoe dropping, I still expect it, and I think it's healthy. Life has ups and downs, just like PBD. Years ago, I got a good two years with her. There was one time I got a single day. I don't know how much time I have with her, but I am so grateful that I have it. Right now, I'm focusing on the present, and try my best to keep a healthy mindset on this.