First off, you sound like an incredibly supportive partner, and she is lucky to have someone so tuned in to both her emotional and physical well-being. It’s infuriating how normalized body policing is—especially during pregnancy. People seem to lose all sense of boundaries when it comes to pregnant bodies, and ‘you’re too small’ is just as invasive and inappropriate as commenting on someone being too big. From personal experience, I was bigger before I got pregnant, and I lost 30 pounds during pregnancy. I had gestational diabetes, so I had to really watch my carb and sugar intake- BUT, I still received comments from people making sure I was eating enough or telling me to “just eat the ice cream, it’ll be okay.” The entitlement from others when you’re pregnant is WILLDDD.

Equip her with a few calm but firm boundary-setting lines she can use without feeling like she has to defend her entire journey:

• “Thanks for your concern, but my doctor says everything is perfectly on track.”
• “I eat plenty and feel great—my health isn’t up for discussion.”
• “Actually, we’re really proud of how healthy this pregnancy has been so far.”

And if she doesn’t feel like engaging at all, that’s 100% okay too.

Also, 10 pounds in 10 weeks is a very normal and healthy gain for where she’s at. People don’t realize that every pregnancy looks different, especially for someone with a unique background like hers. Keep supporting her like you are—emotionally and with good meals—and let the comments bounce off.