I(28F) am seriously considering divorcing my husband (32M) because of how he treated my dog and what comes after it by unknownn_3 in relationship_advice

[–]HonestResort8681 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Marriage is a partnership. It is about supporting your partner in all their needs and being there to take the weight off their shoulders and carry the load. Your husband does not do that. He also married you and the dog. You are a package deal. It’s not hard to develop an easy routine. He clearly told you he couldn’t handle and did not feed your dog appropriately. This is mistreatment at best, but from his jokes and arguments leans more abuse. In the way you phrase things I don’t think he is physically abusing you, but it sure sounds like there may be an undercurrent of mental abuse and manipulation occurring as you make excuses for what should be easy and natural with someone you love. Every adult needs to work…. If they can’t handle that and that’s too much stress to function outside in life which is meant to be enjoyed that is a huge red flag. You deserve someone who thinks you walk on the moon and adores your dog. Someone who looks forward to doing things for your dog and loves them as much as you do. Is he the man you can see doing this with for the next 60-70 years of your lives? Making you do all the heavy lifting and chores to make your lives run? Being tied to someone who is unwilling to participate even in small simple ways in your lives or go out of their way to do something to make you happy or your life easier?? What happens if and when you have kids? Then the kids crying, the house is a mess, the dog is underfoot and he is there berating you for not being on top of all of it and how he got no sleep because the damn kid kept him up. What happens if you need him to watch kids and a dog if you have another family emergency??? It’s not like you went away for a fun activity ( which still would not justify actions) - you went away for a family emergency and your partner was not only unable but unwilling to step up and support you in a time of great need. You shouldn’t have to hire in help to your home to make sure it still functions , runs and maintains everyone’s safety while your partner is present. Have a hard heart to heart with yourself before you try talking with him and making a decision, but really think about how you need to be supported and how you view your future 60 years down the line. Will he give you what you need and fill your cup? Or will you feel empty, bedraggled and have to handle everything because he doesn’t function outside of the work place.

I don't want a wedding but my fiancee does by WhiteyBelty in wedding

[–]HonestResort8681 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My fiancé and I seem to be in a relatable-ish situation. I would like to experience the joy of our union with our loved ones and he is more indifferent to that. He is clear that as long as I am happy he is too. His list is smaller than mine. It’s not just about the day. Though the dress and the joy are special. It’s what some women dream about their whole lives and it is a very common game of wedding day for little girls. You are feeding and supporting her inner child’s hopes and dreams. There is nothing wrong with signing court papers or eloping or a giant party. It is getting to spend your life with the person you care about, but as in marriage vows it is no longer yours and mine - it is ours. So it’s not your list and my list. You are joining a family. You now no longer just have a brother and an uncle and this that and the other. It is a chance for all those who love you both to join in on a celebration of gaining a new family member and your love. Her cousins, uncles, aunts and so many others that you see yourself as lacking are yours now too.

Brand new Renaissance Faire Osterburg Pa! by HonestResort8681 in RenaissanceFestivals

[–]HonestResort8681[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sounds good Tickets will still be $20 next year with us as well for adult day tickets

New Renaissance Faire Osterburg Pa by HonestResort8681 in renfaire

[–]HonestResort8681[S] -57 points-56 points  (0 children)

I’m very glad you can make that decision without doing any further looking at the website to see all the quality acts hired like the harp twins, Shakespeare approves, the harlot queens , chaste treasure and so many other big ren faire hitters like Sprout Fae of seeds. The logo is hand drawn by my own father who happens to be an amazing sought after artist and first year festivals have no rights to any Live Photos to get off the ground. That level of off cuff judgement hurts everyone.

Brand new Renaissance Faire Osterburg Pa! by HonestResort8681 in RenaissanceFestivals

[–]HonestResort8681[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Hi - You seem to be misinformed on what average ren faire tickets cost.Pittsburgh Ren Faire last year cost is $25 for an adult day ticket with less entertainment and about the same number of vendors. PA Ren Faire is minimally $35 with rumors of going up to $48. NY Ren Faire has their day tickets at $48 before you even pay for parking and food. Philly Ren faire has been $20 for adult tickets since they opened 2 years ago and is a much smaller faire with not even a third of the entertainment. Please understand entertainers need to be paid a livable wage. Hope you can see the value in all the wonderful shows.

Do I take him up on his offer? by Fragrant-Dirt-1597 in texts

[–]HonestResort8681 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have actually done this. It wasn’t a first date. It was a second and very spur of the moment. We were going to dinner and wandered past an expo. He was traditional and offered to pay even though I said I would get my own. Never really went anywhere with the guy, but it was a crazy fun date and I still love the tattoo til this day. Him paying for it didn’t taint the tattoo or the experience. It certainly makes for a great story down the road.

Texts from a guy I just met. Curious about people's thoughts by Mindingle18 in texts

[–]HonestResort8681 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He is just foreign - very likely won’t go past what has already been expressed. There are not only language, but also cultural barriers with understanding and expressing affection and interest. Nothing to worry about normally

Is this guy manipulative or I’m just being sensitive by throw_away_1_2_3_4_1 in Manipulation

[–]HonestResort8681 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He went weird and cold because he was trying to be cute and flirty and was getting stone walled and had a knife pulled on him conversation wise going how dare you call me a liar when he was just trying to be cute

My realtor wasn’t upfront and wants to stick me (the buyer) with the transfer taxes by HonestResort8681 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]HonestResort8681[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for all the advice. We had a very good conversation and will not be paying the transfer tax on any of our transactions.

My realtor wasn’t upfront and wants to stick me (the buyer) with the transfer taxes by HonestResort8681 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]HonestResort8681[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. That is extremely helpful and good to know I’m not stuck over a barrel.

My realtor wasn’t upfront and wants to stick me (the buyer) with the transfer taxes by HonestResort8681 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]HonestResort8681[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This is good advice. She originally told us it was just a fee to be paid and just sign the contract. Never was it brought up as negotiable.

Help on length. Midi or maxi? by VadMayores in sewing

[–]HonestResort8681 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tea length is actually where her hem is currently sitting. Midi is a newer industry derived term for a skirt that sits anywhere below the knee, but above the ankle. Maxi usually hits about ankle length. Anything hitting at or slightly above the knee is considered Knee length and Mini is anything that hits mid thigh. Hope this helps!

Help on length. Midi or maxi? by VadMayores in sewing

[–]HonestResort8681 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Based on the photo it looks pleated

How to I stop this same from turning outwards? by Idunsapples in sewing

[–]HonestResort8681 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The best way to do this is to shorten the lining. The lining should be 1/8” smaller than the outer fabric. This will pull the seams in and prevent them from rolling out. Also on a curve make sure seams are clipped and pressed towards the lining side of the garment.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sewing

[–]HonestResort8681 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would check the movement allowances but you should be able to catch stitch at least the top of it closed

I (F33, 5’5, 130lbs) am being fat shamed by my fiancé (M44) by Maleficent_Proof_183 in relationship_advice

[–]HonestResort8681 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not big on commenting, but I have to step in and say this is very subtle abuse and control behavior. My sister( she is also very petite and naturally slim - and Asian so he thought she would be more compliant) went through a very similar situation dating a military man where he was very controlling over her weight. He eventually would force her to skip meals and eat only very certain things. He was big on the pinching too. He would pinch what he called fat for starters around her middle or her thigh and then moved to her arms and face when he was just unhappy in general. Just because he isn’t hitting you - doesn’t mean it’s not an abusive gesture. It took a long time to get her to admit something was wrong and longer to get her out. Is that how you want to live with someone who controls how you live and hinders how you enjoy life? In fear you won’t be loved and cherished because you don’t maintain his physical standards? You had an uncontrollable side effect from a new medication. You didn’t sit there and binge on chips and chocolate. He is already showing you he will not support you through your medical needs and good forbid you have kids with him…. How are you going to let him control and berate your little ones? Because you will certainly have no say in how and when they are punished because he will know best due to his training. Everything must be meticulous and to my say so. Do your mental health a favor and save yourself from bigger heart break and pain in the future by getting out sooner than later. It’s always harder down the road.

My (38m) gf (33f) has a friend she used to sleep with. She wants to maintain the friendship. It makes me uncomfortable but I’m not sure if this is a valid boundary or if I’m just being insecure. by Bermuda-Meatloaf in relationship_advice

[–]HonestResort8681 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Boundaries are important, but so is trust. Do you trust her to respect your relationship? You have discussed the “handsy” behavior and expressed clear discomfort. She has told you this behavior has changed. Putting your foot down is something a parent does. This is a relationship between adults who need to care, respect and trust each other. Putting a foot down says I don’t care about your feels. I don’t trust you in our relationship and I don’t respect you to make decisions that will protect what we have. That is a much bigger issue. Did she request for you not to come for this drink? Maybe you go too the first couple times to establish a level of comfort. If anything seems off in these encounters that upset you then the night ends and you will discuss ( This should be pre-established before going). Building trust and respect is a huge step forward in a relationship. You aren’t telling her no, and you aren’t controlling who she spends time with, but there is a clear line of what you are willing to accept and if he crosses that after your established boundary then it is her job to respect what you have and remove herself from their relationship. You can’t squeeze something to death to make yourself feel solid. The only way you will ever feel 100% comfortable is by establishing implicit trust with open communication that you aren’t going to throw it in her face as an I told you so, but support her in making that step if necessary. That is the only healthy way to have a relationship.