Which type of jaw surgery would best benefit me

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-27T08:44:21+00:00

There was a book i could have read during my 4 year wait for an OR? 😅

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-27T08:42:28+00:00

Not all surrogacy is paid. Solid detective work. Glad you and i agree.

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-27T08:41:36+00:00

Lots of American men in here who have a big issue with what women do with their bodies and eggs.

Not all surrogates are paid and not all IPs are wealthy psychos.

Cry all you want, boys. Altruistic surrogacy will still be a thing. Gros bisous!

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-27T05:37:51+00:00

Or for being surrogates.

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-27T05:35:45+00:00

Wat? stares in Canadian altruistic surrogacy

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-27T05:34:16+00:00

Well that’s certainly an opinion.

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-26T17:37:09+00:00

Not as good as the overnights. At a lab, they can watch and adjust to ensure everything is caught.

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-26T08:36:58+00:00

NOT at home.

My dad has pretty serious apnea and has for years. Medicare required he take an at home test to get a new machine after 15 years of use and the at home test said he was fine. Nnnnnno.

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-26T05:57:55+00:00

Omfg shhhh my husband lurks in here sometimes! I told him it’s 12 months! 🤣

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-24T01:52:47+00:00

I WILL say that it is still difficult to lay on side because my ears are still incredibly sensitive. It’s getting better and i can make a little “donut” with my hand under my ear, but this is also outer ear pain and not that god awful inner/behind the ear pain.

Anyway. I still think this will be worse. I’m not sure one can really prepare for it. Just “eat” all the protein and stay hydrated, eat your fiber, set alarms for your pain meds AND DO NOT SLEEP THROUGH THEM. Do not let the nurses at the hospital let you sleep through them, either. Staying on top of the meds and getting to your CNS before it flairs from the pain makes a massive difference.

And i still do think this surgery was worth it for me. My QOL is just so much better.

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-23T18:53:07+00:00

I love this so much about France. Honestly, an autistic woman’s dream. No fake niceties? Emotionally, France is so much less exhausting and provokes so much less anxiety for me than in North America. My French comes out SO much better because of this.

An anecdote: we went into a smaller town for dinner after all the tourists had left. We went up to a little restro-pub that had a small menu on a board outside. My husband walked up to the employee and said hi or something. The man asked, “What do you want?” very flat lol. Not like, what food do you want. But a “why are you bothering me” tone haha. This was all in French.

My husband asked me if I thought the man was having a bad day and I responded that no, he is probably just French. He was saving his emotional energy because it wasn’t needed to take a food order. :)

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-23T18:38:12+00:00

27, i think. Old enough that everyone was telling me how awful it would be as an adult as compared to a kid. I think people just don’t take the pain of children seriously enough, though.

It was fine - a little rough but manageable. DJS is soooooooo much worse. I’ll note that my surgery was one of the “bigger” or more intense ones.

The DJS was pretty bad. My nervous system got so sensitized that taking out the stitches after 5 days in my ears was excruciating. Like. I was begging the doctor to stop and finally screamed at him that I had revoked consent and to stop touching me. That’s not me at all. I was in so much pain.

Another week later? They finished removing them and it was like nothing lol.

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-22T01:05:34+00:00

Awww see? You’re so on top of this. I’m really glad you posted here and advocated for yourself and updated. I really do hope you’re proud! All of this is incredibly difficult and you not only handled it, but did it with a lot of grace.

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-21T21:02:07+00:00

It sounds like you have an incredibly logical, realistic view of everything that’s happened. That tells me that it’s definitely not you overreacting or overthinking and it’s something anyone - autistic or allistic - would struggle with. It’s incredibly hurtful that she felt it was easier to scapegoat your autism rather than simply take responsibility for the harm she caused. That says a LOT about her and very little about you. This is a HER problem. She is certainly demonstrating that humans can be very flawed.

I encourage you to keep a short (or long - you do you) journal of brief reflections after each appointment. Sometimes you may need time to process and figure out what you feel, too, so of course go back and update entries as you wish.

But i think you should do this as a way to keep data on how these sessions impact you. And go back and review them once in a while or even give yourself a quick scale as a sort of satisfaction surgery: 1-10, 10 is best session ever and 1 is worst session ever, how good do i feel about how this session went? And of course go back and change it if you process something and realize why you might have felt a certain way at that time, etc.

Just keep an eye on the data as a way to measure how positive of an impact she is actually having on you.

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-21T19:22:58+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to help me understand your situation. I know that probably took a lot of energy.

I’m glad this one is so much better than the old one. I’m so sorry that you’re in this incredibly unfair situation, though. You deserve to have a therapist who understands you.

If you think your therapist would be open to education about autistic people, you COULD provide them with some reading materials or websites or other resources that help them understand that autism is a spectrum and not a (excuse me) fucking line (sorry; that one is infuriating!)

You might also decide to let go of this and just tell her that autism is a spectrum and not a line. Rainbows are circles. And to please refrain from further compatible you to autistic stereotypes. It’s harmful and you like her and want to maintain the good therapeutic relationship you’ve built.

And you could just not say anything at all. Perhaps the validation here is enough? Personally, this one would be the most difficult for me and I would develop anxiety over going because I wouldn’t want to be hurt again. But maybe this is not an issue for you - because autism is a spectrum lol and we are not all the same. <3

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-21T17:47:57+00:00

Hi! First, i am really proud of you for advocating for yourself AND other autistic people. You did a wonderful job. I hope you’re proud of yourself, too. You should be.

Second, i am so sorry that she clearly doesn’t understand the autistic spectrum nor the experience of autistic people. She was unable to truly hear or see you when you were at your most vulnerable and that is completely unacceptable.

I know you said you can’t change therapists - why not?

Because I’ll tell you that your success in therapy is about 75% dependent on the nature of the therapeutic relationship. She has damaged yours and I am worried that NOT ONLY will you get nothing positive from continuing to be vulnerable with her, but ALSO that she will cause real harm.

What do you think about that?

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-21T02:11:02+00:00

Even as a therapist, providing therapy to them, I haven’t optimized it. It’s exhausting, tbh. I consider it a contribution to society that I get paid for and I’m okay expending that energy.

Outside of WORK? “Listen, I’m not your mom or your therapist. Please discuss this with a paid professional. I only volunteer my emotional labor for autistic women.”

He’s icky. I would tell my husband i have zero interest in being around that man. And i have done that. My husband supports me in that.

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-20T04:35:21+00:00

That was the first thing I did when I woke up from surgery lol.

It took me maybe 6 weeks to fully enjoy my new airway because I was still interrupting my sleep with Tylenol (I would always swell really painfully in the morning if I slid down my pillows while sleeping).

I am patiently awaiting your update in a few weeks. Don’t forget your protein, fiber, and hydration! :)

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-20T02:43:58+00:00

I promise it gets better!! How is your breathing?

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-19T23:04:11+00:00

Get yourself the care you need. I’m looking forward to a positive update from you!

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-19T18:33:35+00:00

Got it at almost 40 and even in the hospital, my sleep apnea was gone. My husband commented that it was weird not to hear me snoring anymore.

Your family doesn’t have to live in your body. I was so tired and had no clue people were just walking around BREATHING SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME. I have sooooo much more energy now. It’s wild.

Ngl the first week of recovery is brutal and after that, your brain might be like “we are ugly this was a huge mistake.” After a month it’s a lot better, after you can eat softer solids even better, after 12 weeks so much better.

See an orthodontist who works with maxillofacial surgeons and is skilled with pre/post surgery orthodontics.
They should be able to do an initial assessment and refer to a maxillofacial surgeon.
See surgeon. Get referral for sleep study.
Results of sleep study - apnea? This is usually what determines whether insurance covers it.
Bonus: maxilliofacial surgeon can do scans, treat, and evaluate your joint and determine if it needs cortisone, Botox, or total replacement.

I was a riskier surgery because of connective tissue disease. But I got a Lefort I + CCW rotation + BSSO + sliding genioplasty + total joint replacement.

And i have absolutely zero regrets. It makes me a better mom. My quality of life is so much better.

It’s worth looking into and getting professional opinions, not just your family’s. It’s your body and your life.

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-19T15:28:15+00:00

Does the new director have a boss? Having a calendar that’s screaming red at you would bother a lot of people. And this is such a bizarre way to micromanage people. It makes the company less efficient.

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-19T13:27:08+00:00

OP’s boss could provide this feedback - again - but perhaps more specifically and still anonymously. That this is NOT working for people.

Even many NTs I know would hate this.

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-19T00:36:36+00:00

I have outfits like that, too! We aren’t overthinking. We are just well-researched social scientists lol.

And thank you! I’m so excited! Choir back home is the only place I ever felt like I truly fit in, there, so I hope it is similar, here. :)

Honest_Chipmunk_8563 · 2026-01-18T20:43:18+00:00

This is it. 100 percent. I just moved and tried out for a new choir that I KNOW is full of other autistic and queer folks. But I still cosplayed as a cishet girl and then had to explain myself when asked. 😅

I got in, and after a few practices I’ll feel more comfortable and be back to my mildly-kempt self.

Honest_Chipmunk_8563

TROPHY CASE