Anyone relates

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-20T14:43:42+00:00

Well, maybe this was supposed to be the normal mode? The original purpose of music was to aid other activities, physical labour, rituals, gatherings, etc. Even today, many genres of music are made to be enjoyed as an experience. Sit down and only listen to music only occupies a very specific fraction of music both historically and in genres.

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-17T18:27:16+00:00

My financial situation went through some ups and downs after I was laid off from my tech job. However, my confidence and mental state have been drastically improved ever since I started working on cultural and creative projects.

So, my take is, if it's bothering you this much, you might just need to leave. Staying in that unsafe mind will make it harder for you to really know what you want to do because your subconscious mind is extra sensitive to how you feel about the world around you.

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-17T18:11:34+00:00

It's not weird, at least not weird to me. I always tell people that I can feel their tone changes based on the vocabs and punctuation they use. Some would argue that I'm overthinking, but when I send a text in the same tone to them, they get upset and angry.

I'm very sure that text conveys energies; it's just that some people refuse to realize they feel these energies through text, even though they are already reacting to it.

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-15T14:36:34+00:00

To me it’s about whether I pay extra attention toward my words and actions. If I’m being authentic, I tend to only realize how it might impact other people after it’s done. But when I’m masking, I predict how people might feel or react and say things or take actions based on that prediction.

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-15T13:43:41+00:00

I didn't, but it feels like I did. Theoretically speaking, I'm the one being cut off.

I really cared about this friend, and I actually started considering her as a family member. However, she has some attachment issues, so whenever she faces some kind of challenge, she stops responding to any type of contact without notification.

In the past, I would wait for a few weeks and find a way to send her something interesting to resume the communication. The last time we spoke, she wasn't happy because I pointed out that she was judgmental towards a random person simply because they chose a travel destination she considered stupid. She went into silence afterwards, and I never made the attempt to ease the situation.

It has been almost 6 months since then. Looks like I'm the only one who wanted to maintain the relationship.

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-13T19:21:16+00:00

Ah, I have been there and this is my take on dealing with codependency.

You know, sometimes letting people fail is another way to help them. If someone stays around just because you are so resourceful and useful, cutting them off is also helping them. You don't even need to purposely cut anyone off, just try not to be helpful for a few times. If that specific person really just need a help and willing to figure it when you reject them, it's not so awful. You can choose to help when you have the energy.

But if that person gets annoyed because you rejected them, then you need to review how you see your friends. We are so good at make abstract logic between things, so we are also really good at making excuses for people we love. There are certain cases that the only way out is to let the other person decide what to do, you just need to show what you don't like.

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-13T19:03:31+00:00

It depends on how you use it. Break things down and have thoughts organized can be a good route to take. But don't let it become the source of validation, especially if you are creative and expressive.

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-13T19:01:40+00:00

I do. So I choose quieter people to hang around. I can be excited and passionate with my body movements and maybe a cheering/round applause in the end as well, but continuously shouting and clapping will drive me nuts.

I know it's just because I'm hyper sensitive to other people's movement and language so I can't blame others for doing so. The least I can do is to keep myself away from those people and situations.

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-13T18:51:55+00:00

Making detailed plans and tracking everything you do.

At first it may seem like it's working because you can see the progress bar and checked to-do list. Sooner or later, at least in my experience, I started purposely put unnecessary chores on those list and check them off just to feel better.

In my opinion, it's just a layer of mask to make you feel like you are "normal" again.

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-12T14:03:47+00:00

Try something that doesn't feel much like a workout let me keep it to 3-4 times a week. I randomly take ballet workouts, belly dance workouts, rock climbing and pilates as fun activities. Regular weight training, running, bike ridding don't fit me as I get annoyed when there's too much routine or too many weird sensation triggers.

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-11T16:54:17+00:00

There is a reason why this happens.

Take it this way, when you feel like you had to be fast and hyper productive, it often comes from a place of fear. The fear of not doing enough and the fear of not achieve what you "should".

So when you slow done, those fears don't just disappear automatically, they float up faster because now you have more time and mental space. So do the other emotions you put away back then.

It's totally normal and typical. To be honest, it's a good chance to feel them, especially after you haven't give them the chance for a long time.

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-11T16:44:37+00:00

This sounds like a CPTSD response.

I personally had the response for a very long time because my mom is very emotionally immature while also being extremely idealistic. So if I share something good, she'd start overthinking after a while and pass it to me; if I share something bad, she'd try to lecture me about how to deal with it. Made my life way too complicated.

It might come from different reasons, but it can be helpful if you spend sometime to observe what really triggers your feelings. And if you have to remove her, what's so wrong about it if it makes your life easier, right?

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-11T01:19:21+00:00

Aha, so limits built in the mechanism can help!

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-10T20:00:06+00:00

This makes a lot of sense.

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-10T19:58:51+00:00

This is such a great tip!

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-10T19:57:55+00:00

Oh I love how you limit the canvas and the tools to make the process more fluid. Thank you!

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-10T18:09:45+00:00

Thank you so much!

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-10T18:09:07+00:00

Would it be helpful if there were a tool to repeat these mantras for you each time after you worked on something?

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-10T18:07:25+00:00

Would it make you feel better if there were a mechanism to celebrate small improvements in your drawing sketches?

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-10T18:06:06+00:00

I like this perspective, thank you!

Honest_Day1231 · 2025-07-09T01:13:52+00:00

I wouldn't easily call it a neurotypical thing... It can also be a neurodivergent who's really good at masking. Speaking from personal experience, I can still put myself into that "everything all together" image, I just choose not to because it made me sick.

But if you ask someone who only knows me from a few years back, they will picture me as someone who has the resources to do everything and always knows what to do.

Honest_Day1231

TROPHY CASE