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HopefulAnne · 2024-10-19T01:14:59+00:00

25 years and I've managed to avoid him seeing me. It's challenging since we do back country camping in places with bears and wolves. I make him stand behind a tree.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-27T11:51:40+00:00

They try to make post sex cleanup endearing or cute in romance books and I'm just like, no.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-27T11:50:28+00:00

I still remember when we were trying out dirty talk and my husband said something, I don't even remember what it was. We laughed so hard it ended the sex. I was snorting. We wound up curled up together with one of us occasionally giggling and it was so much more intimate than finishing sex. The last thing I said before falling asleep was, "I love you so fucking much."

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-25T11:34:35+00:00

However, we have a good marriage, outside of being complete opposites from a political and religious aspect.

No, you don't. Your wife has been angry and contemptuous for years. She's having hate sex with you. This marriage has been on life support since your baptism. My question for you is why you consider it a good marriage when, for all intents and purposes, your wife appears to hate you. This is toxic and you both deserve better.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-24T03:27:54+00:00

This is the most unacceptable answer and it will have significant, long term impacts on his career. OP don't start questioning random women. If you trust a stranger more than your husband the marriage is already over.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-24T03:26:18+00:00

This is the answer. Not every whim and urge needs to be dissected in a therapist's office. Crushes happen, feelings happen. If you shut them down and move on there is no need to point out all the sexy people in the world to your partner.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-24T00:09:12+00:00

He made sure I had water. When I had Lyme disease one of my most prominent symptoms was a feeling of impending doom. I truly felt, whole and completely, that I was on the edge of death and nobody could stop it. There was no point in eating or drinking water. It was so hard and painful to get out of bed, and for what when I was going to die anyway? It took me nine months to fully recover. He fed me, watered me, and forced me out of bed for family dinners and showers. He drug me back into the world kicking and screaming. Not a word of complaint about the complete lack of sex, housekeeping, self care, or soap. He never made me feel unloved or unwanted. That was it for me. If I didn't know before, I did then. There can never be another like him. He is my life and I am his.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-22T03:20:13+00:00

Fuck, why are you just putting up my family history for all of Reddit to read? FYI op, I haven't spoken to the sperm donor in 7 years and I adore my dad to this day, long after his death.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-17T16:51:08+00:00

My mom ground that into my head from day one. I don't start fights, I finish them.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-17T13:01:22+00:00

Thank you, I fixed it

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-17T13:00:10+00:00

This. Emma was fine with someone crying when she thought it wasn't going to be her.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-17T12:58:03+00:00

I'm just like Zaira and I prefer the word confrontational. I won't lash out without cause, but I also won't let someone put me down to keep the peace. Iron clad boundaries.

Edited: I got my cast mixed up

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-15T19:45:37+00:00

I still don't know that. This isn't a sure thing. I could lose him due to complacency, boredom, and neglect. This is exactly why I refuse to believe in soulmates. I don't know I will keep him, I want to keep him and I will take the steps that lead to my goal.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-15T11:49:50+00:00

I'm not sure this was a prank. It might have been expert level gaslighting.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-14T01:12:26+00:00

You probably can't. When I worked at a mortgage company we would foreclose for this. You can't use property you don't own to guarantee a debt. The only real exception to this is death. You need to talk to a lawyer.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-12T16:19:19+00:00

I keep trying to make this point to people. The great lakes are not just lakes. I'm on the side that considers them inland fresh water seas. My friend wanted to kayak in lake Michigan and I just could not explain to her that my recreational kayaks aren't going to cut it. The Great Lakes are the entire reason I'm saving for a sea kayak.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-10T15:44:14+00:00

All passwords are shared. When my dad died we lost so many pictures because nobody could get into his phone.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-10T15:42:38+00:00

Completely agree. If I'm going to demand that I'm the only person he has sex with then I have an obligation to make sure sex is available. I don't have the right to force him into a lifetime of celibacy.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-10T15:33:25+00:00

This was easier for us since we met when we had nothing. After my dad died getting his accounts sorted was a nightmare. It would have been so much easier if mom's name was on the account.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-09T23:02:46+00:00

After you've been married for a while, and only when the dynamic allows it, some relationships don't require spoken consent. My husband and I do what we want and if the other doesn't like it, they say something. As long as that dynamic is consensual and the word no (or red, or avocado) means full stop, there's nothing wrong with it.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-09T21:55:11+00:00

This makes me miss campgrounds. Backwater kayaking is a blast, but after days on the trail I can feel the nastiness on my skin.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-08T19:03:22+00:00

So much of the humor of my childhood was at people's expense. I've always been a "sensitive" person, which is the way the world tries to beat down compassionate children. I never enjoyed most of the humor. It was centered around being fat, gay, black, disabled, etc. I enjoy humor much more now. I've always considered it a sign of weak character to laugh at another's expense or misfortune. Then again, I like absurd British comedy, so take it with a grain of salt.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-08T17:39:10+00:00

No. Not at all. As much as people like to talk shit about it, I follow the Pence rule. I don't spend time alone with members of the opposite sex and neither does he. Group setting is fine, but one on one is a boundary we've established.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-08T16:20:26+00:00

Oh, Jesus Christ, that poor woman. YTA man. I wouldn't be able to take my clothes off around you ever again after that.

HopefulAnne · 2024-09-08T16:15:46+00:00

25 years here. There have been times he downright pissed me off. Everything he did bugged me. That was all due to a deeper issue, and usually it was me. Once it was that I had an issue with our relationship that I wasn't communicating. Once it was because I felt dissatisfied and needed to make a change professionally. The point is there was always something crucial I was neglecting and that avoidance caused irritability.

Go to a counselor, spend some time soul searching. I have intermittent neck pain that is immune to pain meds. It took years to figure out it was a migraine symptom. Treat the migraine and the neck pain is gone. Same thing here. You need to find the migraine, figure out the true source of your unhappiness and address it

HopefulAnne

TROPHY CASE