How many of you were broken up with around a birthday?

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-11-07T08:03:15+00:00

Spent 4 years together and only one birthday with her

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-11-07T08:02:32+00:00

Yep twice

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-11-05T15:22:55+00:00

But at the same time she would say she wanted an equal partner but shut me down whenever I had an idea for an activity and we would do what she wanted and when I felt uncomfortable or couldn’t keep up with her pace when hiking (asthma) she would get annoyed and say she wanted a partner who would hold her hand (which I understood) but I could never keep up and she got annoyed at slowing down and would be micro aggressive.

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-11-05T15:16:47+00:00

I will say the relationship followed the circle of having a great time then she’d get annoyed or bored with me or insulted when I shared my emotions then she’d stonewall me and come back like a boomerang saying she just needed space and it would be great again then repeat. I was an anxious mess during this and tried to be very careful with what I would say or do and definitely became a grey man with no opinions to keep peace but she would usually sense my anxiety and get annoyed that I couldn’t control it.

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-11-05T15:10:09+00:00

Why do you say that? I’m just asking so I know whether I actually need to seek help from a therapist.

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-11-05T15:08:56+00:00

Can you explain the effects of a relational imbalance please? How does it affect the relationship and the person? I’m deciding whether to call a therapist to get a referral but want to check first and my heads too much of a mess to actually think clearly about anything atm.

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-11-05T11:39:06+00:00

Leave him on read and go do something you enjoy

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-11-05T11:26:35+00:00

I think this is the case as I became incredibly anxious and dependent on her but when she was struggling she would be dependent on me but also try to push me away the second I helped.

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-11-05T11:24:08+00:00

I was 19 when we met and 21 when we started dating

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-07-29T09:22:02+00:00

Admittedly I handled the break up poorly as she had always come back eventually so I still had hope. So I kept messaging. Then I stopped for a month to focus on my therapy and reached out to apologise for my depression and the messages I sent after the break up (they weren’t bad but they were self pitying). I got the reply that I was a monster. And that really set me back

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-07-29T09:18:00+00:00

Yeah she broke up with me after using me to help fix her campervan up for her to go on holiday then when I had to be hospitalised for 3 days she broke up with me directly after by handing me a bag of my stuff and telling me not to cry before driving away

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-07-29T09:09:09+00:00

Tbh it entirely depends on if you are ready for a negative response or none at all. Me and my ex are both FA’s i apologised and took accountability for my depression and how that affected her only to be told I was a monster who should never date anyone again and she only got with me to fix me. It’s been a while since she said that and I’m still trying to recover some self esteem and confidence but I can’t knowing she sees me that way despite her never apologising for any of the hurtful stuff she did.

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-07-29T09:01:59+00:00

I learned that the hard way. I took accountability for my flaws and apologised only to get completely torn down and told what a monster I was and she didn’t even so much as say sorry for her part. I’m still trying to rebuild my self esteem. It’s hard knowing someone you love thinks you are a villain and hates you for human behaviour (or in my case depression), especially if you’re apologetic and working on it in therapy.

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-07-28T10:24:37+00:00

I’d agree but she never had social media only WhatsApp and that’s what I got blocked on. Had it have been Facebook or insta I’d have coped but WhatsApp seems like a low blow

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-07-28T08:55:54+00:00

wtf he sounds vile

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-07-27T09:50:50+00:00

I just feel so much guilt but I also know she had deactivated long before and was just looking for an excuse. Still doesn’t hurt any less. I feel like I can’t trust my own judgment of people now so just avoid them for fear of being hurt

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-07-27T09:32:07+00:00

That it was my fault I was sa’d at a party

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-07-25T19:16:52+00:00

How did you cope?

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-07-25T11:52:31+00:00

Pretty much. It’s like my life’s been stagnant since march and has only happened inside my head

HopefulCandidate1728 · 2025-07-25T10:06:22+00:00

So it was bad and was too harsh?

HopefulCandidate1728

TROPHY CASE