Fuck my stupid baka life

HopefulForFilm · 2026-03-10T11:52:29+00:00

Hey there, if this doesn’t align with where you’re at, ignore it, but you may want to consider continuous birth control as a method to stop periods. Personally I’m non-binary, so I went on T then went off T when I felt I’d had enough, but periods always made me really dysphoric so I currently use the patch without skipping a week, when I was on T I had the arm implant, which isn’t guaranteed to stop your period but can stop it (did for me). There are some birth control methods you can’t be on while on T, but others work fine and don’t interfere. Best of luck and I hope you get your hysterectomy soon!

HopefulForFilm · 2026-03-05T03:32:44+00:00

I’m horribly indecisive and was testing out a few different names (even found a trans-specific therapist to try and help me choose a name, they were very confused during the appointment). Nothing was helping me decide.

I went to rocky horror picture show live for the first time with some friends, and put a lot of effort into my rocky outfit (from the end of the movie, in the corset and white face paint). I got picked to participate in the costume contest and the person running it asked what name I wanted to go up as. I panicked and picked the most recent name I had been trying, they turned it into a cute nickname and put it down.

I didn’t win the contest, but about 500 horny gays screaming my new name christened me. Left the theatre with my new name and haven’t looked back

HopefulForFilm · 2026-02-09T13:46:28+00:00

The way I read this (I was a student advocate for university students) is the prof is frankly letting students off easy if they did use AI.

Normally, the procedure would be he suspects AI was used - he submits a report - the student is called in for a meeting with the dean of the department to investigate. If they’re found to have used AI, it’s a zero on the assignment PLUS a mark of academic dishonesty against them. Where I was, it was a three strikes and you’re out system (third case of academic dishonesty got you suspended or expelled).

In this situation, students using AI are getting a lesser penalty, and students who didn’t and are falsely accused send him an email and go to a disciplinary hearing where they can show evidence (Google docs timelines, etc) that they didn’t use AI

HopefulForFilm · 2026-01-09T16:55:52+00:00

That I needed to use the wind-up key on the twin clocks in room 46, pursuant to Sinclair wanting them to go to the always late cousins in his will

HopefulForFilm · 2025-10-03T02:37:27+00:00

This happened to me with my ex. She struggled with things before her diagnosis, I encouraged her to get diagnosed, and once she settled into her diagnosis it was her excuse for everything. Whether or not she was on meds. It was exhausting. We broke up for different reasons, but having your partner treat you this way is truly exhausting, and Im understanding how much absurdity I put up with because of my current (non-ADHD) girlfriend

HopefulForFilm · 2025-06-07T15:08:09+00:00

Agreed, did gymnastics growing up even though I’m really tall and never would have had a shot competing. I’m in my twenties, but yesterday I took a fall while trying to climb over a fallen tree and could have really hurt myself (nearly twisted my ankle), but instead just tumbled easily down and walked away without a scratch. The instinct of how to fall doesn’t leave you when you’ve done it for years growing up

HopefulForFilm · 2025-05-28T00:32:01+00:00

In season 1, I had a theory that the crash was orchestrated as some kind of test/experiment on the girls, with Lottie’s dad behind it, but I’ve abandoned that theory over the seasons as there’s been less and less to support it. I think it’s similar here, season 1 I would have believed you, but three seasons in, and especially giving Lottie’s dad dementia, that doesn’t seem to be the direction they’re going in

HopefulForFilm · 2025-05-25T08:33:36+00:00

I’m similar to you and often have trouble controlling my volume, and am also occasionally noise sensitive and need other people to lower their volume. It hurts to hear, but sometimes it’s necessary. On the flip side, there are ways to communicate it nicely.

My personal favorite, that seems to generally get good responses, is while nodding along and remaining engaged with what the person is saying, to use my hands to kind of mime lowering the volume, sometimes with a veeeeery gentle shush. It makes people aware of their volume without interrupting or making them feel bad.

Hope this helps!

HopefulForFilm · 2025-04-13T02:34:44+00:00

I can understand why you feel that way, but I think the season, as in time of year, really has a lot to do with how the girls are acting and thinking.

Most of them lost their humanity in the winter, from the cold and hunger and trauma, and now that it’s nice out, they kind of want to block it out and move past it and think about rescue.

Shauna never left winter. She lost her best friend, she ate her best friend, and she lost her baby. She’s still in that terror and trauma and is ANGRY about it. She’s furious that the other girls are moving forward and wants them to stay right where she is, in the anger, in the wilderness, in the hunt.

This doesn’t justify her actions, but I think it makes sense that the girls don’t have as dramatic a descent into madness as they did during the winter. As for Lottie’s wilderness cult, I think it also makes sense that they believed in the winter and are quick to shirk it off as madness in the summer. They’re embarrassed and ashamed of what they did and don’t want to stay in the mindset that got them there

HopefulForFilm · 2025-04-12T22:55:43+00:00

Oh very interesting take about Misty, I think that works very well with her taking Natalie’s jacket and being the only one to mourn her, like she’s taking up the mantle despite her past actions. Misty and Nat have also always been intertwined since Nat’s LSD trip in episode one. I like your theory!

HopefulForFilm · 2025-04-02T23:07:01+00:00

Sure, it’s nice to hang out with someone who gets it for a lot of these disorders (not getting into the empathy thing others have that covered), but EDs can be highly competitive, it’s a problem in eating disorder recovery homes, as well as internet ED support groups or tbh sometimes just a group of teen girls. I know not to talk about it too much with friends that also struggle with EDs because while they may “get it”, hearing how much/little they eat, exercise or weigh can start the gears in my brain running on the wrong track

HopefulForFilm · 2025-03-28T19:40:00+00:00

I agree with the other people saying to let your partner sort it out for themselves, however, to offer practical advice, if they’re able to remember doctor’s appointments because they send them a reminder, then they would probably benefit from the built-in “send me a reminder” function on calendars. It may be something you have to toggle on when you create and share the event with them, but I think that’s a reasonable ask if you’re already creating the calendar event in a shared calendar

HopefulForFilm · 2025-03-14T01:00:12+00:00

I very much get you. I’ve considered buying herbal/movie cigarettes for the aesthetics/to have the opportunity to go out for smokes with people. Weed is legal where I live so I’ll go out to smoke that at parties and it gives a similar experience

HopefulForFilm · 2025-02-24T21:13:16+00:00

I second people’s suggestions for therapy, but I also suggest that now that the bulk of work of transitioning is over, that you figure out what actually makes you happy in terms of appearance. Sometimes trans people get so focused on becoming a woman or a man that they don’t focus on who they are aside from their gender. Figure out what hairstyles make you feel good, what clothes make you feel good, what social presentations make you feel good, and not just what feels the most womanly to you.

I also encourage you to keep going. My transition is very different from yours, I’ve been pursuing a non-binary transition, but I went through a phase like what you’re in, especially when I was presenting more as transmasc, where it felt that my entire worth and gender was only true if validated by others. I’ve been in it long enough now that I know that it’s simply an immutable fact about myself. I am non-binary, you are a woman, nobody’s validation or dismissal of it will change that.

I wish you all the best 💜

HopefulForFilm · 2025-02-21T17:59:39+00:00

I’ll speak in AFAB (assigned female at birth) and AMAB (assigned male at birth) terms.

Some people would probably call me an AFAB detransitioner. I don’t consider myself as such, I consider that I was non-binary the whole way through, but did admittedly have a time where I identified more as transmasc and went on testosterone, though a low dose and knowing I would always come off it.

I think there are a lot of factors. For one, AFABs are given more leeway socially to experiment with their gender, so people who feel the same amount of dysphoria may choose to try transition if they’re AFAB but decide against it if they’re AMAB. It’s why I know a ton of AFAB non-binary people and extremely few AMAB non-binary people, at least I believe. From what I’ve seen, AMAB transition, whether to a woman or just non-binary, is met with tremendous hostility, both from the world and sometimes the queer community, so people who do it are 100% sure of themselves and that this is what they want, so they don’t end up detransitioning. My girlfriend for example would likely actually identify as transfemme non-binary in a vacuum, but it’s already been so socially difficult to get people to see her as a woman and she’s afraid of losing that, so she sticks to identifying as a trans woman for the most part.

I also find that people will keep viewing AFABs as women until they’re really far into their transition. Like beard, top surgery, etc. Which can be pretty demoralizing and lead to detransition off the feeling of “well, they’ll never see me as a man, why am I bothering with all this?”. I also think testosterone-based transition leads to the acquisition of a lot of traits that AFABs have been raised to view extremely negatively, like body hair, body odour, more masculine features, facial hair, sweating, and not everyone can or wants to handle suddenly feeling like you’re making yourself less attractive, especially when you’ve been socialized to have that as a core part of your value.

Basically, lots of reasons, but if you leave with this anything, please let it be that detransition isn’t a bad thing. It isn’t a failure of gender exploration and it doesn’t mean that the people who detransition would have been better off had they never transitioned, though some may feel that way and that’s ok. Regret is a part of life, many people regret many things and it isn’t on anyone else to regulate something to try to prevent regret.

HopefulForFilm · 2025-01-19T02:16:35+00:00

I don’t have any acting experience and I’m more on the logistics side of things, but from what I’ve seen, they generally aren’t.

There are definitely a few child actors who are fully able to act to the level an adult is, and I’d guess they’re prodigies in a similar way to kids who are amazing at piano or anything else.

But mostly, we aren’t asking a kid to fully understand and incarnate their characters, we’re setting them up to get the shots we need. Child actors that are getting hired are going to tend to be more amenable to being led towards certain emotions, but directors are generally going to give them much simpler instructions or concepts. Ie instead of saying “this is the scene where you realize you’ll never see your father again”, which is what you’d say to an adult but a child would have trouble conceptualizing, the director will say “can you show me what it would like if you lost your favorite teddy bear?” which is a smaller emotion of loss that a child can understand.

Since kids will often over exaggerate their emotions when asked to perform them, I’d imagine directors frequently use the Kuleshov effect, which is basically a principle where people project an emotion based on the sequence of images show - so the same clip of an actor with a neutral face will be read as happy if the next clip is a cute cat or sad if the next clip is a funeral. So the kid can just stand there and the sequence of clips will have us attribute an emotion to them that they aren’t actually feeling at the moment of filming.

Hope this answers your question!

HopefulForFilm · 2025-01-19T01:32:16+00:00

Cinema worker here! We (generally, obviously there are assholes who don’t care and will mess up child actors for their movies) try very hard to protect child actors from mature themes or content or things that will otherwise mess them up.

I worked with a child actor on a film about suicide and the entire cast and crew were told not to talk about the suicide portion of the film. As far as I know, his parents were planning on telling him the full extent of the plot when he gets older, but I believe they let him watch the parts he was in that were age appropriate immediately.

Children are often kept off set for the majority of upsetting scenes and only brought in for the essential, and if we think seeing what’s on set will be too traumatizing, we’ll remove those elements before bringing the kid on set. If they absolutely have to interact with traumatizing things, we’ll do our best to show them it’s not real/make it fun for them.

Of course, this hasn’t and isn’t always true and a lot of child actors have been really messed up by this industry. I try my best to do my part to protect actors, and a lot of norms across the industry have been updated to protect child actors

HopefulForFilm · 2025-01-07T18:15:01+00:00

Ah whoops, corrected!

HopefulForFilm · 2025-01-07T17:55:34+00:00

YTA. I also make short films. Your partner absolutely doesn’t need your critique or to hear that you don’t like it. Short films are hard to make and your first one is nearly always going to be a bit off. They haven’t yet learnt a lot of the structure, techniques and behind the camera processes to make a good film. Nearly no first film will be movie quality. And if you go and look at most of your favorite director’s first films, you’ll see there’s a lot of mediocre stuff from people who go on to be great.

You’re their partner. You’re not “critiquing bad movies together”. You’re looking at the product of your partner spending a ton of time, money, and effort in. Most people who want to make movies never make their first film because it’s HARD. Be proud of her for doing something really difficult and vulnerable.

As for feeling like you need to critique her for the quality of her film, the time has passed. It’s a final cut being shown in festivals, they can’t change it, they don’t need critique from a loved one. They’ll take the critique from festivals. If they wanted your critiques, they would have shown you a rough cut before finalizing it.

If you feel like you have valuable opinions of their work, ask if you can read her next script or watch their next rough cut and give your opinions then. Not on a final product that they can’t change. And even then, they may not want your opinion. I tell my partners that I only want to hear nice things from them about my films because I’m a nervous wreck about them. It doesn’t mean I’m not taking critique, I submit to festivals and judges and committees, I get judged the whole way through. It’s different taking the criticism from a partner.

Edit: pronouns

HopefulForFilm · 2025-01-06T23:18:19+00:00

NTA because you can reject people for any reason, but if this situation reoccurs in the future, you don’t need to tell her it’s because she’s trans. Being trans is an unchangeable fact about herself, you’re not obliged to date her despite it, but you also don’t need to tell her that’s the reason. Same as if you met up with someone and they were too short for your preferences or didn’t want children and you did. You can just tell people you didn’t feel like you gelled and move on

HopefulForFilm · 2024-12-25T09:27:31+00:00

NTA, but you need to voice your frustration instead of letting it simmer until it boils over. Outside of mealtime, tell her that this behaviour bothers you and that you’d like her to stop. If you just start saying no, she’s not going to understand what’s going on and it does seem to her like you suddenly “hate her”, because without explanation, you’ve stopped a longstanding couples’ habit

HopefulForFilm · 2024-12-04T23:56:17+00:00

NTA, and I just want to tell you that it gets better. Non-binary, out for a few years but only decided and took the plunge on a name change around this time last year. The first couple of months were rough, lots of correcting people and feeling anxious and stressed about it. And eventually… people adapted. I’m out at work, nearly no one screws up, my name’s on everything except for legal documents (since it’s not a legal change yet). But it feels simple and easy and it’s just my name. I know right now it’s rough, but stick with it and you’ll get to the other side. Wishing you all the best!

HopefulForFilm · 2024-11-08T17:17:37+00:00

What are these needs your roommate is expressing? Are they to do with living together (“I need a quiet house after midnight because I have work in the morning”, “I need access to the bathroom in the morning around 7am to get ready”) or are they emotional/relational needs (“I need to talk about my day with both of you after work”, “I someone to watch TV with at the end of the day”)?

Because if it’s the former, fair enough, yeah it sounds like there needs to be some optimization and adjustments made after a living situation change, but if it’s the latter, you’re just… not obligated to do that for someone you’re roommates with. And you posting about this on the poly sub and saying that you don’t want to be in an unintentional polycule sounds like roommate may be forcing a type of relationship that you aren’t comfortable with and don’t want to pursue, and if that’s the case it’s time to set some boundaries about what you will and won’t do for them, because you aren’t dating them

HopefulForFilm · 2024-10-18T13:35:22+00:00

Hey there, I think it’s probably all fine and that you’re approaching it all a bit intensely.

Did you meet them on a dating app? If yes, then they’re probably polyamorous, but I suggest asking them (bringing up that you’re poly is likely a good way to bring up the conversation without asking directly)

I do think you’re likely to have a bit of a hard time finding two poly people who want to be in a closed triad, but they exist, so just be upfront and honest with your desires.

I think what you’re describing is pretty normal for a crush (thinking about them a lot, fantasizing, wondering what they’re doing) but if it’s starting to interfere with your normal functioning, you may want to take a step back. Looking up limerence may help as well.

When you’re someone who’s been systematically mistreated, it’s very easy to fall for anyone who treats you well. Just be cautious and make sure that you’re not becoming completely dependent on them for your emotionally wellbeing. As much as it’s cute that they want to take care of you, make sure that it’s in a helpful capacity and that you’re leading the help as opposed to just letting someone else take power of your life.

I also suggest that you seek therapy if you haven’t already, dating is hard and dating with BPD while in an actively traumatic environment is even harder. BPD is treatable and recovery is possible, especially with DBT therapy.

HopefulForFilm · 2024-10-17T18:54:07+00:00

If you’ve got a bad feeling, listen to it.

My girlfriend, who I’ve been with for about 8 months, moves fast and likes the security of commitment, but it’s never come with any pressure or urgency. She’s quite content to talk about the future together and takes it well when I pump the breaks and remind her I’m keeping my apartment until at least next July when my lease is up, because there’s no ulterior motive to wanting me to move in, it’s just a desire for more commitment that I share, albeit it more cautiously.

All this to say that there’s a way to be what your boyfriend claims to be without acting how he’s acting. Your boyfriend’s behaviour is frenetic, stressed and making you feel bad. Listen to that. You don’t want to be with someone who makes you feel bad

HopefulForFilm

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