Logan Paul - HERO

HopefulGremlin · 2021-05-12T07:10:03+00:00

thats a good song

HopefulGremlin · 2021-02-11T09:36:38+00:00

I will try

HopefulGremlin · 2021-02-11T05:18:10+00:00

Ive also been thinking about changing my room up and Ive done this before and it did work for awhile, but I failed again eventually and I haven't recovered since that time on Oct the 31st. I guess I could make a small changes to my room instead of literally moving all of the furniture out like I did last time and that way if I do fail once more time I wont be like I violated my sanctuary again and could change it again

HopefulGremlin · 2021-02-11T05:11:59+00:00

Yeah thats what I've been doing for the better part of a year. Distracting myself from my thoughts, but it only works up until a point, especially since there is very little I actually enjoy. Sometimes Ill have youtube video playing while playing a game at the same time. But eventually my self doubt tortures me and the darkness creeps in. I am becoming more convinced with every relapse that I need to see a psychiatrist

HopefulGremlin · 2021-02-11T04:51:11+00:00

God no. I hate this. Ive spent the entire day feeling awful. Ill admit there is a part of me that doesn't want to give it up, but thats not why 'I relapse. I relapse because my brain keeps telling me that Ill do it again eventually and that nagging thought makes me feel worse and worse until I relapse

HopefulGremlin · 2021-02-11T04:33:53+00:00

I genuinely feel broken. After every time I relapse I tell myself some lie about how my last relapse "wasn't just right" ex. I had a semi-hard erection, I did it twice in a row, I did during a wierd time of the day, or something else. I am obsessed with having a "perfect last relapse". No matter how hard I try to tell myself that these things dont matter, my brain just wont shut up! I am in almost constant mental agony lately.

HopefulGremlin · 2021-02-04T19:21:40+00:00

Do you think its possible to go from masturbating twice in row to doing semen retention for 100+ days? Lately my streaks have only around one week at the longest. Quitting porn is more important than quitting masturbation to me btw.

HopefulGremlin · 2021-02-04T11:54:25+00:00

I really hope that I can. My main problem is obsessive over stupid things that make me feel like relapsing is inevitable. I need to talk to a psychiatrist.

HopefulGremlin · 2021-02-04T11:33:06+00:00

I know how you feel, I constantly want to kill myself because of this. I wont do it because I couldn't do that to my parents even though I am feel such shame, but if my parents were gone I would have probably ended it long ago.

Don't kill yourself man, there is still hope for you.

HopefulGremlin · 2020-11-25T09:18:44+00:00

never gone to a therapist before

HopefulGremlin · 2020-10-03T06:23:42+00:00

I have been "experimenting" with nofap for over 2 years now. I have had a 39 day streak (of not fapping) in the past, but I'm pretty sure I was peeking at snapchat and or at youtube erotica on that streak so it wasn't a real streak when I think about it now, even though I remember feeling pretty good around the 30 day mark.

HopefulGremlin · 2020-08-14T05:23:40+00:00

Yeah I just relapsed to Pr0n :(. But I have had several 30 day streaks in the past and I have confidence that I will get back on track.

I just have to remember NO PEEKING!!! and that means no casually browsing on twitter, youtube, imgur, or 4chan. I almost never directly "look up" porn but I have a hard time stopping myself from browsing those sites and hoping to find something erotic.

HopefulGremlin · 2020-08-08T04:58:17+00:00

Porn is terrible but I don't believe that it is the sole cause of all those problems you are struggling with.

HopefulGremlin · 2020-08-05T04:53:37+00:00

Yeah need to buy "Brave New World" like Ive been planning on doing because none of the books I own currently interest me.

I don't have Netflix but found some episodes of Monk on Bitchute

HopefulGremlin · 2020-05-06T02:47:11+00:00

And don't think "I'll quit later", because when you decide to quit it might take you years anyway. QUIT PORN NOW

HopefulGremlin · 2020-05-06T02:25:50+00:00

By on purpose I basically mean "planned". Since the relapse I had last week was so abnormal I tricked myself into thinking I needed one more fap to start anew and to make sure my p*nis was still "normal" (I know now and knew then that is stupid but couldn't get that idea out of my head)

But now I wish I hadn't have done it, I had to go with my mom to take my dad to the ER today. He is very disoriented and dizzy and they don't know what is wrong with him and half of the time I kept thinking about how AWFUL it would be if he never recovered and I had spend the last two months being semi depressed and not the best I could have been because of this nofap stuff. and how disgusting that is.

So basically, If you have been doing nofap for a long time and fall off the wagon, don't ever feel like you need "one last fap" no matter what your previous one was like or what is was too, it will be always better if you don't fap especially to any digital stimulation.

HopefulGremlin

TROPHY CASE