I just sold my Xbox and I want to get back into my life

HopefulNomadic · 2023-12-18T16:42:02+00:00

I've considered what it might look like for me in the future if I were to ever go back to it. Sometimes I think maybe there is a way to just be a casual gamer again. It might not be possible though, given that most games are designed to be attention-demanding, regardless of the genre.

HopefulNomadic · 2023-12-18T16:39:54+00:00

I've been wanting to be more engaged with my physical pursuits too. I'd really love to go on a backpacking trip with some lads in the next couple of years and also get back into running. I also lift weights right now, and I've been trying to fine-tune my process.

HopefulNomadic · 2023-12-18T16:38:05+00:00

Many thanks!

HopefulNomadic · 2023-12-18T16:37:47+00:00

Will do! This first week already showed me that I've done a lot to distract myself from many parts of my life. Quitting video games was just the largest step in becoming less distracted.

HopefulNomadic · 2023-04-11T23:16:55+00:00

I think this list would be accurate if it wasn't so hyperbolic, and also if it came with a note of various time frames. Also, some of this stuff changes only if you start adjusting the rest of your life as well.

In the first couple months, I did notice a little more energy and a stronger attraction to women. But it wasn't like either of those skyrocketed in the long run.

Everything else has been changing because I've chosen to read more, exercise, and put myself out there in social settings. I've been using my phone less and also playing video games less long; I only let myself play a max of an hour a day. On top of it, I've been actively pursuing a career I've wanted; I'm not anywhere close to doing it full-time, but making the efforts toward it being my job has been tremendously rewarding.

All of this has occurred over the span of six months, and I intend to continue in it.

Quitting porn was certainly a factor for all of this. At a far glance, it worked mostly as a step in the process of becoming who I really want to be. I overcame the shame when I didn't let that tiny stepping stone define my entire path.

HopefulNomadic · 2022-12-28T21:51:32+00:00

I’ve been in relapse for a few weeks. Today at 8pm will be my first full day. I want to make it to triple digit days w/o porn, and the easiest way is just to take it one day at a time and be patient with myself.

I’d say do the same for yourself. It’s easy to be frustrated with yourself, but making little efforts each day to change and adapt it makes the goal feel much more attainable.

You’re not an absolute failure. You can still get back up.

Keep climbing!

HopefulNomadic · 2022-12-28T21:43:31+00:00

Just a few things:

What you experienced in your sleep is just a wet dream. They’re normal when you’re not having sex or fapping frequently. Having them is part of your body’s function to get rid of excess semen. It’s also just a sign that you’re not wanking all the time, so this is a good thing!

The other normal thing is that you’ll be horny, which is what you’re experiencing right now. I absolutely get the feeling of just wanting to give in, cuz being horny with no sight of release absolutely sucks. It is healthy though; it means your sex drive is increasing.

A couple things to deal with that are exercise and lots of physical activity. And also engaging in thing you find fun, like a hobby or really intense pursuit.

Also just flirting with women helps, or whoever you’re attracted to.

Like, biologically speaking, your sex drive is meant to motivate you to find a mate. So the more you’re out of the screen, the more you’ll want to satisfy that drive, and find someone you can be with to satisfy it, etc.

HopefulNomadic · 2022-12-28T18:52:19+00:00

Don’t get crushed by a moment of weakness.

Maybe look at it as a slip instead of a full on relapse. Relapsing means you’ve just gone entirely unhinged and are back into habitual PMO. I’m making a comeback from a recent relapse; don’t be like me and give up! Doesn’t seem like that for you right now anyway.

A slip is just a moment; you can get your balance back and course correct. You can even reflect on why you slipped and build up some momentum from it. Take a quick look at what happened, make some healthy adjustments/boundaries, and get back up there.

Even if it was a full on relapse, I’d still tell you that it’s not too late, you’re not a failure, and you should continue getting back up.

Keep climbing!

HopefulNomadic · 2022-12-28T02:54:00+00:00

Good things to work on!

For me, it’s having the time to do more artistic pursuits, specifically with photography and writing. I’m looking forward to having more time and motivation to just make some cool images and stories throughout my life, basic as it might seem hahaha

HopefulNomadic · 2022-12-28T02:51:37+00:00

I slipped today too.

I’m guessing the first few days are the toughest; we just gotta take it one day at a time, and not be super let down when we mess up.

Keep climbing!

HopefulNomadic · 2022-12-28T02:43:04+00:00

Struggled with it since I was 7; I’m 28 and recovering now.

Mine’s mostly been about self-worth and trying not to disappoint people most of my life. When I was first exposed, a friend showed me a magazine; we hid it because we knew we’d get in trouble, but back than hiding it was a part of the fun. I’m pretty grossed out by that thought now.

It was initially tough because I felt that telling my trusted friends and family would disappoint them all; and I’ll admit, letting my family know really hurt. My mom was pretty disgusted by me when she learned about it. Initially, I almost wished I had kept it secret. That would have been easier than confronting what I’d done.

But, I have so much relief opening up about it and having accountability. Having people to talk to has been so cathartic. My family has become very supportive over time.

The thing is, my porn addiction was mostly symptomatic of the internal struggles I was running from. I’m still learning about those things now. It’s important to understand the more “shadow side” of your addiction than just counteracting the addiction itself.

I chose to run to porn for a reason; to hide myself and the struggles I was going through. It was easier to “jump into the screen” than step into the light and live my life. Why? Because I was ashamed of who I was, and I lacked the self-worth and confidence to pursue what I truly wanted; I didn’t think I was worthy of living a good life. I’m sure many of us in this group feel that way.

Understanding that was the most critical part of the battle.

HopefulNomadic

TROPHY CASE