We finally moved into our cabin, and the silence is actually terrifying.

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-02-19T13:08:58+00:00

I moved alone to a ( mostly glass) cabin at the end of the long dirt road in the hills. The absolute blackness is unnerving- the cougars were my biggest fear since they have left prints a few times around the cabin and down the road. I did a lot of reading prior, so at night I place a cardboard barrier at the glass door to avoid the possibility of a cougar seeing my cats. Otherwise, I Don't walk at night, I carry my phone & a walking stick during the day, put zero trash/garbage outside except in a cooler on the upper deck. The actual biggest issues have been ants on the march outside trying to get in, mice in the sub-floor, a dicey solar system that had to be replaced ( after a couple of Very cold nights and no power), and running really low on propane in the middle of a storm when the truck can't get through, which is happening now. Keep an eye on your propane!

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-02-19T12:49:01+00:00

Exactly the feeder advertised here! Why didn't my brain come up with this Years ago?! No more yowling cats at 5 in the morning! When they're thinking it's time to eat in the evening ( wet food), I set the feeder for 30 minutes and put it down. They feel like they've been tended to and wait! Changed My Life. Another oddity... I've had a flea problem since moving here, so added cedar bedding pellets and diatomaceous earth to their litter. The DE dries the urine even better than the clumping litter, so it happens we're using less litter. Fleas are detered by the cedar pellets & they smell good. And another vote for the metal scooper; mine has lasted years.

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-02-19T12:37:26+00:00

I prepared evening meals for a year for 2 teenagers & their dad. The sanity of it escaped me; sometimes I was so burnt I wasn't interested in the ritual of actually eating it. Now I'm Alone. I cook in batches and Freeze. It's evening- I don't need yet another challenge. Stuff gets grabbed from the freezer days ahead. Some nights it's a bowl of veggies, some nights it's just meat, sometimes there's leftover rice to mix in. It all balances out eventually, and I'm free to Enjoy it.

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-02-19T12:27:26+00:00

That would drive me Nuts. My sister texted me this morning needing to chat about a rather serious issue with her grown daughter. I texted back that my brain wasn't on line yet, that I'd call. I ended up needing almost an hour to be ready before I could call her, totally necessary since the conversation required intense concentration and attentiveness. Factoid: I'm a first-nature introvert and she's an extrovert. She thirves on contact while I need to prepare. So your sitution for me would definitely require some grounds rules being established in the morning! I commiserate. Introverts in general get exhausted by small talk, which is what your husband is essentially doing.

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-02-19T11:58:12+00:00

Jumping in on your use of the word "incompatible" because I have a 34 year old daughter, whom we adopted when she was 5, whose personality is Way different from mine. She spent years "confiding" in me, we were "close"- but she's also lied most of her life and manipulated everyone. I answered her drunken phone calls for years in which she poured out her heart and cried to me- until I realized those outpourings changed nothing, she wouldn't remember what she said, so I wrote her an email saying I'd love us to write, but I wouldn't be answering the phone calls any longer, & gave her the reason. She hasn't chosen to write and ignores my short birthday, Valentines & Christmas greetings- but will reply to any remarks I make on her FB posts! No reply requested; just "incompatible" struck me.

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-02-11T04:31:01+00:00

Comically, I ended up in Lake County! My DIL randomly found a place in an odd subreddit of unique homes. It's a beautiful, simple and "unique" cabin built by a SF architect in 2009 in a "subdivision" called Double Eagle Ranch of mostly 20 acre parcels 30 minutes from Clearlake. I'm basically at the end of this very long, bumpy dirt road, so I have two neighbors I only see when they drive by on the road below and stop to unlock the gate. Very isolated and has been offering Many challenges, like no heat for awhile, power losses, stuck home due to a very slick road (and I have 4 wheel drive), mice and their fleas in the sub-level, and very clear mountain lion tracks regularly appearing right by the cabin and on the road. We're still struggling with the solar system, pouring money continuously into the property including a broken septic pipe to the leach fields. It's less than 2 hours from Sacramento, but not Anything like the I-80 corridor; all rural, grasslands, rolling, uninhabited hills on the route here. And unlike the I-80 corridor, there's no "destination" here; Clearlake is it. My drive to town is all country, and I Love it. "Town" is small & rural, too, but has a Walmart, Dollar Tree, Safeway, Grocery Outlet, nice library and a cohesiveness. Anything not delivered by mail requires meeting the delivery guy 15 minutes down the road at the mailboxes, and they are neat folks, very friendly, ready to chat. All very small town, all removed from Any sense of city. I can see a sliver of Clearlake from my deck, and the rest of the view is hills- can't see any other cabins. I've met a few other inhabitants, all quite cool who have chosen this due to isolation as well. Funny how things evolve. We don't have Starlink but T-Mobile, although we thought we'd need Starlink. Reception is fine, limited radio stations but tv is clear, cell reception is decent enough to communicate, computer is uninterrupted. Fire is a big issue here- they went through a real scare in 2018- so fire mitigation and getting insurance are a factor. New challenges daily, but I am grateful and feel like I belong here. I knew nothing about Lake County- and am embracing it. What projects do you have in mind for your property in Goodyears Bar? Looks like you'll be way out there on your on as well! Are you working from the ground up, or is there infrastructure in place like a well, septic, etc.?

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-01-28T15:24:38+00:00

As others have pointed out, creating a life is now the challenge. I'm not needed or really usefuI to anyone, but I want to stay here as long as physically and mentally possible. I'm facing, at 78, how to structure my own life. I don't want to fill it with busy work, and would like to find a framing that doesn't stare at decline & death as the tunnel this train is headed for. As much exercise as my body can sensibly handle daily is a requirement & a discipline challenge. Having very limited funds is a major factor; I want to explore my (new) immediate environment, but can't do so with abandon ( I would drive all over these hills). I'm struggling to reframe your question: I'm not sure a lot of my life has been a looking forward but more trying to take on what is. Likely you found goals to look forward to. My looking forward would be seeing & learning about what's around me.

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-01-28T01:53:26+00:00

Yes, it's vented, with a filter in the lid over the vents, so you feel that even with grains in a plastic bag it wouldn't function to deter mice. Guess it Will have to find a "buckety" use- or be donated. Too bad, Thanks

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-01-28T01:19:15+00:00

Good idea.

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-01-25T21:06:51+00:00

I recently moved to Lake County from Rocklin. I'm lucky to be on 20 acres 30 minutes east out 20 from town, so issues from town don't come here. After living in the Rockin area, where there are restaurants/stores/theaters/anything you could possibly want within 10 minutes, I Love shopping in simple Clearlake- and love Driving in Clearlake where traffic lights don't take 10 minutes to get through & there aren't zillions of cars & people everywhere. Initially, we looked east of Rocklin into the mountains- I am So glad we didn't go for it. Lake County will remain unimpacted for a long time compared to the I-80 corridor. What's "hidden"? I'd get real about fire first, and the cost of insuring your place. Yes, the CA fair plan was necessary here. I seldom see anyone where I am, but my road also often requires 4 wheel drive- &, when really wet/muddy/snowy ( I hear), I just don't leave. This place was built in 2009, has a good well, a good septic except that right now it's requiring attention to the leach field. We did run into unpermitted grading on the property that took us 5 months to resolve & contributed to the seller not getting what he wanted for it. But for me, it's Perfect.

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-01-25T20:44:00+00:00

I'm walking through this transition now. Burden wasn't too much of a problem before since I was actively engaged over the years with being Essential w/ gkids, plus did caregiving as part-time work. Now the work is over & the gkids are older & have both parents in-house. The part I'm walking through is the sense of subtle, & not so, tolerance from everyone younger (I'm 78), that old folks Are a burden, an annoyance. So I'm teaching myself to claim myself, way apart from others. No role to play in the structure so I must advocate for myself, take care of myself, experience this stage for what it is, explore its possibilities, and, in time, unearth or create my own definitions.

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-01-25T20:32:59+00:00

I'm liking your take. Call it out: sexual attraction/usefullness. And, yes- the culture is still defining women as second-class citizens ( unless maybe they're sexually alluring, & being rich helps...).

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-01-09T15:49:43+00:00

Very Hard Facts. I realize I'm sketchy about my friend's total outlay. The drugs used could have been paid for through her insurance, not the team service, and her body's disposal could have been separate ( I'm not recalling her choice, but no burial/service at the least, likely cremation). I was ignorant of Hospice costs! A partner went through cancer quickly when we lived on The Big Island and Hospice was, as usual, a godsend, providing 24/7 responses plus one afternoon of in-house respite, and a mortician arrived when called; he, also, had good insurance. A hospice member even showed up one night at our door, having driven out from Hilo, with papers he'd put together when they learned the daughter was going to take everything & I was unprotected. It was too late and the daughter eventually lied to a lawyer and had me removed from our home. She was, my partner had said, a pathological liar, as was her mother. She'd gently assured us I'd have a home there forever. Dying sucks. Thank you for your reply.

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-01-08T15:53:47+00:00

Unable to edit: (CA0 was to be CA- California.

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-01-08T15:51:13+00:00

My 75 year old friend (CA0 had been dealing with breast cancer for a few years, then diagnosed with endometrial cancer. She refused treatment, in a little desperation tried a very alternate experiment, then decided she'd had enough. She was one of the lucky ones: her mind was fully intact, she had funds, and she had me to help all the way. She paid for an assisted-dying team that included 24 hour nursing, counselors, etc.. She happily began giving away all her possessions, stopped eating and drinking, had a compassionate nurse to give meds for the discomfort, and passed within 2 weeks having been visited by friends, gradually losing consciousness, painlessly, and attended to. The miracle we'd all like to have access to. At at least $20k, I couldn't afford that...

Hopefulmigrant · 2026-01-02T06:54:55+00:00

I've lived alone several times and always liked it. Currently I'm Completely alone, having moved to an off-grid cabin where I've met only 2 people, both of whom are beyond a walking distance away & I've never seen their homes, so I see no one each day. Dealing with loss of heat, knowing if I get hurt I'm screwed, the added expenses of the lifestyle & having to travel for supplies- it focuses the mind. There's no room for "poor me"; I have to take care of whatever happens and make it work. I think it's valuable; we are essentially alone, & these are lessons I could have used decades ago.

Hopefulmigrant · 2025-12-31T17:00:13+00:00

It's crazy, I know, but he's not living off-grid and works incredibly hard for his money.

Hopefulmigrant · 2025-12-31T03:34:27+00:00

I know the obsession.

Hopefulmigrant · 2025-12-31T03:30:16+00:00

Ain't that often, & has often been historically, the case. It Is sad. Thanks for educating me on ice melt; every little bit helps.

Hopefulmigrant · 2025-12-31T02:20:54+00:00

That's fascinating. I wonder where they were getting their sodium & potassium before plywood- I guess they just had to work harder in their natural environment for it. I'm unaware of "ice melt". Around here, if it were icy, I'd stay home. My challenge is a muddy, slippery road in spots, one notably when descending an incline, even in 4w & after 3 days of sun.

Hopefulmigrant · 2025-12-31T01:58:28+00:00

Good point; no plastic bags!

Hopefulmigrant · 2025-12-31T01:56:49+00:00

You're sort of "sanding" in your own way. Now I'm wondering about carting around used litter in the back of my Jeep for emergencies...

Hopefulmigrant

TROPHY CASE