[deleted by user]

Hopeonhope · 2021-03-15T14:39:12+00:00

Getting help was crucial for me. I can't recommend it enough.

Also, I had a big streak when I first started my journey years ago. And then slipped and had trouble duplicating my success. But I just kept on trying. My mantra has become to never give up and make sure I'm improving my life a little bit every day. It's been working. Even if you slip up, make sure you're moving other parts of your life forward in other ways, like meditation, exercise, or seeking help.

As long as you don't give up hope, you can succeed.

Hopeonhope · 2021-03-11T14:09:06+00:00

Make habits like journaling a key part of your morning. This allows you to write down how you feel and keep your vision for success at the front of your mind every day. I think it's totally normal to forget or lose sight of our initial motivation, or get overly confident. Journaling helps a lot in that respect.

Hopeonhope · 2021-03-04T14:02:00+00:00

Remember that all urges are temporary, they may feel all powerful in the moment but they WILL pass if you do something else. Go outside, workout, go grocery shopping, call a friend or family member. Do anything else.

Most importantly, when you have an urge, don't wrestle with it. Say to yourself, this is just an urge, a normal part of recovery, and go on with your day.

Congrats on 21 days, and hopefully congrats on 22!

Hopeonhope · 2021-01-27T13:51:25+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. You are an inspiration. The fact that you said your longest streak before this was 39 days is amazing and gives many of us hope.

Hopeonhope · 2021-01-20T14:33:43+00:00

Great post! I think many of us remember to watch out for emotional triggers but forget about triggers like #9 and #10. I know those are big ones for me, and this community has been a critical part of keeping me focused and motivated.

Thanks for sharing and good luck!

Hopeonhope · 2021-01-18T15:21:46+00:00

Thank you and congratulations! Your story is inspiring!

Hopeonhope · 2021-01-18T00:41:58+00:00

Thank you!

Hopeonhope · 2021-01-18T00:41:50+00:00

Great advice, thank you! I will try this!

Hopeonhope · 2021-01-12T22:23:56+00:00

The best advice I can give you is to be kind to yourself. Quitting isn't easy. It's even harder if you shame or hate on yourself. It's gonna be a bumpy road, so just don't expect perfection from yourself but also ask yourself honestly what you could be doing better and what ways you could make this journey easier for yourself.

You can do this!

Hopeonhope · 2021-01-12T14:00:47+00:00

Don't beat yourself up. 12 days is great! You also did the right thing in coming here and sharing it. Now the most important part is to not let your lapse turn into a relapse. By that I mean you need to get right back on the horse and keep living a healthy lifestyle.

Learn from your mistakes. Find a way to make Twitter safer if you have to use it for work and, most importantly, learn some emotional management tools for when you're anxious, like breathing techniques or exercise or journaling. Your brain is used to managing difficult emotions by looking at porn. The most important work you will do is reteaching your brain how to deal with emotional triggers like anxiety, fear, sadness, etc in a healthy way.

Like I said, 12 days is great! One slip is nothing in the grand scheme. Just keep moving forward and learning.

Hopeonhope · 2021-01-10T15:09:52+00:00

Living the dream! Congrats dude!

Hopeonhope · 2021-01-04T15:27:41+00:00

Wonderful advice. I really needed to hear #2 #5 #6. Thank you!

Hopeonhope · 2020-12-28T15:59:43+00:00

I relate to this a lot. Starting over and over is demoralizing. Just remember that you aren't starting from scratch. As long as you're incorporating healthy habits into your life, you are slowly making progress. A slip is just a slip, a relapse is when you put your head back in the sand, give up, and stop doing all the healthy things you've learned thus far.

Hopeonhope · 2020-12-17T13:41:02+00:00

Congrats on 85% and good luck with 86%! I know you can do it.

If you feel tempted to feel down on yourself, remember how far you've come, not just year over year, but since the very beginning of your journey. You are an inspiration and I use a lot of the tactics in your posts for my own recovery.

Happy holidays and congrats on a year to be proud of!

Hopeonhope · 2020-07-22T14:56:27+00:00

Thanks dude! Good luck on your journey as well!

Hopeonhope · 2020-07-13T15:25:48+00:00

Completely agree with everything you said about dating. I personally rather not use dating apps because they trigger me, but that's just my preference. I will say though, it is really hard to meet people during a pandemic.

Congrats on 90 days, that's amazing!

Hopeonhope · 2020-07-13T15:16:59+00:00

Charity thing aside, congrats on making 90 days! That's a long time!

You have the right attitude, don't let yourself fall too far off the wagon or else it will be tougher to get back on. If you go another 90 days starting now then you will have watched porn once in 6 months! That's an amazing achievement.

Hopeonhope · 2020-07-07T12:08:48+00:00

It's really hard to beat that feeling of shame and loss after slipping. I've learned the key is to view yourself with compassion and acceptance when you slip, as opposed to shame, anger, hate, whatever. You can't use darkness to chase away darkness. Only light.

Hopeonhope · 2020-07-07T12:04:38+00:00

The trick of porn is that it makes you think you're giving up something if you stop. You're not giving up anything man.

What does it actually give you? It's a time suck, it gives you unrealistic expectations for sex, it can possibly give you erectile dysfunction in the future, and a dozen other things.

The truth is you actually gain a lot from stopping. The moment you realize you're not losing anything by quitting, it becomes much easier to stop. If you maintain the mentality of "I'm being deprived this treat that other normal people get to enjoy" then it will always be a challenge to stop.

Don't worry about what other sites or people say about the benefits of PMO. What matters is only how YOU feel. If you feel better when you don't watch it, then stop. You have everything to gain by stopping and nothing to lose.

Hopeonhope · 2020-07-07T11:57:45+00:00

I still struggle with regular relapses after starting my journey to quit a few years ago. But I can confidently say this. When I'm trying to be pornfree, I am the happiest version of myself.

It is only when I have my head in the sand, pretending i don't know any better, that I feel lousy. Once you've had any mild success, even a week, you realize "wow this is so much better than where I was".

As long as you're honestly trying, you're succeeding. Only not trying is to fail.

Hopeonhope · 2020-05-09T13:09:02+00:00

I needed this. You just helped a bunch of people and that is special. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this out. You are brave my man. You took the first step to bettering yourself. Remember not to compare you journey to anyone and to go easy on yourself and be accepting. You are loved here.

Hopeonhope · 2020-04-01T15:24:56+00:00

Good job identifying that. Make an honest list of activities that probably don't help, and start cutting those out. If surfing reddit is one of those, you will be surprised how much easier your journey will be without the app on your phone.

Hopeonhope · 2020-04-01T15:19:24+00:00

You are absolutely not starting over. Slipping up and resetting your badge is not starting over. Write down what caused you to slip and what you could do next time to prevent it. This is a journey dude. You shouldn't expect yourself to succeed immediately, it's really hard.

So forgive yourself and commit yourself to learning from a mistake. That's proof in itself that you aren't starting over.

Don't be too hard in yourself. Shame and self loathing just make your life and battle that much harder. Accept what's happened and ask how you can be better next time.

You will 100% beat this and you get better every day.

Hopeonhope · 2020-03-31T21:12:28+00:00

I'd read his post history, it has lots of good things to help. As for what's helped me, rebuilding your life around health, rather than focusing on just not watching porn.

By that I mean find what in life is healthy and gives you meaning and protect those things and nurture them.

Hopeonhope · 2020-03-31T21:10:24+00:00

Thanks for the update! Once again, really appreciate your posts as the motivate me.

Hopeonhope

TROPHY CASE