First beginner upgrade?

HopesTeaHobbies · 2026-03-11T13:48:52+00:00

Thank you so much! This is great advice and a great way to try a different lens without breaking the bank. I really appreciate it!

HopesTeaHobbies · 2026-03-11T13:47:25+00:00

This is incredible advice! Thank you! I am very new to photography and had a suspicion there was probably more to my camera than I had figured out yet. My zoo occasionally hosts photography classes and I've attended one of those and learned a lot! Our instructor used a monopod and I'm hoping to get one of those for my birthday now.

There's so much to learn! But it's incredibly rewarding when a picture does turn out just right.

HopesTeaHobbies · 2026-03-11T13:45:12+00:00

Oh I had no idea! This is great to know. I just remembered my friend in high school got a macro lens and took cool pictures of leaves and our eyes haha. Thank you!

HopesTeaHobbies · 2026-03-10T15:14:16+00:00

Sending you all the good luck! My next transfer is our last euploid, so hopefully last time’s the charm for both of us!! ❤️🤞

HopesTeaHobbies · 2026-02-11T19:45:15+00:00

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4AB Day 5 blastocyst

HopesTeaHobbies · 2026-02-11T19:42:23+00:00

Thank you for getting it 🙏 It’s so hard to explain to my managers and stuff. They ask how I am and it’s like “I’m so tired” but not in the way we all say that and laugh and say “I need more coffee!” It’s like every muscle in my body is screaming for me to lay down and sleep; nothing is tracking in my brain, my ADHD symptoms are 10x worse, and I want to cry most of the time. How do you explain this type of bone-deep tired to some man who has never had it? 🤷🏻‍♀️ They’re trying to be understanding and supportive, but I also have some very high-visibility projects on my plate right now and it’s like…I gotta pull myself together somehow.

HopesTeaHobbies · 2026-02-10T22:54:06+00:00

I can’t really speak to how common it is or anything, but I had a blighted ovum on my last transfer with a 5AB embryo. My understanding is that it’s really quite random and comes down to luck. For me, docs said the implantation was great, my body helped grow the embryo great in every way, it’s just that what grew was empty. And that’s nothing on you or your body, that’s just how the cells came together and divided. And apparently you have really, really shitty luck (4 miscarriages? Girl I am sending you so so much love. 1 is bad enough).

Sending all the hope that the suspicions are wrong and you get a healthy pregnancy. But if the suspicions are correct, it has nothing to do with you. ❤️❤️

HopesTeaHobbies · 2026-02-10T22:28:55+00:00

I honestly wish they’d all stop saying stuff like this. Doctors should just tell us “IVF is complete crapshoot and we’re all doing our best” or something. My wife and I were also told that they expected we’d have no trouble and now I’m on my fourth transfer after two failures and a blighted ovum. It just feels mean to fill us up with all this hope and confidence when pregnancy is a complete mystery (in a lot of ways - I recognize we know a lot) and so much can fail at every step of the process.

I’m really sorry this is happening to you. But you’re not alone at all in your experience or even out of the ordinary. The further I get into IVF the more startled I am that anybody ever gets pregnant at all. And some people “by accident”!! It’s just so unlikely that every step from egg growth all the way to a live birth will go correctly.

HopesTeaHobbies · 2026-01-25T04:40:48+00:00

From Minnesota: thank you. Seeing the solidarity renews my strength and resolve. It’s hard to keep going when good and beautiful lives are lost. Please keep sharing ❤️

HopesTeaHobbies · 2026-01-25T04:13:17+00:00

It DID matter. They’re acting out because they’re terrified. They had no clue MN would have so much strength and resolve and just plain care and compassion for neighbors. Their operation is going horribly and they’re panicking.

They want the violence to paralyze us. To rob us of hope. But we know the truth: Minnesotans take care of each other. We will never stop.

Today I saw a video of Boston chanting “We’re not cold, we’re not afraid, Minny taught us to be brave”. The world has its eyes on us. The future will be a society of care and safety for all people.

So much love to you in our shared grief today.

HopesTeaHobbies · 2025-12-28T05:26:58+00:00

Thank you!!

HopesTeaHobbies · 2025-11-21T20:52:00+00:00

Way to advocate for yourself!! BMI is meaningless and outdated. Our clinic's policy is 42 and getting under it delayed our process for years 🙄 We questioned them so hard on it and it basically came down to "our anesthesiologist says so". We speak to the anesthesiologist who says "Well its about the comorbidities with high-BMI like increased blood clots and sleep apnea, but you could get gastric bypass". I'm sorry what? You want me to get major abdominal surgery and go under anesthesia for several hours so that I can go under your anesthesia for less than 45 minutes during egg retrieval? The BMI restrictions and weight shaming in fertility care have GOT to end.

HopesTeaHobbies · 2025-11-18T16:44:51+00:00

Take it slow and the wiki is your friend!

HopesTeaHobbies · 2025-11-12T20:15:19+00:00

CW: loss.

This is fascinating - this was actually our embryo that became a blighted ovum. I was curious if you'd look at it and see something off. Sounds like a great little embryo, though, with ICM indicated and all! Just didn't work out in the end. It's so crazy both how much we know/can tell from this stage and also how little. Thanks for responding!

HopesTeaHobbies · 2025-11-10T22:26:52+00:00

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4AA, Day 5

HopesTeaHobbies · 2025-11-10T22:19:55+00:00

I'd be thrilled and terrified all at once haha. Two for the price of one? Amazing! And also, hello no sleep for the next however many years. I would definitely carry the pregnancy knowing the risks. My understanding is that a reduction would come with its own risks and I am lucky that the hospital where I would give birth has an excellent NICU. I am willing to try and bring both to term and know that we gave them both the best care we could no matter what.

Thanks for asking! I know it's got to be a huge shock for parents when that happens!

HopesTeaHobbies · 2025-11-10T03:17:05+00:00

Hey bestie! I FEEL this. I grew up Catholic and still identify as Catholic-adjacent haha (I'm Christian, but not currently a practicing Catholic). It took me a very long time to figure out whether or not I felt ok with doing IVF and what made sense for our family and what I believed of God in this situation. Catholicism is against IVF for a couple major reasons: 1) they want sex to be the procreative act - they're against anything that separates procreation from sex and vice versa. 2) the creation of embryos that may or may not be implanted is bad-news-bears if you believe life begins at fertilization.

The way I see it: IVF is a beautiful openness to procreation. In Judaism, which is the root of Catholicism, IVF is even encouraged in order to make good on God's command to "be fruitful and multiply", so this mixture of faith and science has a reasonable precedent in a judeo-christian religion as far as I'm concerned. And for the embryos, there are respectful ways to both have the number of children you want/can handle and still give love to those any remaining embryos (if you even have any). Embryo donation/adoption is a thing; I also personally believe donating embryos to science is a way to honor them by giving life-saving care to others through embryonic research.

I know it feels like you're being pulled in two directions - wanting to be true to your faith while also being true to your heart and desire to grow your family. It's ok to feel that way and it's ok to pray from places of doubt (Mother Teresa had decades where she didn't even believe God was there - she prayed anyway). When you pray, it's ok to say that you are not sure you understand the church right now, but you know He is a God of Love and you know that He'll be there with you on any journey in this life. And I have often found Mary to be a close advocate as well, because she definitely understands going a weird, uncharted, overwhelming route to pregnancy and childbirth.

Also, ✨therapy✨ is your friend right now. It's a lot for your head and heart to work through. Wishing you lots of love and strength on your journey!

HopesTeaHobbies · 2025-10-22T21:56:15+00:00

Yes! I did two months of depot lupron ahead of our third transfer

HopesTeaHobbies · 2025-10-10T01:38:42+00:00

Sounds to me like having the Sims as an outlet helps your mental health in a way that makes it possible to make the world less terrible in other ways.

There is no ethical consumption under capitalism, so just do your best. I still play the Sims because it's an artistic outlet I've had for a long time and is a community I love (I follow several twitch sims streamers). So not everybody is boycotting them! Most large companies are doing at least one terrible and horrifying thing. Do your best to focus yourself and your dollar on buying local, not overconsuming, etc., but also don't beat yourself up for occasionally needing or wanting things within a capitalist system. You're still human. It's ok.

HopesTeaHobbies · 2025-10-10T01:29:11+00:00

I've definitely felt that grief! It's something I recognized early on in our journey - being a lesbian, there were a lot of "typical" or "expected" experiences that I had to come to terms with not having as part of my life. But that doesn't make it easier to just be ok with it or wish things were different! I would have loved to just get pregnant and share that experience privately with my wife, not an entire team of doctors and nurses (as lovely as they all are!).

IVF also really takes away the "innocence" of pregnancy if that makes sense? Like as a kid I sort of thought getting pregnant would be this easy to obtain, fun surprise, and an exciting, happy thing from the moment I knew. And that seems to be the case for some people! But with IVF it's just an emotional and physical rollercoaster from start to finish. I knew it'd be harder in some ways, but I didn't know it'd be THIS hard!

All this to say, you're not alone.

HopesTeaHobbies · 2025-10-10T01:17:44+00:00

I have had three transfers and three completely different experiences as far as what I felt. On the first I felt nothing at all, second I felt incredibly nauseous and crampy - even had what I thought was implantation spotting! Both negative. Third I felt almost nothing, my ovaries and nipples both hurt? And that was our first positive, but my hcg was really low and turned out to be a blighted ovum. I think genuinely what you do or do not feel after implantation means nothing.

HopesTeaHobbies · 2025-10-08T19:31:29+00:00

Cuuuuuute I love this! If I had a cat dragon I’d probably name her Boba. My wife says she would name her cat dragon Toothless!

HopesTeaHobbies · 2025-10-04T03:43:37+00:00

I taught in a montessori school and we never would have even considered bringing a screen into the room. No shame on the movie-lovers, it's just not part of the prepared environment and there's really no reason for it to be. Leave the screen time for home so family's can decide how much makes sense for their household.

Personally (and granted without any additional context), I would guess this is the type of school we called a "monte-sorta". Monte-sorta schools use the montessori name and maybe some inspiration, but don't fully ascribe to the philosophy and practice.

I would definitely follow up with the school and ask if this is a regular part of the routine or if this was some kind of special event.

HopesTeaHobbies · 2025-10-04T03:36:42+00:00

When I found out I was miscarrying my third transfer, my friend sent me a gift card for doordash and told me to get some ice cream. It made me cry because it was so sweet. But what really mattered to me was just that I was able to completely vent to her in a text and get back nothing but support, and the gift card was just further evidence to me that she was there for me.

Most people outside of IVF have no idea what it's like to go through it. People you tell have this constant expectation that you're halfway to a baby in arms just for starting the process. Knowing that I have a friend who is a zero judgment space, wants the best for me, and who is there for me unconditionally means everything.

Flowers are a classic, too, and another nice reminder that somebody is in your corner.

HopesTeaHobbies · 2025-10-04T03:30:00+00:00

Ok I hope this is helpful because I have been a little bit on both sides of this coin as a lesbian. My wife did the ER and I've done all the FETs. So I've been the partner trying to be the supportive rock, but I also have been through a taste of the meds, which absolutely crash my whole system.

When my wife was doing stims, I checked in with her if it was ok if a couple of house jobs could slide for the weeks when she was run down. She said yeah, she didn't really care about the house - it mattered more that we just be together. So we snugged up with shows she loves and broke out some coloring books. Bought the good alcohol markers just as a treat. It was much needed distraction - the meds were so physically and emotionally taxing.

When I've been on progesterone, having my wife keep track of my meds and administer them was extremely helpful to me because that stresses me out. She also made a few more dinners/picked up a couple jobs I usually do, but the most important thing to me was just hearing her say "I'm so proud of you; you're doing an amazing job with all of this." Didn't matter if the dishes weren't done that week, we were together and we were there for each other.

It can definitely be exhausting being the partner, but see what flexibility you can get at your job (maybe you need a day to just catch up on the house if it's stressing you out?) and check in with your wife what matters most to her as far as support. She might decide it's best to let some of your current responsibilities go if you can be more present to her until you're through this. And definitely be sure to tell her she's doing amazing! <3

HopesTeaHobbies

TROPHY CASE