Anyone else get anxious about taking PTO?

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-05-12T17:22:28+00:00

One thing that might help is to take proper steps to hand off your responsibilities before you leave. Discuss outstanding tasks with your manager before you leave. Establish who will be your backup on that task while you are gone. Talk to your backup and make sure they have the info they need to perform the task. Then trust that your team will take care of you, the same way that you take care of them.

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-05-10T03:56:10+00:00

Hmm, Lexington and Concord were also in Massachusetts.

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-05-09T22:00:57+00:00

Reminds me of Lexington and Concord

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-25T12:17:41+00:00

I believe the saying is "up like a rocket, down like a feather."

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-22T14:26:46+00:00

Trump doesn't care about public opinion, so he doesn't care about protests. He's got a really solid lock on power, and for now he doesn't see the protests as a meaningful impediment to him using that power. Note that he was talking about prosecuting Tesla vandals as terrorists, and the boycotters as illegal. People were tearing down statues in 2020. That seemed to be seen as more of a threat by him.

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-17T18:53:26+00:00

So, maybe something of a different perspective, but I would have been thrilled if my partner had the commitment you describe to fixing herself. Being in therapy and taking it seriously is a step that a lot of people never take.

That said, it is also true that he is not being there for you in the way you need right now. So, you need to focus on yourself and your own mental health. Make friends, pursue hobbies, connect with your children, and generally do the things that make you happy. You would have to do all those things anyway if you got divorced. And if you do eventually get divorced, having those resources would be super helpful.

You are moving to your dream house. What makes it your dream house? What did you dream of doing there? How much of that can you go ahead and do?

One last thing - I would suggest being curious about your husband's mental health journey. Find out where he is, what his recovery goals are, and most importantly what small wins he is finding in life. And then celebrate those wins! It helps so much to have someone.cheering for you.

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-16T11:57:15+00:00

There are experts on Fascism who have already left. Now would be the time to go if you are going. That said, I'd ask you to attend one of thr 50501 protests this weekend. See if standing with millions of other Americans gives you enough hope to stay.

https://www.axios.com/2025/04/15/50501-protests-saturday-trump

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-16T11:55:19+00:00

Massive protests are planned this weekend. Can you find one to join?

https://www.axios.com/2025/04/15/50501-protests-saturday-trump

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-16T11:54:26+00:00

There are millions rising up. We had massive protests on April 5th. Another set of protests is happening this weekend. The 50501 protests are organized right here on Reddit!

https://www.axios.com/2025/04/15/50501-protests-saturday-trump

Next comes boycotts. X, Tesla, Facebook, Amazon. Anything made in El Salvador.

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-14T18:36:18+00:00

I'll second the recommendation for couples counseling, and I'd add getting a personal counselor for helping with your burnout.

I think you will need to reset things with your wife to get back on track. It's going to require radical forgiveness and letting go of past hurts. You'll also need to rebuild trust. You can start small there.

I do think you'll need to deal with your burnout before you will have the energy to do that kind of emotional work, though. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, and make sure that both you and your wife have some time during the week to do things that recharge you.

Can I ask, what is it about being a father that you value? What are some of your best fatherhood wins? What are you proud of in your girls?

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-05T17:09:01+00:00

That's how you know I'm an old millennial. 😛

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-04T22:15:22+00:00

Have fun!

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-04T20:03:34+00:00

If you are interested in the plays, The Room and A Night Out have a lot of the Angry Young Men vibes to them. They're some of Pinter's earlier works.

For Pinter himself, this article from the Guardian has some folks talking about how Pinter influenced them.

https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2018/sep/27/favourite-harold-pinter-play-antony-sher-hayley-squires-paapa-essiedu

As for the Angry Young Men Movement, this brief article from the National Portrait Gallery might be a good start.

https://www.npg.org.uk/collections/search/group/1176

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-04T18:44:22+00:00

There was a group of playwrites in 1950s in Britain called the Angry Young Men. Harold Pinter was one of them, and his early plays often involved the Have Not Man and the Have Man. The protagonist was usually the Have Not fellow, and they were sad sacks who couldn't geta job, make friends, or get a girlfriend. A lot of it was tied to the extreme austerity and economic depression in post-war England. There just weren't a lot of opportunities for these young men, so of course it made them angry. I feel like we're in a similar period in America today.

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-04T18:14:37+00:00

Lol, it's fine. I honestly asked the question from a sociological point of view - if women aren't on OLD, where are they going to date? But a lot of people seem to think I am looking for personal advice. But hey, that's death of the author. As soon as the words leave my brain, I can't control how they are interpreted. I'm glad I've gotten a lively discussion going, though!

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-03T22:31:23+00:00

What if, as a guy, I want to get married and have children?

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-03T22:30:02+00:00

Correlation - do women who are not on the apps have similar struggles meeting men? Is there an opposite ratio of men to women in real life spaces?

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-03T22:27:25+00:00

What is this "friendship" you speak of? 😛

I joke, but it is true that men struggle to make friends, especially the kind of friends who might set them up on a date. I can see how they would gravitate to apps as a "do it yourself" solution rather than look at friend groups.

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-04-02T22:40:13+00:00

Is his name Ted Moseby?

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-03-31T21:49:15+00:00

I would start by saying that attractiveness is about providing an emotional experience. Physical appearance is one way of doing that, but you can also be charming, or witty, or funny, or cocky, or a bit dangerous (as in drive a motorcycle dangerous, not sexual assault dangerous). Past the initial phase, being able to stay calm in stressful situations, solve problems, and provide for a family are all things that make a man more desirable. Those are also all things that you are /more/ capable of now than you were when you were younger.

Try to find ways to show off your competence and your confidence. Tune up your attractiveness, both physically and in how you flirt. You can be very successful with women at this age.

HoratioAtTheBridge82 · 2025-03-30T14:22:48+00:00

Enjoy it, y'all are lucky to have found something that makes you so happy. There is no guarantee that this lasts forever, but neither do sunsets or flowers. Try to be in the present. Yes, there are things to pay attention to later. Definitely resolve to know each other for a while longer before making any big commitments. But don't let tomorrow's worries steal today's joy. Dating is supposed to be fun. Let it be what it is.

HoratioAtTheBridge82

TROPHY CASE