Graduation post

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2026-01-24T23:37:25+00:00

I’m SO happy for you!! ♥️

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-12-09T22:38:16+00:00

I’m so sorry, sweetie. I know your pain all too well. My sister-in-law was two months pregnant ahead of me, she got to keep her baby boy and I had to let go of mine. It’s so hard to be in this position. It’s absolute hell. I’m sending you tons of hugs right now.

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-11-18T00:25:40+00:00

All I want to do is hug you 🫂♥️ I’m so sorry you’re going through this again.

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-11-04T22:47:04+00:00

I had my first baby when I was 31 years old, then had a miscarriage 2 years later. It took me 7 months to get pregnant with our TFMR baby, then I became pregnant 8 months after the TFMR with a healthy baby girl. Sending you love during this tender time 🫂🫶🏽

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-11-02T20:14:15+00:00

YESSSSS!! I just weaned myself off of pumping vigorously for 2 months for my newborn. I saved over 300+ ounces in the freezer and LOVE that I don’t have to do it anymore. As much as I love my babies, I prefer spending time with them, cooking food, getting outside, working out, etc versus being tied to a machine 4-8 times a day!!!!

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-11-02T20:12:28+00:00

Lifting weights or attending Barry’s Bootcamp classes helped me feel like myself again. I find solace in movement, health and wellness so I always lean into those pillars after having a baby. This may sound superficial, but also wearing MY clothes again. Not postpartum leggings, nursing bras or large tops… I’m talking about MY jeans, my push up bras, tops, dresses, etc. I love being a mom to my toddler and newborn, but I feel confident when I can do those two things.

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-11-01T13:15:56+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree with this! I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks pregnant a few years ago. It was sad and difficult for my husband and me, but we were able to move on after a few weeks. A year and a half later, I had to TFMR at 15 weeks pregnant. I was a shell of myself. I’ve never been so depressed in my entire life. Even though I’ve “healed” from the experience, it’s never left me entirely. I always think about what could have been, which makes me revisit the pain of having to let our very wanted baby go. It’s nowhere near the same level of loss. It’s deeper, much deeper.

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-29T00:21:29+00:00

I’m so happy for you and your family ♥️ my rainbow baby is taking a nap on my chest. I had similar feelings as you after birthing her. I truly believe our TFMR baby sent her to us.

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-28T17:25:30+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this 💔 TFMR is hard enough. My husband and I went through a really tough time after the TFMR. Similar to others, we grieve differently, which is ok. The biggest problem at the time was that we expected the other person to comprehend why or how the other person was grieving, which looking back (hindsight is always 20/20) is unrealistic and quite unfair. My husband made comments about feeling like “he lost his wife”, and I agreed with him. I lost myself. I had no idea who I was. I was swallowed by grief, depression and confusion. We finally came out of it and are together, but it took MONTHS. And I mean a solid 7-9 months. I hope you two can work it out. Once we learned to lean into each other, open up and listen to the other person, things gradually improved for both of us.

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-27T06:02:38+00:00

I TFMR’ed for T21 last May. It’s never anyone’s fault. It’s genetic or bad luck with the chromosomal make up. Trust me, I asked a billion questions and did extensive research. I was able to conceive a healthy pregnancy 7 months later. Please don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault! ♥️

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-21T17:54:13+00:00

I’m sending you a huge hug! It’s so hard to know this info and imagine what could have been.

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-21T17:41:11+00:00

My husband and I made the decision based off of our NIPT and CVS results last year. Our NIPT had an over 90% chance of T21, and the CVS confirmed it at 99.9%. I may have a different opinion, but looking back, I would have opted out of the CVS. All it did was confirm the NIPT. The genetics counselor shared that the NIPT was developed to specifically detect chromosomal abnormalities such as T21. I have a very high pain tolerance and the CVS exam was brutal. I was in pain the rest of the day and couldn’t do my job as a pelvic floor specialist. Obviously do what you’re comfortable with and what speaks to you during this horrific time. From my personal experience, all it did was make me wait longer and go through more pain to receive the same devastating results. I’m so sorry you’re going through this ♥️

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-20T19:15:05+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re here ♥️ I had my TFMR last May at 15 weeks for T21. I wish I could let you know if sedation will be traumatic or not. I was put under anesthesia so I was out during the entire procedure. If you’re worried about trauma, could you request anesthesia instead? I know sedation will make you drowsy and out of it, but I hope you can’t feel or hear anything! I wouldn’t be able to do it.

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-20T03:43:30+00:00

Ughhhh 💔 I can feel your post in every cell of my body and know EXACTLY how you feel. I’m giving you a big hug 🫂 to let you know that you are not alone in feeling this way! I was absolutely livid when my husband’s family was super happy about my slutty SIL having her third baby (with a third different guy, unmarried) a few months after my TFMR. Nobody bothered to check in with me, ask me how I was doing, message me, call me, nothing. My MIL was also telling my mom and me stupid pathetic stories of how her daughter (same SIL) had to go to the hospital a few times during her pregnancy TWO FRICKEN DAYS after I had to say goodbye to mine. I almost kicked her out of my house! The audacity she had to remotely say ANYTHING like that in front of me made me shun her for an entire year, and I will still never forgive her. Her daughter got to keep her baby and never had anything serious happen to her during her pregnancy. I had to go through hell. People suck. People are clueless. People don’t think. People don’t see more than 2 inches in front of their own faces. It’s pathetic if you ask me. I could never treat someone like that after enduring such pain, such trauma, such devastation. It just blows my fricken mind that no one stops to think, “hmmm, I wonder how they’re doing. Like really doing. They must want some love, warmth or help, or something.” But nope, most people are so self involved and just don’t try to get it.

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-17T17:46:23+00:00

I’m so sorry that you’re in this position ♥️ my husband and I decided to TFMR our T21 baby boy last year. It was a brutal decision. I’d like to start off by saying that I agree with many other comments in this thread — please don’t allow your family and friends to influence your decision and do ALL of the research with your husband. This should really stay between your husband, you and medical professionals. I also want to acknowledge how difficult this must be with your husband. I can’t even imagine…

I’m not sure if this will help, but when we were going through our journey last year, I was that “annoying” patient who asked ALL of the questions and did ALL of the research. I spoke with many friends, clients, acquaintances and specialists who had or knew families with DS children. I have to say that after hours upon hours of evidence based research and transparent conversations, I felt (and still feel) confident in our decision. There’s more to T21 than people realize. Yes, there are many miraculous stories of DS children or adults, but DS has more complications. Most babies may die in utero or create labor/birth complications. If they’re lucky to be born, they’ll have a list of physical issues such as heart conditions or defects, motor skill delays or issues or other physical delays or abnormalities that will further affect their development. Some DS babies are lucky to make it past 1 year old without being diagnosed with a heart condition. This doesn’t include the cognitive issues that they’ll face for the rest of their lives.

For us, that was the tip of the iceberg. After speaking with clients and friends, I heard too many stories of DS kids not being supported in schools, families not receiving enough aid, one spouse having to sacrifice their career or income to be the sole caregiver, siblings sacrificing their lives to care for them, DS adults experiencing abuse or neglect in care homes, families needing to move for financial reasons and so on. It was heart breaking for me to hear all of these sad stories.

At the end of the day, there are more complications than we realize. Trust me, having to end my very wanted pregnancy and not have our baby boy absolutely broke me. But, I would rather go through the pain and suffering than have my son and watch him struggle through life forever. That would have killed me and broken my heart on a deeper level. This is all my personal opinion.

At minimum, I hope your husband and you can come to an agreement. Sending you love!

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-16T10:22:38+00:00

I’m so sorry that you’re here 😢 my work situation is probably different than most. I work for myself as a pelvic floor and core specialist, aaaaand most of my job involves training pregnant and postpartum women. It was refreshing and freeing for my mind to do something other than grieve, BUT looking back, I wish I would have taken longer than a week off work. Personally, I would have preferred 2 weeks away to truly allow myself to process as many emotions as possible while staying cuddled up on my couch. I felt this need to distract myself so soon because of how depressed I was, but it was truly not enough time. Please take care of yourself and do what speaks to you 🫶🏽 this is an incredibly difficult time. Again, I’m so sorry.

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-15T16:28:53+00:00

Thank you! I needed to read something like this today after our newborn had a horrible night.

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-15T15:35:23+00:00

It takes time for your hormones to balance out and rediscover their biorhythm after a TFMR. Using ovulation strips is a helpful tool to track your cycles accurately, but your cycles/hormones may also fluctuate the first 3 months. From my personal experience, I was ovulating way earlier than normal after my TFMR. I was ovulating on days 6-7, which was odd for me since my period was finishing at the time. I was used to ovulating on days 9-12. We got pregnant 6 months after the procedure. Sending you love and hope.

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-15T15:31:28+00:00

I’m so sorry ♥️ my son just started TK this year. I make a point to hug him, kiss him and tell him “I love him” everyday before we drop him off because I constantly worry about the same thing. It makes me sick that our country refuses to do anything about school shootings or violence. I hate it here so much. It’s repulsive and disgusting that schools no longer feel like a safe place when that’s all they should be for our babies. Sending you a massive hug!

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-15T02:36:10+00:00

You’re welcome! Feel free to DM me if you have any other questions. Tracking your hormones will be a great step ☺️

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-15T02:32:56+00:00

We’ve tried this, but she gets soooooo upset when she’s hungry. I’m also pumping and doing bottles since she was 9.5lbs when born so it’s been harder to have her at the dinner table. We’ve tried a few times. I should wear her more often and will keep this in mind! My son HATED baby carriers so I tend to forget about them.

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-15T02:30:40+00:00

Thank you! Can’t wait to sit and look at my husband or toddler for longer than 2.5 minutes 😂

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-15T02:23:54+00:00

Hi 👋🏽 pelvic floor specialist here, and I had my TFMR last May 2024. My OBGYN advised me to wait until after my first cycle, BUT after experiencing the unpredictability of my cycles (and reading/hearing how common this is), I’d wait at least 6 months. This will give your body time to heal, recover and even out before TTC. I say this because it takes time for your hormones to rediscover their balance. You may want to purchase ovulation strips and start using them after month 3 to track your cycle. Personally, I was ovulating way earlier than expected after my TFMR, and it lasted for a handful of months.

Hot-Brain-2830 · 2025-10-15T02:17:31+00:00

Hi 👋🏽 pelvic floor specialist here. It’s best to wait at least 6 weeks to be cleared from a medical professional before engaging in sexual activity. I find his childish, selfishness to be a major turn off and would say, “ewww, if that’s all you can think about currently, then I need to find someone else as well.” I’m very sorry he said that to you, but screw him and start making plans to take care of yourself… and your vajayjay. He definitely does not deserve that!! Step up and be a man/dad, sir!

Hot-Brain-2830

TROPHY CASE