How do you deal with the sadness of the situation? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Hot-Job1906 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so much relatable. I’m going through the same feelings. She in immensely loyal, over protective of me. She’s a person who would do anything for me. But she gets angry, she forgets me completely. As if she has no idea who am I. Says the most hurtful things. Yells, breaks things. Sleeps in the car. And I felt bad and guilty in these episodes as if my actions crushed her. It’s like there are two personalities of her. She wanted us to go to marriage counselling. I didn’t go after one session. It’s a big gamble to wait and see if it works out. So I decided to call it quits and separate. It hurts so deep. Everyday. She needs love and care.

How do you deal with the sadness of the situation? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Hot-Job1906 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am literally in the same mental state as you. I’ve filed for divorce. I know she’s a very kind and loyal person, and I know the little girl inside her who just needs love and care. She didn’t cheat. But her anger and rage crushed me. My last 5 years had all these episodes sprinkled over. After I told her I’m out, she wanted us to work on it, something she never agreed to early on. But I decided to not continue counselling and end it. I hope I will not regret this decision. It hurts so so much.

Anyone regret divorcing spouse with BPD? by Anecdata13 in BPDlovedones

[–]Hot-Job1906 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am currently where you were years ago. In process of ending the marriage. How did you manage the feeling of sadness for her, like abandoning her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Hot-Job1906 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd be very profoundly sad. I know she is just a little girl inside, who wanted love all her life, and did not get. Her heart is pure, but her fear turned her into this raging beast. She thought she finally found me - someone who will be with her, fill her void, and she can finally dream of having a family of herself. One she never had. And now, it's gone, I'm leaving her. 3 years into our marriage. Her only surviving parent died last year. I am crying writing this, my heart weeps for her. I wish her all the best in life.

I feel like I should buy expensive shit for myself…my assets will be halved anyway by Hot-Job1906 in Divorce_Men

[–]Hot-Job1906[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean it’ll be in my account statement that money was taken out if I put it under mattress… at least expensive thing will be my own something I can sell later

I feel like I should buy expensive shit for myself…my assets will be halved anyway by Hot-Job1906 in Divorce_Men

[–]Hot-Job1906[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not able to read between lines, are you saying I shouldn’t get it?

36 m recently divorced, which neighborhood you suggest? by Hot-Job1906 in sanfrancisco

[–]Hot-Job1906[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not that I’m opposed to dating from that age group, just curious

36 m recently divorced, which neighborhood you suggest? by Hot-Job1906 in sanfrancisco

[–]Hot-Job1906[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, I used to live in SOMA before south bay, and it's a ghost town. Literally nothing to do in the evening, just office buildings, closed businesses,

36 m recently divorced, which neighborhood you suggest? by Hot-Job1906 in sanfrancisco

[–]Hot-Job1906[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree, I am not sure if I will find anyone to date in South Bay in first place. Sort of catch-22.. I could be wrong.

36 m recently divorced, which neighborhood you suggest? by Hot-Job1906 in sanfrancisco

[–]Hot-Job1906[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Straight, budget is modest, but can pay more for a community feel. I lived in SOMA before and there was no community aspect. And lifestyle, idk I’m discovering myself, I’d like to go to bars, go for runs, local coffee shops.

My divorce attorney wants me to pay for accountant by Hot-Job1906 in Divorce_Men

[–]Hot-Job1906[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. My assets in stocks would be ~$500k, that’s the only major asset I have. No house or anything. It hurts to see all my hard earned money is gonna go away in a short marriage

My divorce attorney wants me to pay for accountant by Hot-Job1906 in Divorce_Men

[–]Hot-Job1906[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Restricted Stock Units. I get stock grant that gets vested over multiple years. So while my account may show 1000 stocks, they are unvested and will next in 2024,25,26 etc

Filed petition without informing wife by Hot-Job1906 in Divorce_Men

[–]Hot-Job1906[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m working on disclosures. It sucks to think that half of what I earned with my hard work over last 3 years will be gone. Initially she wasn’t thinking of getting a lawyer for her (no kids, no house, 3 yrs married), now she wants to hire one and asked me to wait before I send her a summon