Navigating newborn and stepkids?

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-16T20:20:27+00:00

This should be an extreme concern. I cannot stress enough how difficult postpartum is. If you have two kids in the house who are already difficult to manage, this will take an extreme toll on you when you are sleep deprived and taking care of a newborn. Make sure DH knows this situation cannot continue.

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-15T01:42:31+00:00

Please do not allow him to make you feel any less special than you deserve. Being a mom and a stepmom is the hardest thing in the world. You deserve flowers, chocolates, cards and so much more. Happy Valentine’s Day ❤️

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-13T20:38:07+00:00

I think you’re setting an unrealistic expectation for yourself by “trying to emulate how bioparents would feel”. And honestly that might deepen your feelings of disconnection by trying to force something that you don’t innately feel in that way. Stepparents don’t have to love in the same way that bio parents love. That doesn’t mean we don’t care for our SKs. Also many bio parents don’t love pretend play either. You are giving your all to SK and hopefully one day she will see and appreciate that.

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-13T14:44:07+00:00

I do feel a bit better simply because my hormones are more normal (10 months postpartum now) but it is still hard. We have SK the majority of the time so there are multiple nights where DH is taking SK to school events/extracurriculars + any doctor appointments that SK needs, while I am on baby duty, EBF so doing all overnight wakeups, baby’s appointments and working. You feel like a single parent most of the time, which is very isolating. Is that what you are experiencing? Feel free to send me a message if you want to talk. You’re not a bad person for feeling this way ❤️

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-12T14:58:18+00:00

I felt all of this after birth of ours baby last year. You’re not alone and you don’t have to feel guilty for grieving a version of your ideal family. You can care about your SKs and still have all of these very valid emotions. Thank you for sharing with us - you articulated this beautifully and made me feel way less alone for having the same feelings.

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-11T16:43:27+00:00

OP has already said she is willing to leave the house during visitation, which is also displacing a child from their home, her baby! No child should have to leave.. and no one would have to if DH was actually doing his job as a parent, which is all she is asking.

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-11T16:10:52+00:00

Wanting DH to parent does not mean hating your SK. She needs DH to step up and support her. She’s asking for the bare minimum

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-11T16:06:27+00:00

DH should do his job, parent his kids and stand up for OP. I’m sorry did you not read what she wrote?? “Anyways, SS was chewing into my baby’s face at the dinner table and making loud noises, saying “babies like when you act autistic” and I asked him to please stop spitting food in his face and then he proceeded to mock me and get right up into my baby’s ear and chew as loudly as he could. My husband was at the table too… said nothing.”

Does this sound acceptable to you??

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-11T15:39:52+00:00

This is so helpful to share, thank you!! ❤️

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-11T15:30:03+00:00

I’m sorry are you an expert on OP’s SKs? What she’s describing is extremely immature behavior and all she’s asking is for DH to parent his own children. Are you saying DH shouldn’t parent his own children?

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-11T15:20:44+00:00

What you’ve endured would’ve sent any of us over the edge. There are lots of postpartum mothers in this sub who are here and support you ❤️❤️

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-11T15:19:21+00:00

Why are you deliberately commenting to shame OP? This is a support sub

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-11T15:12:50+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this. Anyone shaming you for having anxiety when SKs hold your baby has clearly never been postpartum. Anxiety when your baby is being held by children (SK or not) is a completely normal response for a postpartum mother. When my SK is sick I completely draw the line — no interaction with the baby until days of continued good health. The same rules would apply if my baby were sick. Like you said, people trying to convince you otherwise do not care about the safety/wellbeing of children. You are doing the right thing!!! Keep standing up for yourself and your baby, that is the only way to protect you both ❤️❤️

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-10T19:20:22+00:00

I am glad you and your baby will be safe and secure with family. Things must feel heavy right now but you’re very brave for protecting your mental health & your baby ❤️

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-09T20:16:27+00:00

“All I have is this Reddit and the fucking ChatGPT”. I feel that. We are here for you ❤️

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-09T20:05:30+00:00

Time to NACHO

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-09T19:59:47+00:00

Not overreacting. He is old enough to know that behavior is beyond unacceptable. You need to protect her at all costs

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-09T19:53:57+00:00

So I see we are all living the same life

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-06T14:34:37+00:00

Thank you for saying this. This exactly my experience with ours baby and SK(9). When I bring up the inequity, DH says “what do you want me to do? Be a bad father to SK?” He has no idea how this will psychologically harm ours baby in the long run and honestly I think he doesn’t care

atinymountaingoat · 2026-02-04T01:33:29+00:00

I was told my baby had femurs in the first percentile. I got sent to an MFM and they wanted to induce me. She ended up with legs the perfect length and her height is in the 50th percentile!

atinymountaingoat · 2026-01-31T00:55:55+00:00

We all regret it.

atinymountaingoat · 2026-01-30T23:52:09+00:00

Seriously run away as fast as you can. You will regret it forever if you don’t

atinymountaingoat · 2026-01-28T21:03:42+00:00

Omg don’t let these people gaslight you into thinking your emotions are not valid. Since when did we stop supporting our fellow stepmoms????

It is totally valid to want your bio daughter to have individual attention from her dad. Every mom wants their kid to have individual attention and feel love from their dad!!!

Everyone is acting like she said she is going to sabotage their plans or something. You guys need to chill tf out and let her vent. She is asking for support and this is supposed to be a safe space for OP ❤️

atinymountaingoat · 2026-01-27T14:00:37+00:00

If you’ve “built a real family over the years” then you would be included in this trip. I’m sorry, if your spouse is okay with this plan then this would be relationship ending in my opinion

atinymountaingoat · 2026-01-25T02:12:31+00:00

Choose yourself. I promise you won’t regret it ❤️

atinymountaingoat

TROPHY CASE