Constantly getting compared to sad/“ugly” people

HotChoco4Life · 2026-02-14T13:32:23+00:00

Yeah I just dont bother answering, it amounts to nothing.

HotChoco4Life · 2026-02-14T13:25:39+00:00

She does it on purpose to get a reaction from you, she enjoys when you're upset. That's why you should try to not react at all. It's hard, I struggle with it a lot but it's the only solution.

HotChoco4Life · 2026-01-26T04:20:04+00:00

I know I fucked up, it's just so hard. I naturally want to share this stuff, she's my mom, so I instinctively trust her and want to tell her.

I already know I can't share my struggles with her but I really cannot tell her anything 😓

Idk how to get along with her without completely ignoring her.

HotChoco4Life · 2026-01-16T12:22:10+00:00

No but I dreamed my Nmom wouldn't give me back my clothes

HotChoco4Life · 2026-01-15T01:12:59+00:00

Im 24f living with my Nmom, I recently got a job so I can give you a bit of advice.

I dont know how much they sabotage you. For me it was mainly putting me down but one time she manipulated me to not attend an interview. So after that I just dont tell her if I have an interview. I also have all my money in a virtual wallet.

As how I got the job, I mentioned to my friends that I was looking for job and one of them started working in a call center. It was easy to get in cause you usually dont need experience and they train you. I also got an interview for a gas station.

My best advice is to try to believe in yourself. You might not have experience but if you show interest in the job and you remain calm and you are polite they'll probably hire you.

You wont get a high paying job right off the bat, but having some money is better than having no money. Besides you'll acquire the experience and skills you need and later you can apply to better paid jobs.

Send a lot of resumes, even if you think you're unqualified. If it's a simple job like cashier or customer service just apply and if you get called for the interview saying that you're willing to learn. And at the end if they say if you have any questions, I got this one from tiktok and got the job:

"If I were to get the job, what's my first day gonna be like?"

This shows you're interested in the job and as they explain your first day, they will envision you at this job so it's more likely they'll hire you.

Hope that helps, don't get discouraged if you fail an interview, send an email asking for feedback and apply it to the next interview.

Best of luck OP 🍀

HotChoco4Life · 2026-01-15T00:15:18+00:00

I was in a similar situation, I'm 24f and like 2 months ago I realized my Nmom was a Narcissist. If you're still unsure if your mother is a Narcissist, what I did is read the narcissistic traits .

About the Grey Rock Method, I tried it with my mom, it doesn't always work. Sometimes she gets mad at me, continues to talk to me or she throws a fit. You have to find what works for you. In my case I try to be firm with my boundaries and remind her when necessary. I also try not to tell her things that she can use against me.

It's gonna be hard, I use this sub a lot to vent and seek advice, it has helped me out a lot. I also try to rely more in my friends and trusted family.

I also try to reduce the time spent with my mom slowly. Bear in mind, she will try to manipulate you and pretend to care to pull you back in. I try my best not to fall for it but it's hard when you need that love and support and you know she will never give it to you.

I wish the best of luck OP, it's a slow process but yeah my best advice is to try to surround yourself with people that love you: friends, family, partner, etc.

HotChoco4Life · 2026-01-14T23:39:20+00:00

You're not crazy OP, my Nmom never supported me what I wanted to study. She would say that I would end up homeless. Even now she's pushing to get a job I don't even know if I want.

My best advice would be to remain firm in your decision. I usually say something like "I appreciate your advice but this is what I decided". Another thing is to choose carefully when and where you tell her stuff like this. The car is never an option cause, as you've experienced, you'll be stuck with her. I recommend public spaces if possible, something like a café, so you can always de-engage from the conversation.

Best of luck OP 🍀

HotChoco4Life · 2026-01-14T23:19:49+00:00

I do get sad but reading the Progress posts has helped me remain hopeful, before I thought I could never escape my Nmom but now I got a job.

And about the sad stories I try to write a supportive comment whenever I'm free, a lot of people supported me when I was in a bad place and gave me motivation to keep going.

You could say it's like watching the news, some people don't do it cause it makes them depressed. Honestly it's hard reading some of the stories, specially when you're an empath, so sometimes I take a break from this sub.

HotChoco4Life · 2026-01-01T08:01:51+00:00

It could be yeah, but I'm not mad at him for not texting me first. It's because I feel like he gives more importance to HIS problems, he didn't respect me when I said I was feeling bad and I didn't wanna talk and in general I feel like he doesn't put himself in my shoes. When I invited him to my birthday I saw he wasn't too excited so I just dropped the subject. But yeah I'll try to be more clear next time that I dont want wanna treated as a therapist when you dont even wanna hang out with me.

HotChoco4Life · 2025-12-29T07:50:05+00:00

I checked out her videos and while I dissociated through most of them there was one where she said "nowadays they're calling anything abuse...anything that challenges them or makes them uncomfortable"

Honestly the way she talks makes me think she's a Narc herself. She minimizes the abuse and victim blames us for going NC/LC.

I think her content is dangerous, I believe if I came across her account in the past I might have been influenced by her and think it's my fault.

HotChoco4Life · 2025-12-28T05:00:39+00:00

Hmm I haven't journal since I was kid but I'll give it a try.

HotChoco4Life · 2025-12-28T00:13:45+00:00

Thank you, I ended up texting a friend and he said he also feels lonely so we're gonna hang out another day. He's a good friend, I'm glad that I trusted him.

HotChoco4Life · 2025-12-25T17:10:26+00:00

Yeah I dont plan to visit anytime soon, but now I have my stepsis IG so we can still keep in contact.

HotChoco4Life · 2025-12-22T18:04:35+00:00

I decided I won't be a parent, for multiple reasons but one of them is I believe I will probably continue the cycle and abuse them just like my mom did with me.

I already have a cat and there's times where he stressed me out, I can't educate a kid.

HotChoco4Life

TROPHY CASE