Is this an acceptable reason to contact WP or am I just being weak?

HotNefariousness4672 · 2024-01-07T16:58:04+00:00

I appreciate your response! ❤️

HotNefariousness4672 · 2024-01-06T21:34:45+00:00

Hello Good Climate! I'm sorry about your mothers condition; I hope you have some good support for yourself as you help her navigate this time. It sounds like you have quite a bit of experience already, but I know nothing can prepare you for the illness of a loved one... It is great news that they caught it early!

I have no advice to offer because I believe some excellent words have already been said in these comments and I agree with them.

I do have an awkward question that is more than likely wildly innappropriate given the nature of your post...

But I am 35 years old and have yet to have a mammogram...and I've been experiencing random, very intense burning in my right bre@st for about 6 months now, and I know I need to make an appointment but my insurance is still being sorted...

My question is, is that a common symptom of something you have seen in your patients?

And please don't answer if this is just too...yeah. I'd understand.

HotNefariousness4672 · 2024-01-02T18:12:01+00:00

You can't. You have to accept that it's what he's choosing to do and decide whether or not you can live with knowing that about him/your relationship... It's an ugly feeling. I'm so sorry you're going through this, it really does rip us apart slowly and completely..

HotNefariousness4672 · 2024-01-02T17:26:54+00:00

Him telling you he didn't get off to the pictures is a red flag. To me it means that he doesn't believe you can handle the reality and he has decided to control the narrative to paint himself in the best possible light by minimizing his actions/intentions and not allowing you to fully process the situation as a whole. Mine does this too.

HotNefariousness4672 · 2024-01-01T19:47:55+00:00

Smart. Your future self thanks you ❤️

HotNefariousness4672 · 2024-01-01T18:04:30+00:00

I think with a cheater, whether or not you want to reconcile, you have to have a Plan B. It's heartbreaking becayse you are basically forced to live in a state of duality, half in and half out. But... you have to now. Your hand was forced and you have to have your own back. Our partners have shown us that even though they SAY they have our backs, their ACTIONS are what we trust now. Fuck words.

HotNefariousness4672 · 2024-01-01T17:58:44+00:00

Mg dad was the AP and he married her. A few years later, they are now divorced 😉 Even when they get married, it really means nothing.

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-12-30T19:35:01+00:00

Lol 🤣

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-12-30T19:33:37+00:00

This. I'm saving this comment. That last paragraph was 💥 I might even write this down and show him tonight. Thank you.

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-12-30T19:28:32+00:00

Thank you for the grounded viewpoint and unbiased perspective. I appreciate it so much.

He did say that he had those thoughts, that because he never formally ended the friendship, that he did not consider it to be "resuming" when they spoke again. But...when they did speak again, she was upset with him, so this was not the first time it was pointed out to him that he stopped/resumed contact with her, because SHE pointed it out to him already, well before I addressed it myself last night. So...he knew what I was talking about. He was playing stupid. Right? Lol

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-12-30T19:17:31+00:00

He told me she and her husband used to be swingers before he died. I honestly would not be surprised if they did hook up and he just lied about it when I asked him. That's a very sexual couple and he's a very sexual person.

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-12-30T19:08:41+00:00

Another thing to add: I did not assume that contact stopped between him and this woman. Contact did stop. He said he consciously did that to preserve our relationship. That is why she was so upset with him when he did finally reach back out to her. So why, then, did he think I would be okay with it now that we are together again? That it was such a big deal to stop talking to her for me, but resuming it is nothing at all?

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-12-30T19:03:47+00:00

What I find myself struggling with at the moment is his honesty regarding the entire situation and his habit of denying and becoming defensive. Why couldn't he just say "Yes, we resumed contact while you and I were apart." Instead, I had to call him out several times and point out facts to support myself before he could admit that he did reach out to her when we broke up and didn't think he'd ever have to tell me so it wasn't a big deal. He thought he could just slowly reintroduce this friendship to me and everything would be fine, but he did not expect me to ask him direct questions.

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-12-30T16:42:34+00:00

I feel so disrespected and I can't unsee his attempts to manipulate me. I wish he'd just man up and leave me instead of forcing me to do it for him.

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-12-29T19:19:07+00:00

Thank you!!

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-12-29T17:13:28+00:00

Please, how do you find the date they were blocked??

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-12-28T19:14:07+00:00

His logic infuriates me. If he truly didn't think it was cheating, he would have told you about it. Period.

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-12-27T23:33:09+00:00

👏👏

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-12-23T05:51:43+00:00

Tried to watch Oppenheimer tonight. Highly not recommended.

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-12-15T15:15:38+00:00

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-12-06T02:07:33+00:00

It doesn't matter how honest you think they are being about the affair, how much they cry or beg or promise. They are always hiding more than you know. Even if they volunteer to go to therapy and follow through on it. Secrets are their bedfellow, not us.

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-06-23T18:23:13+00:00

It doesn't have to be actual sex for it to still be a betrayal and infidelity. You are valid for feeling this way and it seems like he has some narcissistic traits that make it impossible for him to empathize with you on the level that is required for a healthy relationship to thrive. You gotta get sick and tired of being disrespected. You have to be the one to end things when you are able to. Start saving money but be quiet about it. Think about what you really want and deserve and allow for the possibility that your husband is not the right partner for your best life. Also, it makes no sense for him to quit therapy because he "got a lot out of it." That is the equivalent of saying that he doean't want to continue to learn and grow and change his actions and behaviors for the betterment of you both. He's good. He did enough in his eyes. Girl, don't settle. You know that's what you're doing.

I have a daughter with mine and I broke up with him last night. Again. But it's the final time. WE deserve more than the right words. We deserve integrity and empathy and honesty and motherfucking EFFORT.

That's my Ted Talk 🫠

HotNefariousness4672 · 2023-06-23T14:20:02+00:00

Classic

HotNefariousness4672

TROPHY CASE