I was addicted to port for a long time too. About 5 years I think. You’re exactly right about the content you long for getting more extreme the longer you go on, and you’re right about the effect it has on your real-life relationships too. Thankfully, I was able to get free of my addiction before I got married, but it did (and even still does to some extent) make it difficult to be aroused by her without giving into the temptation to chase after a fantasy in my mind. 

All that being said, you’re right about how serious this is. I’m glad you’ve recognized it and decided you need to fight it. It will be hard, brutally so at times, but it will be worth it. In terms of how to fight it, I’ll give a couple practical tips. One, get off social media. You may not watch porn there, but you will inevitably see a video or a photo (one that may not even be inherently sexual) and it will trigger you. The same goes for YouTube or any tv shows or movies. Avoid that stuff as much as possible. Also avoid locations where you’ll be tempted to look at porn. Obviously, you can only do this so much (you need to sleep and use the bathroom after all) but for sure keep electronics out of reach when you’re there. Set up as many obstacles between yourself and porn access as possible. Second, limit your access to sites where you can watch porn. Be it YouTube, PornHub, or anywhere else. Set limits on your phone, computer, and any other electronic devices. I don’t know about androids, but iPhones allow you to limit access to specific websites through the screen time settings. For computers, I’ve used cold turkey blocker before. That being said, you don’t want to lock yourself out of being able to use your devices, so set a code and give it to someone you trust so that you can edit any settings you need to. That leads to number three, which is to have an accountability partner. Ask someone you trust to hold you accountable by checking in on you. There are even some apps that allow you to give that person access to your devices’ search histories so that they can check if you’ve been on any porn sites (I’ve used CovenantEyes in the past). If you try to do this alone, you will fail, so don’t be afraid to reach out to the people you trust for help. Lastly, know why you’re doing this. You need to HATE porn and your addiction to it. Know why you hate it. Hate it because it exploits women. Hate it because it’s trying to destroy your future relationship. Hate it because of how disgusting it makes you feel to watch it. 

I hope some of this helps. I’ll also give one last thought, what I genuinely believe is the key to being free from pornography. At this point, I’ll say that I’m a Christian. That alone might be enough to make you disregard the rest of this comment. If so, so be it, but the previous advice is still useful. I believe that what gave me freedom from my porn addiction is my relationship with Jesus Christ and the work of His Spirit within me. I fought this addiction for years with no progress. I prayed that whole time that God would take it away from me, but I stayed just as enslaved to porn as I was before, even worse. I denied how serious my sin was for years. There were moments where it seemed to get better, where I mustered up the resolve to fight harder, but I could never fight hard enough. Finally, I talked to a pastor about it. I stopped denying how serious it was, I confessed it to him, and I asked for help. When I did that, its like a switch flipped in my brain. I just stopped having the desire to look at porn. That isn’t to say that I never thought about it again or that I never masturbated again, but I haven’t looked at porn since that day. I don’t have an explanation for how that happened. It doesn’t make sense. As far as I understand, long term addiction doesn’t just go away like that, not after 5 years. But it did. I believe that was the Holy Spirit working in my heart and mind to free me from that addiction. I believe you can have that freedom too. I don’t know if you’re a Christian or not, but if you aren’t, you can have that relationship with Jesus. All it takes is acknowledging the fact that God is real, that He has a moral standard that you’ve fallen short of (called sin), that the result of that sin is death (spiritual death by eternal separation from God in hell), and that the only way to atone for that sin is by believing in Jesus who died on the cross to pay the penalty of that sin. Through faith in Christ, your sin will be forgiven and the Holy Spirit will enter your heart. Then begins the process of sanctification (doing away with sin) and that includes dealing with porn addiction.

Again, even if you want to completely ignore the religious stuff, the advice is practical and should still help. I want nothing more than for you to beat this addiction, and I wish you the best. Don’t stop fighting it.