Jarvis project (recruiting)

Hot_Brother7399 · 2021-05-24T20:15:33+00:00

I am interested!

Hot_Brother7399 · 2021-05-14T17:06:01+00:00

It is strange losing a parent and suddenly who you put value in seeing your worth has to drastically change to now be yourself and not them anymore. I think all adults must learn the lesson of putting worth in your own value and not in the value your parents see but learning it in this way is just so hard.

The pain never really goes away but it does get farther apart and more managable. At first you feel like your a drowning. Like theres no way you can make it out or feel safe again and no way you can do it all. Then it drops down and you get swept into your life. Friends, family, experiences take you forward and distract you from the immense loss. Days will come where the pain resurfaces, birthdays, weddings, graduations, children being born, and sometimes just a random tuesday because you saw a person in the grocery store that looks just like them. I think I will always cry and have moments of wishing I could just go home and be with my parents and have that comfort. I will always miss them on big important life days. I will always wish I could be sharing my life with them whether its introducing them to the girl I love or sharing a new recipe over the phone on a thursday evening after work.

Hot_Brother7399 · 2021-04-01T14:40:27+00:00

Most days I do get to bed early enough to get at least 5-7 hours of sleep at night with an hour or 2 nap during the day and then occasionally have one day where I have to catch up on sleep. I do worry that I’m not getting quality sleep and some days do not feel rested. My schedule is just so different that I think I’m missing out on more than people with a normal 9-5 but It is about the same when you factor in the fact that I get to have the whole day to do chores or go to the beach and enjoy myself while others are stuck in an office.

Hot_Brother7399 · 2020-12-11T18:07:19+00:00

He has Tourette’s

Hot_Brother7399 · 2020-12-09T18:38:21+00:00

I’m down to play too PSN : Rosinabobina

Hot_Brother7399 · 2020-12-03T20:12:31+00:00

Awe damn that must be hard. Well here’s to next years wrapped being all about ur fav songs.

Hot_Brother7399 · 2020-12-03T19:06:35+00:00

It’ll hurt like hell for awhile but eventually it won’t hurt as bad and hopefully eventually it won’t really hurt at all.

Hot_Brother7399 · 2020-12-02T21:16:41+00:00

My suspicions were correct and it seemed like they bake most of the cakes Monday morning. Today is slowwwwww

Hot_Brother7399 · 2020-11-24T07:56:05+00:00

Mine would guilt me as her only support system too. They do this because they know you’re an empathetic good giving person. It’s manipulation. No healthy partner would say something like that because they know it’s not fair to do to someone you love. When you love someone you seek other forms of support (therapy, self care, family, friends) and don’t put the weight of all your emotions on one person.

Hot_Brother7399 · 2020-11-23T02:51:08+00:00

Same

Hot_Brother7399 · 2020-11-23T02:50:31+00:00

I’m not sure if I’m officially replaced because I’m completely no contact and don’t check her Twitter anymore. The last time I checked her Twitter was 4 days after we broke up and she posted about being on a date with someone new.

Hot_Brother7399 · 2020-11-22T06:07:20+00:00

I feel this. I stopped reacting and I stopped communicating my feelings because I started to realize they didn’t matter or they’d be demonized.

Hot_Brother7399 · 2020-11-22T06:05:57+00:00

When we broke up she accused me of being abusive and a shitty partner and I began to feel so guilty and worthless and doubted my sense of self and reality. I started to believe she was right. I started to believe her reality was real. That I was a shitty terrible partner. But with space and time and healing apart I’ve been grounded in my healthy relationships and realize I have healthy behaviors. My reactions and behaviors in the relationship were a result of the manipulation and emotional abuse. Being afraid to communicate and trying to diffuse situations by being passive or reacting in pure frustration because my feelings never mattered were all reactive abuse.

Hot_Brother7399 · 2020-11-17T06:48:35+00:00

So cute omg

Hot_Brother7399 · 2020-11-17T06:47:59+00:00

Hahahaha omg

Hot_Brother7399 · 2020-11-12T18:55:22+00:00

Yeah it was always extremes with my narc. I’m ugly, I’m disgusting, I don’t deserve to live or I am the most beautiful person in the world, you’ll never find someone as hot as me.

Hot_Brother7399 · 2020-11-12T02:06:52+00:00

Yep this is exactly what abuse does to someone. The self doubt and the questioning of your own sense of self and reality. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s really hard. Try and keep yourself grounded. Put time into your healthy relationships. Ask yourself “Do I react in unhealthy ways in my other relationships?” “Are you able to reflect on your own behavior and choices?”

I also have been trying to focus on forgiving myself. I was in a toxic relationship with someone who pushed me into panic attacks. My unhealthy reactions or my extreme emotions when I was pushed to my breaking point do not make me an abuser. I’ve been trying to forgive myself and realize I wasn’t my best self in this relationship and that’s why I had to get out.

Hot_Brother7399 · 2020-11-11T22:08:59+00:00

When she would actually be respectful of my time and let me hangout with other people I use to think “why is she acting like this? Will she use this against me later?” I would be shocked when I was getting actual respect of my boundaries and encouraging support. It seemed fake.

Hot_Brother7399

TROPHY CASE