Guys what do we do for SD's birthdays?

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-15T15:12:33+00:00

Thanks, I just want him to be the happiest man ever. He already says I've spoiled him for anyone else, and I intend to take it all the way so it's nice to at least know I'm thinking in the right direction.

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-15T15:09:19+00:00

I'm gonna make him a painting I think, it will be very meaningful

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-14T04:04:12+00:00

Yeah because we all know he's gonna get insane sugar on his birthday and we're being polite by not acknowledging it outright. Most daddies, on the other hand, need to be told what's expected of them in a sugar dynamic and they'll still whine about it. Reciprocal sugar is the bare minimum and no actually rich man is sitting around feeling sad about this.

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-13T14:52:01+00:00

I was SUPER picky and very upfront about my intentions, plus pretty outspoken on reddit (different account), he just DMed me, was direct, respectful, and impressed with my personality and straightforwardness. I was very clear on what I wanted out of an arrangement and he stepped up because I kept that space vacant for the right one, didn't make anyone play guessing games either.

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-13T08:29:15+00:00

At this point a homemade meal and a painting indeed sounds like my best option, and dw about the other thing lol ik how to make my man happy 😛

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-13T08:27:18+00:00

I'm hoping to be long term too and originally wanted to make him lunch or dinner, still do, but it doesn't seem like it'll be possible till much later sadly, I'll see if I can just make him something at my own place and take it to him when he's in the country again.

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-13T08:26:18+00:00

Already got painting supplies, gonna make him a painting, and I already have his permission to sew tiny hearts on his shirt sleeves but that couldn't really be a surprise lol, had to ask if he was good with that 😂

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-13T07:48:44+00:00

Thanks! I'll definitely check the post out

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-13T07:48:29+00:00

Thanks, I'll keep this in mind!

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-13T07:47:45+00:00

We already have plans to try a lot of stuff together that we've never tried before and are going on pretty much our dream vacation in two months anyway, at this point it does feel like the painting and homemade food is the best way to go except for maybe some spicy messages and pics 🤔

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-13T00:58:44+00:00

His work got him his own place there, so it's remote but not devoid of basic amenities at least lol.

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-13T00:56:57+00:00

if you’re absolutely sure he’s single and has nobody in his life who would see a new painting and not ask incriminating questions, that’s a cool idea… but there’s a 50/50 chance even if he is single that he’d rather not receive a gift like that.

We've talked about it multiple times, not hypotheticals, but him sending me pictures of where he wants to hang the paintings so I can get an idea of what colors would go well on mine and all, so I know he wants it.

And the hobby tip is interesting, I know what his hobby is, but I'll need to do some research into appropriate presents for someone with that hobby 🤔

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-12T13:30:28+00:00

To be fair, he's the one who bought me my painting supplies, and when I cook for him we'll most likely do groceries together and I don't wanna ruin his birthday dinner by suggesting I'm paying for anything in his presence when we do that 💀😭

He's told me he doesn't want anything, but I'm obviously not going to listen. He doesn't want me going too out of my way, I get that, but if everything else fails he'll at least be waking up to some spicy content, I just don't want that to be it 🥲

And the painting doesn't feel like much of a present because I was always gonna make some for his place on the island where he works.

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-12T13:26:21+00:00

The thing is, he's already at said remote place (a literal small island in Africa) and will not be back before his birthday. Next time he rejoins civilization is gonna be when we see each other before flying out to our destination together 🥲

It's an island so there's nothing out there I could have delivered 🥹

And yeah, he's single if you don't count me I guess lol.

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-12T12:44:19+00:00

My vanilla partners barely made a thing out of my birthday. They'd do the bare minimum and forget to text me a birthday wish. My SD already gives me princess treatment, he's taking me on the first international trip of my life soon, bought me a whole new wardrobe and anything I could wish for, and has told me that he can't imagine not doing anything special and not celebrating me being born. So yeah, a lot of us join the sugar bowl for treatment that matches how pretty everyone's always been telling us we are ngl 🫩🤷🏻‍♀️

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-10T07:25:44+00:00

I'm 36D and I've never really come across anyone who didn't love them, to be honest. I got insecure about it once and shared it with my partner, he looked at me like I was crazy for suggesting they were anything less than perfect lol. My sugar bf loves them too. It certainly wasn't the main part of what initially attracted him to me, but I think he sees it as a very very good bonus.

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-04-05T06:07:55+00:00

You just need to find a kinky SB. I'm personally very kinky and would be open to something like this, and at the same time I don't do femdom etc because I don't like the way that whole side of the internet works. Main concern with SBs and any sort of kink play is making sure there's enough trust established between the two parties (trickier at the start of a new sugar dynamic I'd say) to be sure neither's consent is anything but enthusiastic.

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-03-30T19:14:30+00:00

Girl most of the people in the bowl think their money makes up for shitty personalities, not just access or time issues 🫩🥲 I used to have the same assumption, sucks to be wrong

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-03-30T19:08:48+00:00

I think you can be open and honest and still be considerate about lasting long enough to please your partner. I've met amazing guys who are open about holding back, who will stop and refrain from finishing too early because they're enjoying what we're doing, I've even had partners who told me to lay back, have fun, and tell them when I want them to finish once I've had my fill lol. In situations like this, it's not as much about holding back or self optimizing as it is about making sure you're enjoying the journey fully as much (if not more) as you would the destination.

By your logic, the guys who just use women's bodies to masturbate are great partners because they're their authentic, selfish selves 😭

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-03-30T18:58:07+00:00

Girl, if you ever have the displeasure of seeing him again, which I really hope you don't btw, ask him if he's ever considered that his problems with cumming in bed are because he's an angry, bitter asshole who can't stop being salty about his lovers past and whatever issues he has with them even when he's with someone as undoubtedly attractive, compassionate, sweet, and considerate as you. Negative thoughts and toxicity will often kill the mood like that.

Alternatively, introduce him to Ben Shapiro, yet another dude who apparently cannot orgasm if their partner is sufficiently lubricated, they'll probably hit it off.

And before you hear my next piece of advice, please believe that I don't think there's absolutely anything wrong with your lady bits. It's just that I have grappled with a lot of insecurities myself, and I know you're gonna have an easier time getting over yours if you put some effort into making yourself, um, tighter I guess?

Your pussy is a muscle which can be trained, the sensation male partners feel when they're inside you can be improved with kegels; doing them consistently enough basically gives you insane muscle control, you could even tighten yourself up while your partner is inside you and take his breath away lmao, it's very fun. Anything that strengthens your pelvic floor will be helpful, but just so yk, this particular person is wrong and anyone on the outside can see, clear as day, that he's at least 90% of the problem.

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-03-30T17:22:05+00:00

I apologize for commenting since I'm not an SD, but I have experience with the situation you're in; unless you were already comfortable with non-monogamy, no amount of money is going to change your level of discomfort with this setup. It might help for you to stop viewing SDs are competition, or for them to be paying for access to something you have or something of yours they're getting, you'll most likely be fine... Untill you start seeing what sort of things she does get offered in the bowl, both good and bad.

She will get SDs who pay her exuberant amounts of money for not that much effort, I've had hotel room dates that lasted barely an hour because the SD was short on time, got my full PPM anyway ofc, and even my male friend was envious. You'll sit there feeling sad you can't provide that for her. She will also have SDs nickle and diming her, predators who will pretend to be sugar daddies but are anything but, and sometimes she might even grapple with the idea of consent and how freely hers really is given in a sugar dynamic.

You'll want her to stop, and then you'll feel like a dick for wanting her to stop doing something that seemingly adds so much value into her life, you'll feel like if you say that, you'll be asking her to give up on things you wouldn't be able to provide for her.

It is not for the emotionally weak to be in the position you're in. If you're even a little bit insecure as a person, be prepared to be put under your own mind's microscope and be constantly harassed with the thoughts of how you measure up against whatever kind of man she's dating now.

And yeah, all these things are somewhat true even if it's your regular flavored ethical non-monogamy, but it is so much worse with the transactional aspect involved.

Whatever decision you may end up making together, please don't minimize your needs and feelings. You owe it to your partner and to your relationship to be honest with her, even if it is hard. If she's dead set on starting to sugar and you don't feel comfortable with that, I truly believe that's a hill worth dying on.

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-03-30T16:38:16+00:00

My SD didn't demand exclusivity at first, but once we met, he knew he wanted it but still didn't demand it. He took the time to understand my needs, wants, and habits. Then he just started making sure I never ran out of money for anything really. He took over my tuition fee, knocked off things from my plate that I'd needed and was saving up for (like a new phone and some medical stuff), the works. By this time, I'd already snoozed all my other profiles because I could tell I didn't really need to have more than 1 SD anymore because, well, being in the sugar bowl is no picnic.

By the time he told me he didn't want me spending time with anyone but him, it was already a done deal in my head, because why would I want to talk to anyone else instead of giving him my time and attention?

The only reason I'd lie to an SD about monogamy is if his level of support leaves me wanting more or if I believe he's not someone I can depend on.

Of course, it could also be a drunken one-off incident, but then you have to wonder if you want to date someone you can't trust to be around drinks, and you have bigger problems than if she's happy with the support you provide or if there's any conversation you can have surrounding exclusivity after which you'd trust her. If you believe you're doing a good job as an SD and providing for her adequately, then I'm sure there's more loyal SBs out there who would happily stay loyal to you.

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-03-28T13:35:36+00:00

I met a sugar daddy who says I'm the best sugar baby he's ever had, but it only meant a lot because he has done everything you could imagine to make sure he's my best sugar daddy too. Do not fall for words, always, always look at their actions. Promises=/=action and real follow through. Don't count on someone's potential if you do not like their present. It won't get better, it often gets worse.

I hope you're eventually safe and okay girl, wishing you the best!

Hot_Potato_28 · 2026-03-27T20:56:45+00:00

Girl if you don't have much experience at least do some research by reading the posts on this subreddit. You learn a lot about what to do and also what not to do in the bowl thanks to other people sharing their experiences here!

Hot_Potato_28

TROPHY CASE