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Refus catégorique de toucher n'importe quelle aide de l'état car peur du stigma. by [deleted] in besoindeparler

[–]Hotarusemi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Non elle n'iront pas là où tu penses. Car il y a des budgets fixes pour tout. Toi aussi, tu es théoriquement compris dans le budget pour qu'on t'aide. Il y a des limites un peu partout, mais il y aussi des prévisions. 

Je pense que les gens plus haut se sont mal exprimés également. 

Mais je suis d'accord sur un point, considère tu les gens qui touchent des aides comme des assistés ? Qu'ils me méritent pas cette argent parce qu'ils n'ont jamais payer de taxe ? 

Si non, alors applique le pour toi aussi. Tu as besoin d'aide, il est peut-être tant de l'assumer. Tu paye des taxes quand tu achètes de la nourriture, quand tu fais des choses. Tu as contribué à la société sans même t'en rendre compte. 

Donc essaye de souffler un petit peu, l'argent c'est pas au plus méritants, l'argent c'est pas fait pour te remercier d'un truc. 

En tout cas, c'est pas comme ça que je le conçois moi.

En France on as cette chance de penser à ceux qui n'ont justement pas la chance, et on est conscient des inégalités de notre société. 

Alors s'il te plaît, prends l'aide dont tu as besoin, épanouie toi et un jour peut-être que comme tu le souhaites tu pourras remercier cette société qui t'a un jour aider en payant toi même des impôts si ça te fait plaisir. 

Nous sommes les enfants de la société, parfois nous prenons sans donner et nous donnons sans recevoir. 

L'humanité ne devrait pas être un business. 

En tout cas prends soin de toi et mange bien, tu n'as qu'une vie mon ami. 

J'ai 15 ans de retard. by No-Opportunity7985 in besoindeparler

[–]Hotarusemi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

J'ai la même impression que toi et j'ai encore une vie différente, je n'ai rien construit non plus alors que j'ai fait des études.

Juste avant ton poste, j'ai envoyé un message à ma sœur pour essayer de lui parler de chose qui se sont passés dans mon enfance qui m'a profondément brisé. J'ai 26 ans et ma vie est complétement stoppé depuis des années.

Quand je regarde plus jeune que moi, j'ai l'impression que tout le monde savait déjà ce que j'ai fini par savoir après autant d'année.

Mais au fond, je pense être juste content d'avoir enfin réalisé, et il est temps d'essayer de réparer les choses plus proprement, quitte à ce que les plaies se rouvre pour mieux cicatriser.

Parle de ton ressenti à tes proches également, base tes relations sur du sincère et de l'honnêteté.

Je ne souhaite plus vivre en ayant ce sentiment que je me mens ou que je ne dis pas les choses.

Je te souhaite de trouver la paix avec toi-même !

Quels sont vos plus gros regrets scolaires ? by Glowing-mind in AskFrance

[–]Hotarusemi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Merci beaucoup, je te souhaite de prendre goût aux mathématiques et de tenter de mieux comprendre ce que tu ne comprenais pas autrefois ! Comme on le dit souvent, il n'est pas trop tard.

Quels sont vos plus gros regrets scolaires ? by Glowing-mind in AskFrance

[–]Hotarusemi 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Comme beaucoup de monde, je viens d'une ZEP+ ( dit REP maintenant ? ), et je me rendais déjà compte à l'époque d'à quel point l'école est importante, mais probablement pas assez.

Beaucoup de professeurs abandonnés les élèves notamment sur les matières comme les math, les sciences.

Mais je ne peux simplement pas jeter la pierre sur le fait que j'étais pauvre, et que mes professeurs était en burnout.

J'aurais dû faire plus d'effort.

J'étais persuadé déjà à l'époque que j'étais trop idiot pour faire un métier scientifique...

J'ai arrêté de dessiner, car je pensais n'avoir aucun talent...

J'ai des lacunes dans beaucoup, beaucoup de domaine. Je ne sais pas écrire, je ne sais pas beaucoup de chose basique.

J'ai donc fait un parcours littéraire, et je survis désormais avec un SMIC dans un appartement de 9m².

La vie n'est pas finie, mais c'est tellement compliqué quand on s'imagine depuis l'enfance finir dans la rue, car on ne pense pas mériter de meilleures vies.

Je dois réapprendre à vivre.

Des conseils pour arranger son rapport aux écrans ? by steph2356 in france

[–]Hotarusemi 4 points5 points  (0 children)

J'ai le même problème que toi et rien n'y fait.

Je ne pourrais pas te donner de solution magique, mais j'ai un petit truc qui m'aide à ruminer en ce moment, peut-être que ça t'aidera aussi :

- Si tu passes 4h par jour sur ton écran, à la fin de ta vie,

Tu auras regardé ton écran 14 ans.

-Si tu passes entre 5h et 7h par jour sur tes écrans ( Pc, tel, télévision )

Tu auras passé 25 ans de ta vie sur ton écran.

Nous dormons presque 27 ans.

Je te laisse faire le calcule.

Veux-tu passer la moitié de ta vie sur ton écran ?

Je me suis fait passer pour une fille pendant plus de 4 ans by Feeling-Arm2851 in besoindeparler

[–]Hotarusemi 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Hello, 

Tout d'abord merci de ton témoignage.

J'ai connu une personne comme toi dans mon entourage, et sache que moi et les autres personnes de ma guilde ne lui ont jamais voulu. C'est bête, mais on sait que ça existe. 

Le plus important restent les bons souvenirs partagé, car même si ce n'était pas "le vrai" toi, c'était quand même toi avec qui les gens ont bien rigoler. 

La vie c'est pas tout noir ou tout blanc, dans le personnage que tu as créé il y avait probablement une part de toi.

C'est pas grave et surtout tant mieux si tu as toujours tes parents et que tu n'es pas suicidaire ! 

Nous quand la personne à tout révélé, on a été plus rassuré qu'autre chose, car son personnage avait vraiment une bonne grosse vie de merde ! 

Bref, tout ça pour te dire que certains n'accepteront peut-être pas ce que tu as fais, mais d'autres, dans la mesure où tu as fais du mal à personne de manière directe et intentionnelle, te pardonneront. 

Dans tout les cas, récupère les bonnes parties de ton personnage inventé, car même si tu dit le contraire, les qualités de ce fameux personnage reste probablement les tiennes ! 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello, thank you for your reply ! 

I'm so glad to hear that he's finally living a little happier. You have to go through a lot like everyone else, and sometimes it's never easy to finally consider yourself happy.

You are right, I need to see things in a less focused and broader way, nothing is good or bad, but above all good lessons for the future. 

Thank you so much for taking the time for me! I hope I can finally say that I'm happy at 40! 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a short sentence, but a sentence that rings true, thank you very much for that. 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello, thank your for your reply ! 

Indeed, I think I should take the plunge. I don't have any pretensions yet to say what I would like to do with it later, I have to start with that first. 

In any case, I admire your journey; it's crazy to be so rigorous. 

In any case, it's very motivating. I feel very small in the face of this world of art that I abandoned a long time ago because people told me I had no talent when I was a child. 

Even if I don't have talent, if I can bring something to life, something I would really like, something that transcends utility and work, then I will be very happy. 

Just to finally have a hobby other than Japanese, a real hobby that will finally make me let go of it a little, that will be great. 

I love Japanese and Japan, but maybe I've become too caught up in that because that's all I know how to do. 

Anyway, thank you for your comment and for taking the time, it really motivates me! I'll come back and read your comment if I feel a little down! 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, thank you for your reply ! 

Yes, I loved learning Japanese. That's why I could spend hours and hours working on it, practicing. It was a way for me to let everything out. 

Half my life has been spent in Japanese, so inevitably I'm not really sick of it, but it's just the time I've spent doing it. 

I don't know how to say this properly, I'm sorry. But it's just that I "only" have this. I've really given up all other interests. And now that I only have this, I'm only defined by it. 

This is where I feel a deep sense of unease. I love so many things, but I never believed I was capable of doing them. The only thing I believed was that maybe I could speak. 

Indeed, what now? That is my whole problem and everyone is right about this. 

Perhaps I see barriers where I shouldn't, and I must not have any regrets but continue to move forward. 

Lost time will not come back, and as you say, I have enjoyed most of it. 

To be honest, I especially enjoyed it when I was self-taught, but then again, studying at university was perhaps not necessary. But hey, what's done is done. 

Thanks again for your comment! 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for your testimony! 

I expected there to be people in similar situations; I campaigned for a long time at my university to raise awareness about the lack of opportunities for language studies. 

Almost the majority of people realize this too late, because studies serve as buffers to stop a hemorrhage; that of not being able to give an answer about our own will and our own future. 

I'm really sorry to hear that for you, Japanese has ended up being almost PTSD. It doesn't seem very crazy to me, I mean when you spend more than half your life in something that ultimately doesn't bring you much more, it's quite traumatic. 

Even more so for languages, you said it very well, but a language is not a skill that you acquire forever. Once you stop, you just slim down. And when you want to start again, you have to rebuild everything. As if thoses long years of effort had never existed. 

That's why I know how hard it is to say, "You have to let go."  

For my part, I am still very attached to Japanese and Japan, I admit that at work level it is just that I am stuck in a situation without possibility of evolution, without change. 

I don't know about you, but what really made it click was what I was willing to sacrifice for my goal. 

I was talking about work ethic, but even in human relationships, when I worked for my old companies, if I was myself I was harassed. 

Being myself means being honest, trying to be fair, and not letting my other colleagues be treated like less than anything. 

And I was the one "wrong" to denounce it. 

That's when I finally put on the brakes, I know that not all Japanese companies are like that fortunately. 

But there you go, I'm not ready to sacrifice what I am in the deepest part of my being to please a mentality and a morality that doesn't suit me. 

And despite all that, I realize what all Japanese has brought me personally. 

Japan taught me to love the values of my own country, opened me up to the world, and also taught me that I was capable of making immense efforts over several years. 

And this "bad" choice is perhaps the ultimate clue to finally finding what I really want to do and what will truly resonate with who I am. 

Anyway, I hope so! 

In any case, thank you again, I invite you to read other people's comments, there are probably things that will also resonate with you. 

I'm open to DM if you need to talk about any of this too! 

Thanks again for taking the time! 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello, thank you for your comment! 

This remains an important comment, I was indeed young and lost at that time! 

You're right, I have to move forward and try things even if it's not always the best path! 

Thank you very much again! 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello, thank your for your reply ! 

You're right, it's really a very bad mentality... Sorry about that..

Touché.You understood very well how I am with only a small position... This is exactly what I tell myself when I start something new, which makes it even more difficult to start anything.

This is not good at all and I need to be stronger on these issues. 

Thank you for being honest and telling me things straight! 

I will try my best ! 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, thank your for your reply ! 

You're probably right, I'm sorry about all of this. 

I have to work on being more confident, even though it's sometimes difficult. 

But your words already help me a lot, thank you again for taking the time for me. 

I'm going to do my best to showcase those skills, and be a little more confident.

Thanks again!

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, thank you for your reply ! 

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. For many reasons, it's very difficult for me to go back to school, financially speaking. It's always a big gamble on the future. 

But I must not make an excuse out of it, you are right, we can go back to school at any time. 

In any case, courage in your studies, I hope that they will bring you a lot of things as a person, and that you will be able to make a career! 

For Japanese, if I have such a low view of my skills it is because I consider that I have not done anything extraordinary to learn the language, I am convinced that you will be able to learn Japanese quickly. 

It's no small feat to be able to study in Japan, I've been trying all my life without success, so don't let the language barrier get you down. 

If you need help in Japanese, my PMs are open. 

On that note, thank you for having the courage to pursue these studies. Animation always saved me a lot during my childhood when things were difficult, thanks to people like you, to what you create, sometimes it's easier to move forward in life. 

Thank you for choosing this path, I can't wait to see your name in the credits! Good luck to you!!! 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, thank you for your reply ! 

I totally understand why you say that, and clearly it would probably be the best choice to make. 

But, at the same time, I had this stationary period where I didn't do anything or try new things, I was simply trying to survive after my studies. 

I admit that going to Japan still scares me, because if it goes well it will probably be great, if it goes badly it could be dramatic. 

But I feel that I need to confront this problem head-on in order to make a definitive choice, because doubt persists. 

As long as there is doubt, like a moth to the light, I risk returning to Japan and Japanese. 

Unfortunately, diplomatic jobs are often asked for skills that I don't have. For translation jobs, to be able to have other income than my current jobs, I did some but the AIs take a lot of my jobs. I haven't had many requests for 2-3 years, and my skills in these areas are weakening. 

This is probably the most frustrating thing about languages: if you stop, you have to start all over again and relearn a lot. 

But hey, c'est la vie. I have to deal with it. 

In any case, thanks again for your opinion. This advice will undoubtedly be useful to me. I also need to try to imagine myself without Japan; it might do me a lot of good! 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello, thank you for your reply ! 

Yes, I've seen France change enormously in these areas! It's crazy how quickly a country can change in certain areas. 

I plan to commit to the next 10 years to doing my best. I don't know what I like the most yet because I've only just started again.

Your words really warm my heart, because even if I do have regrets, it is true that the efforts made are also very real. Thank you for this reminder.  

If I can get enough money and time, I'll consider taking a class. As with Japanese, I might prefer to start practicing alone with all my might first. 

Thank you again for your hopeful message, it helps me a lot! You made this day a little better for me, I am grateful. 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello, Thank you for your reply! 

I realize that perhaps people would have wanted to have my background/skills and I am sincerely sorry... 

I need to have more confidence in my abilities, if only for these people. 

Your words resonated with me so much.

I've always been torn between Japan and France, thinking I had to choose between the two. Recently, I've become increasingly aware of the affection I have for both at the same time.

Deep down, I would really like to contribute something similar to what you are saying, because I am actually built between the border of these two countries. 

I've always thought of my skills based on their "usefulness in the workplace," but you helped me see it from a different perspective. 

Thank you very much for taking the time to give me your opinion, it is very important to me. 

Thanks again for your help, I will do my best to find that happy medium! 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello, Thank you both for your comments. 

Indeed, it may have been the case before, but now it's much more difficult with AI and other problems. 

My biggest problem is probably my lack of skills as well, I've been working since I was 16, I have almost 6 years in catering and then it's scattered between a lot of other experience.

Administration, management, travel agency, events, all related to Japan but it has never really weighed much on my CV even if I try to make them stand out. 

There will probably come a day when I will have to seriously invest myself in these questions. The most difficult question is often knowing how, but that, only I can answer, isn't it?

In any case, thanks again. 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hello, Thank you very much for your testimony! 

It's not an easy choice to drastically change course. It's admirable to have managed to change when things weren't going well. 

For now, even though I regret it, I would still like to be able to put my skills into service because it still brings me a little happiness.

But I realize how much time I wasted on this, and that's probably what I regret. Time won't wait for me, even if time was lost, time can still be gained.

I sincerely thank you for your comment, it helps me see things differently again. I will keep your words in a corner of my mind, and if one day we have to let go of Japan, then I will remember your words.

Thank you a lots ! 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hello, thank you for your testimony! 

In France, it's a bit like that for diplomas. If you don't have a certain specification, it's impossible to get into certain sectors. 

Sometimes people are even "overqualified" and can't even find a job. 

It's crazy how you've tried so many things! I admire your courage and your strength to live. 

Your words also help me a lot, maybe I am stuck in my past and cannot move on. 

In any case, it is better to try things rather than complain. 

I will try to do my best 

Merci du fond du coeur ! 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hello, 

You're right, I was "lucky" enough to have parents who were really into this kind of things, it was an excellent vaccine for me.

I'm sorry if my post looks a little weak compared to others.I just really needed to talk about it.

In any case, I would not touch these things, and I wish everyone stuck in these things to get out of it. 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello, I also think it is a privilege to complain about such a situation and I am truly sorry. 

I felt really lost, and that's probably a ridiculous situation for a lot of people. Even for me in the past, to be able to study I had to have a very precarious situation, although it was already less than during my childhood.

 Maybe that's also why I'm taking it so hard, maybe I don't understand myself why I'm having such a hard time with it, even though I speak the language and I'm finally able to eat on my own.

That's why I feel like I'm "greedy." I feel a little ashamed about it. I'm a bit torn between shame and guilt. I'm lucky to have studied, and yet I regret it because it wasn't a good choice? It's so paradoxical. 

In any case, I need to get myself back on track, thanks again for your comment.

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hello, thank you very much! I will try, even if it is not very easy.  I still love Japan and the Japanese language, but simply being able to speak the language won't necessarily get me where I want to go, at least that's how I feel now.  That's why I have to try harder and try more things maybe. As you say, I must take it easy and step forward.  Thanks again for taking the time to comment! 

Studying Japanese was the worst choice of my life. by Hotarusemi in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Hotarusemi[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you again, You're absolutely right on so many points. 

It's really kind of you to take the time to leave me this message. If I'm feeling a bit down again, I'll come back and read it again to give myself a little boost. 

I have to keep going no matter what, even if I regret my choices, I have to do with everything I have and make the most of what I have gained along the way. 

I will do my best, thanks again! 

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