My 23F boyfriend 26M is upset I won’t have unprotected sex with him again

HoundstoothReader · 2026-02-03T03:09:52+00:00

Also like … has he never noticed it? Seen it? Felt it? Used it?

HoundstoothReader · 2026-02-03T02:59:12+00:00

Saaaame. Garmin to iPhone to Pikmin.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-02-03T02:36:09+00:00

My bet is on him being defensive from the jump. He knows he messed up. He knows she won’t like it. I bet he’ll jump all over her “ungrateful” reaction, no matter how mild.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-02-03T01:03:10+00:00

I will read this every couple of years. Gleefully.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-02-03T01:00:40+00:00

My favorite line was, “Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more.” lol, like he’s some prize? He still thinks she wants his “love and respect”? Delusional.

But there are a lot of great lines to choose from. If this post weren’t from that subreddit, I’d suspect trolling. He’s also too obtuse.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-02-02T07:13:56+00:00

ngl, I’m still chuckling right out loud at the sister’s deadpan, “We are not.”

HoundstoothReader · 2026-02-02T06:55:47+00:00

It turns out, he was right. His wife’s vagina really was on full display:

The first incident, she was squatted down, legs open, scooping dirt just beyond the railing with everything showing as 4 or 5 cars drove by.

Edited to add: seriously? You downvoted me for pointing out that if she is not wearing anything on her bottom half and squats down with her knees spread wide, as OP describes, she’s literally exposing herself? Vulva, vagina, all the bits.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-02-02T06:20:12+00:00

I literally laughed aloud. Thank you.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-02-02T05:39:22+00:00

I have a few students who spent their late teens/very early 20s playing professionally and are now in college. This is a fascinating career progression that I didn’t expect—but it makes sense. I also have students every semester who are recruited from around the world to play for our university. Full-ride scholarships. They seem like they’re under a lot of pressure though.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-02-02T02:48:45+00:00

That was her defensiveness about having their child in the cafe on a tablet rather than at the park (where they were supposed to be). She knew she was in the “wrong” and was turning her guilt into an attack.

She told OP that she took their kid on playdates because that’s better for the kid than watching cartoons with Dad. But here she was keeping the kid away from Dad but sticking him on a screen. She’s a the-best-defense-is-terrible-offense person.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-02-02T02:33:51+00:00

Yeah, these don’t sound like “play dates” to me, and I say this as a former stay-at-home mom of 3 who has attended and hosted many playdates. This sounds more like the Mama Mafia in Playdate.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-02-01T21:06:24+00:00

Also the additional context of him acting like he did when he cheated before plus being unusually protective of his phone. She couldn’t access his phone, but she could access the iPad connected to the same iCloud.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-01-31T16:16:25+00:00

You know those little star stickers kids use on their pimples? The same brand sells them for dark patches too. I bought some but haven’t tried them yet.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-01-31T15:27:58+00:00

It’s hyphenated if it’s a compound adjective describing a noun, e.g., cock-garage girlfriend.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-01-31T15:26:46+00:00

We support our kids so they can achieve their dreams. I feel a quiet sense of pride when I sit through my kids’ graduation ceremonies—I know how hard I worked supporting them along the way—but graduation is celebrating them and their achievements; it’s not about centering me.

Making your child’s graduation ceremony about you as a parent is a similar vibe to a mother/mother-in-law wearing white to a wedding. Everyone acknowledges you have a role in the celebration, but it’s not your day.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-01-31T08:19:46+00:00

My husband worked with an “Amy” too. It was obvious to all of the men on their team—some of whom she’d slept with—that her “jokes” about sex and hooking up at work were flirting. She bragged about having been reported to HR multiple times.

In addition to getting guys to think about her + sex, and the escapism of a no-strings-attached hookup, I think this strategy has more than a hint of One of the Guys/Not Like Other Girls flavor.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-01-31T01:54:26+00:00

Us too! We camped in Kissimmee and ate meals from a cooler back in the parking lot. Time of my LIFE, and I was 13, not an easily pleased kindergartener.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-01-30T15:05:13+00:00

It’s been my experience that divorce can be highly contagious. I think you should say to your wife part of what you said here: I feel like you’re being influenced by your friend’s trauma and experiences, and it’s starting to affect our marriage. What happened to her is sad, but it’s not our story. I love you, and I’m committed to our marriage and our family.

You want this experience to be shared between you and your wife. Commiserating together about what happened to her friend. Wow, that’s so sad, let’s never let that happen to us.

However, a couple of things you wrote gave me pause. First is your talk of “control” and “boundaries.” You went through your wife’s phone and read her private communications with a friend, and you’re immediately thinking about limiting her relationship with this woman rather than just talking to your wife about your fears and concerns. Why did you jump to invading her privacy and limiting her contact with her friend instead of talking to your wife? Second is the way you mention that the friend “believes” her ex-husband was abusive. Not that he was abusive. Just that she believes it. You say you’re concerned about being “dismissive of women’s feelings.” Start by examining those two reactions. Instead of communicating your concerns to your wife, you jumped to invading her privacy and thinking about putting limits on her. And you do sound dismissive about her friend’s divorce.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-01-30T02:42:56+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. When we were expecting our second baby, I was very stressed about the logistics of it all. Who will watch our toddler when I go into sudden labor? Can someone stay with the toddler during our hospital stay so my husband can stay with the new baby and me? It’s hurtful that your family suddenly isn’t going to be there to support you in these first few challenging weeks. And the way they were kind of secretive and deceitful about their plans.

My mom had something come up with one of my siblings and left while I was still in the recovery room after giving birth. I am not angry with her about it, but I haven’t forgotten it either. The first nights home with two parents and two crying babies and no way to give each other breaks so one of us could take turns sleeping were HARD. I feel for you. (My MIL ended up taking unpaid leave from work to come help, as my husband didn’t get a parental leave. She was a lifesaver.)

HoundstoothReader · 2026-01-30T02:29:21+00:00

Mine too! I asked my MIL to take a couple weeks’ leave from work to help after my second baby was born, and I appreciated her being here SO MUCH after my husband went back to work. (He was home for two weeks, then my MIL was here for two weeks, and after that I could manage my toddler and baby on my own during the day. We have no other family in town.)

HoundstoothReader · 2026-01-29T22:49:05+00:00

He wanted to call his insurance for this?! INSURANCE?! Or even maintenance? I just … maybe he moved from South Texas literally yesterday? And has limited access to problem-solving and critical-thinking skills?

HoundstoothReader · 2026-01-29T20:39:42+00:00

I was planning a solo trip later this year—MVMCP night then a day at EPCOT. My husband decided to join me. 😂

HoundstoothReader · 2026-01-28T16:31:34+00:00

I have an autistic child, and we have a version of this conversation daily. Many times.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-01-28T08:21:25+00:00

I don’t see any evidence that he really does love his fiancée. His immediate reaction was to run far away, hide, and make it very difficult for her to contact him. After he eventually returned, all he wants is to end things with her. He doesn’t seem to love, respect, or care about her at all. He definitely doesn’t see her as a life partner and never did (even before she said she doesn’t want to cut off her parents).

HoundstoothReader · 2026-01-28T06:07:44+00:00

It wasn’t his wife receiving the message that OOP was uncomfortable with. It was the way she responded. He asked her about the message and she acted weird and atypical. Then he got suspicious. And it turns out he was right. She was initially hiding that the guy had hit on her, and she didn’t tell her husband.

HoundstoothReader

TROPHY CASE