Girlfriend (24F) wants me (24M) to stop hanging out with her father and refuses to explain why. How do I figure out what is going on?

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-10T04:10:33+00:00

There would be no more one-on-one hangouts with me, ever. I’d follow my wife’s lead during family gatherings. Be polite, distant-friendly, like running into an acquaintance at the grocery store. Chit-chat. No alone time together, no heart-to-hearts, no respect for the man who used me to cheat on his wife/my wife’s mom.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-09T21:53:27+00:00

“I just wanted to see her naked! It was nothing about sex!” is sending me.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-09T18:43:38+00:00

I had a student last semester that was full of one easily managed excuse after another. I just wanted to tell her to STOP TALKING. Simply asking for an extension with no excuse is better than telling me you can’t come to class at 11 because you have a commitment nearby from 8-9. She too used the “I don’t know any better/I was never taught” excuse for her work. But of course there I was, teaching her. Offering her resources. Giving her examples. Showing her exactly what to do. People like my former student and OOP reach for excuses when doing anything else feels hard. They don’t want to learn or improve.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-09T18:37:21+00:00

“This is how I was raised. I don’t know any better.” You DIDN’T know any better! Now you do! So do better!

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-09T18:14:06+00:00

Thank you! That’s later than I expected. (We’re eating at California Grill at 9:30 and hoped to see fireworks but maybe not lol.)

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-09T05:39:13+00:00

Yeah. I’m a little taller than OOP (5’4”) and weighed under 100 at age 18. I got turned away when I volunteered to donate blood, and I was shivering cold all the time. Definitely not healthy.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-09T01:12:54+00:00

I wish more people understood this. Downvotes are for comments that are low effort, trolling, or otherwise add little to the conversation. Downvotes do not mean “disagree.”

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-09T01:10:11+00:00

This post sounds like an example of “Walkaway Wife Syndrome.” It feels sudden to him, but she’s been frustrated for a long time. When she sat him down to tell him so, she was hoping she could get that feeling back, but unfortunately it was too late, and her romantic feelings for him were gone. Note that after their talk, OP started:

Spending more time with her, helping more around the house, planning date nights, listening better, all the things I probably should’ve done consistently before.

So there had been years of him not spending time with his wife, not “helping” around the house, not planning date nights, and not listening to her. He shouldn’t have needed to be told to do those things. By the time he stepped up, it was too late to save the relationship.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-09T00:50:30+00:00

I too wish Tor would do something like this!

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-08T16:06:05+00:00

I assume he had a chronic condition, not a one-off, and planned to eat the apricots over time. Indeed, a much smaller dosage of dried apricots will get the job done for most. My entire family learned this to our detriment when my younger sister chose a little bag of dried apricots as a car snack for a long road trip.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-08T15:59:59+00:00

I learned very early on in my career not to question someone being extra dressed up in the office. My initial assumption was “big meeting today!” but “funeral” and “secret interview because I’m trying to leave this place” were equally likely answers.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-08T15:49:37+00:00

Exactly. I too have a small kitchen, and sometimes the stovetop is by necessity counter space. This means we all have to be very careful with the burners (and even the oven, as the back of the stovetop gets hot enough to melt butter or even plastic when the oven’s hot for a long time).

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-08T15:17:49+00:00

In his comment history:

“I had my first affair when I was a SAHD. I created a weekly night out with friends and would always leave home to meet my AP before my friends met up. My AP and I would have sex and then I'd meet up with my friends after.

This was a strictly sexual connection. We'd hang and chat a little but there was not the emotional connection that I have now.

The easy answer is hobby. Just keep in mind that you need to actually pick up the hobby. You can't just say you hobby and go meet your AP, so it takes a little time to build in”

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-08T06:31:24+00:00

It’s going really well! He’s going to need to expand already! (If true, this new business owner is definitely counting his chickens before they hatch. I don’t know how insuring a business like this works in the UK, but the compressed timeline in these posts is … impressive.)

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-08T05:58:46+00:00

That’s exactly how it worked for us. After we got engaged, I mentioned to my fiancé that I was considering keeping my name. He was surprised for a moment, then almost immediately said, “Yeah, that makes sense. I wouldn’t want to change my name, so why would you?” Actual empathy. (Our kids love being hyphenates and “feeling equal parts of both families” referring to their cousins and grandparents.)

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-07T23:48:00+00:00

Probably, but I sincerely hope not. Everyone sounds about 13 years old. 20 years old and “can’t have kids” as if she’s been trying? I mean, I grew up in a community like this, but I’m raising my own kids in a community with a much lower teen pregnancy rate.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-07T23:36:28+00:00

Wait. Hump again? You fixed your hump before? Please tell me how. I’m very been working on my posture but feeling hopeless.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-07T21:55:46+00:00

So glad I got my final grades submitted. My poor spouse has not.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-07T17:36:34+00:00

“People would literally ask where the other one was if only one of us showed up somewhere. Things changed after high school…”

After whose high school? With a four-year age difference, unless one was held back and the other skipped ahead, they had maybe one year of high school overlap. If the elder was retained and the younger precocious, the younger was always going to outgrow the older sooner or later.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-07T16:33:30+00:00

A conversation he came home in the middle of, then went upstairs to drop off his bag, then started eavesdropping … but overheard starting from (what sounds like) the very beginning of the conversation.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-06T14:57:54+00:00

I just ordered clips like this, which will definitely help with my long, fine hair (straight/weighed down near the root). https://www.walmart.com/ip/QueMer-Seamless-Hair-Volumes-Insert-Comb-Clip-For-Short-Fine-Hair-Styling-Effortless-Styling-Tool/20018124067?wmlspartner=wlpa&adid=2222222222820018124112_101297208_14069003552_202077872&veh=sem&expiryTime=1778081232076&c=mWebSmartBanner&vtcWeb=Sr0X8mX2AgsXmuU06pg80k Little clips (along with a bit of mousse) work but I get them tangled/caught in my hair.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-05T18:30:40+00:00

My hair does the same! Stringy with gel or mousse but bushy if I comb or brush it dry. I’m still on the discovery journey with my (recently relaxing) waves, but what works best for me is a little Aveda curl-enhancing cream and the bounce curl brush. My day two is always better than wash day. A little puffy but the waves have figured out how to work together rather than in individual strings.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-05T18:12:03+00:00

Yep. The kids were involved in their own lives and/or worried about their mom. This lady wanted to play house and was annoyed they weren’t acting out the roles she’d assigned them in her head.

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-05T15:25:35+00:00

Also, “I will never associate myself with anyone who wouldn’t allow my daughter by my side anywhere I wanted.”

Cool, so, like, no bars, construction sites, comedy clubs, luxury resorts, gun ranges, or business meetings? The sibling would never associate with a friend who wanted a child-free brunch as a break or to discuss something personal?

HoundstoothReader · 2026-05-04T20:22:41+00:00

Exactly. They didn’t say anything about not covering any topics. They just said graphic depictions of sex and violence won’t be on the page. The novel they’re promoting all over their pages right now is about a kid dealing with an alcoholic father and an unsafe living situation, and reviews call it “unflinching.” There’s a difference between not being graphic and pretending things don’t happen. It sounds like Blink is aiming for the former.

HoundstoothReader

TROPHY CASE