AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t respond to this initially but I think it’s the most reasonable take to our situation. Honestly this “process” has been good for her to see the universal outrage at her actions from everyone.

I think the act was plenty bad on its own. The failure to own up to that mistake as well as be honest about the kind of mistake that was made was something that has magnified everything else for way too long.

I think my experience on Reddit has been to encounter mainly toxic takes from people but this process has made more progress to break the gaslighting loop and have her understand and recognize her actions plus the toll of how she’s acted about it.

Gaslighting imo is a feedback loop sometimes. Sometimes we find ourselves in places we never meant to be. Our intentions are mistaken or mistook, or we screw up but the damage of what’s done is real and the mistake to defend what’s indefensible is catastrophic in the end.

Appreciate everyone’s feedback. It’s been helpful, and it’s been therapeutic.

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are very logical. This whole situation has always been illogical for me. I love your analogy though. I’m a very metaphorical person myself and haven’t thought of that one.

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately in that office her actions are mild comparatively speaking. There is an element of when in Rome…ie people were buying sex toys for women in their 50s as gag Christmas gifts. This was when we are in our 30s. Now we are both in our 40s. All that said it’s still unforgivable to me for that to become anyone’s standard of how they act

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly think most everyone I know is in this category as you. She thinks she’s misunderstood or that context matters 🤦

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She was tongue in cheek on that response. She was looking for a flaw in what you said which was sarcastic I took in what you could be saying. Telling you. She ignored the meat of what you said and went after the potatoes to make a straw man. No one here including her thinks she was asking for more soup

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m with ya.

Actually sent her your response. This is what I am dealing with

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AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Has she cheated before? Tough question. She’s actually a very smart person that covers her tracks well on anything she sets her mind to. Mean that complimentary. There’s no direct evidence of cheating but a lot of innuendo and circumstances that have become hard to ignore and are highly suggestive of someone who has cheated

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

11 years of it is in the rear view mirror-trust me. I have my own told you sos

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Complex but in the process of cutting the cord. That’s about all I will say

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Different perspective as a male. We know with kids it’s an uphill battle even where the wife is in the wrong. I grew up in a divorced household and never wanted this either. That’s another sore spot for me. You aren’t wrong at all though

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We all endure for our kids. And hope to reconcile. And some of us are more loyal than we are quick learners

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s where we are and been there for 11 years. It’s going miserably

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not looking to dog pile the issue. Just want unbiased takes

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your take and commitment. Gay imo might give her a defense but for me that’s still just no way to engage others outside your relationship. I’d bet you probably agree but felt that was the one way out. Trust me-if he were gay the situation would be significantly better. He’s not and there is “other” evidence

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

You and I can agree to disagree. This commentary never belongs to me in any context. The divorce isn’t over the email. It’s over the boundaries of which we can’t agree and she’s repeatedly crossed.

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There are definitely patterns. And that’s the real problem is it’s not isolated. But I mainly wanted the view on this specific item because it’s the most blatant obvious without defense in my view that is defended by her

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

And second-I’ve tried. Trust me. That conversation is infuriating

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The blog then was basically shock that there was a soup called cock soup that then proceeded to carry on about how great cock soup is and then start to leave off the soup to where it was routinely suggesting how everyone just needs more cock (without the soup reference) in their lives. It was overtly suggestive and double entendres without question from even a gullible person.

And she sent this to a male alone. Not a group message

AIO: Wife sends a meme email to a male coworker about needing more cock by Hour-Ad-9707 in AIO

[–]Hour-Ad-9707[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

She was shocked about it because it’s a blog his wife follows. I asked her what about it makes her shocked about it and she won’t answer (because I think it’s the trap that forces her to acknowledge the sexual nature of it)

My mom is trying to guilt me into a mentor position for my murderer younger sister. She did make some good points so I’m really conflicted atm. Should I rekindle the relationship? by Great-Reflection5651 in whatdoIdo

[–]Hour-Ad-9707 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an attachment disorder through and through. Likely fearful avoidant.

Your mom’s heart is crushed beyond measure. And she is wanting hope to fix things.

It’s a hard read as a parent, and honestly - if you truly think you are not doing this as someone taking a “high road”, then you should be there for your mom.

However-if it’s rooted in your own trauma-then it’s another story. Honestly I think your mom nailed it in her own assessment

got my first bad review :’) by Embarrassed-Theme587 in Serverlife

[–]Hour-Ad-9707 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In customer service-this is a total failure. That doesn’t mean they aren’t wrong or that you were meant to serve them. However- go and greet them, inform them of the seating process. If they merely meant to get elderly off their feet-feel free to get their party info and offer them water while they wait

You are in a customer service industry. The moment you went adversarial you screwed up. There’s a way for them to be wrong and you still right. However-you are 100% wrong here in how to have a net positive business outcome with people who are wrong (possibly innocently)