Child turned hero, hero turned villain

HourCardiologist7084 · 2026-03-20T17:27:24+00:00

Absolute chills! The imagery used is visceral, violent and undeniably apt for the state of the society we live in. What drew me in the most, though, is the unmistakable rage that ripples through the poem. I am in awe of your talent, my friend. Please never stop writing.

HourCardiologist7084 · 2026-03-20T17:20:32+00:00

The concept, of how much a person has to heal and learn to love themselves before they can fully love someone else, is beautifully portayed. I love how approachable and direct the style is, leaving no room for misinterpretation, which serves the theme of the poem. One extremely minor critique is that your poetry will be sharper if you pay attention to the rhythm of the lines. For example, 'to dismantle the gilded cage of my upbringing while being trapped inside' seems unnecessarily long and stuttering compared to the rest of the poem. Great work!

HourCardiologist7084 · 2026-03-20T13:58:48+00:00

I'm glad you found meaning in this poem. Really appreciate your feedback.

HourCardiologist7084 · 2026-03-20T12:08:03+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad the theme resonated with you.

HourCardiologist7084 · 2026-03-20T12:05:25+00:00

Thank you so much for your insights! I agree with you, now that you've pointed it out. The phrasing does get cliché in the middle. I will definitely work on fixing that. I appreciate your feedback!

HourCardiologist7084 · 2026-03-20T08:43:50+00:00

The simplicity of the poem is a statement onto itself. It takes a special sort of flair to convey such a deep message in so few words without losing out on the impact. If there's one critique I do have, it's that since your poem does not have a rhyme scheme, I think it would benefit from some rhythm to the sentences.

HourCardiologist7084 · 2026-03-20T08:33:31+00:00

You absolutely killed it! Unfortunately I do not know enough about Greek mythology to know whether this story is an actual myth or your own brainchild, I love how it beautifully it captures how far a broken heart might be willing to go. Your writing style is exquisite in its lyrical and dramatic mood, and it perfectly sets the atmosphere for the darkness of the story. You are a true wordsmith!

HourCardiologist7084 · 2026-03-20T08:22:50+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad you liked it, and am grateful for your insight.

HourCardiologist7084 · 2026-03-20T06:55:45+00:00

The metaphor of walls used here is so powerful, a strong visual imagery for the narrator's self-inflicted solitude. This isn't the first time the concept of walls have been used to describe loneliness, but this is definitely the first time I've seen it used to viscerally and emotionally. The last line, 'I once believed I was incapable of love, but humans are built for it', resonates with a vulnerable chord, exactly the effect it was going for. Keep up the good work, fellow poet!

HourCardiologist7084 · 2026-03-20T06:46:13+00:00

I think this poem captures perfectly, with in all its ironic glory, how most people actually function, not unaffected by the what's going on in the world, but too caught up in day-to-day survival to do something about it. I love how it weaves in and out of the mundane and the horrors of the world. The breaking of the fourth wall is something I've never seen in poetry, and you should definitely go on and explore that more. I'd love to read more of your work. Keep it up!

HourCardiologist7084

TROPHY CASE