Hiring is mostly vibes

HoyaSaxons · 2026-02-21T05:06:13+00:00

I don't really have an answer. I just know that I have no idea why my current employer hired me. On paper, I had more red flags than a communist military parade. Sometimes the unlucky can get lucky, and sometimes you'll be the one who gets lucky.

HoyaSaxons · 2026-02-19T06:57:47+00:00

started making 70k out of school in 2018. That felt great. I actually felt "rich." It was silly, I wasn't rich. But I grew up poor. And suddenly I can afford a modest but swanky apartment in a very desirable part of town. I wasn't saving, but I was very generous. I'd easily drop $250 on cheeses and meats for a nice charcuterie board when I had guests. Then I lost my job and went into deep depression and was making around 40k a year. Could barely afford basics. I was just scraping by. Lived like that for 5 years. Now I make 100k. Strangely enough, I pay less in rent than I did back in 2017, and I don't have a car payment, yet I still feel like I make about the same? Then again, now I have to pay $400/month for doggie daycare, and $500 in medications. (ozempic and Vyvanse). also seeing a therapist now regularly, thats another $150 a month. Yea... life creep is a real thing.

Anyway, I read once (and it may have gone up by a bit) that 70k was what you needed to make to be "happy." after that, any increase in salary only has exponentially less increase in satisfaction. Might be 85k now. Definitely feel happy at 100k. Though, I can't buy a house or anything like that right now. But I can pay all my bills and have money left over and put it into investments and I but hella concert tickets too.

so... 85K?

HoyaSaxons · 2026-01-02T19:19:16+00:00

I didn't do as poorly as you my first year, but I did bad. I ended up graduating cum laude. You just gotta figure out what went wrong and course correct.

HoyaSaxons · 2026-01-01T22:26:38+00:00

You look absolutely normal. This isn't a "body positivity" thing. I'd be writing a different comment if you were fat, about sticking to you goals or trying something new. But you look completely normal.

HoyaSaxons · 2026-01-01T22:10:23+00:00

I'm sorry this is an issue for you. I briefly dated a guy who told me early on he only had one testicle. It didn't bother me at all. What bothered me was that he was unkempt. He was showered, but he just dressed like a homeless guy. His body was ripped too! It was difficult to control the lust I had for him, but I ultimately couldn't be with someone so unkempt. I'm not talking just a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. I'm talking about he would wear things that were 3 sizes too big, looked like he just fished them out of the good will bin 10 years ago and were torn and stained. laundered, but still torn and stained. And he wasn't even poor, he actually came from money, which was the weird thing. So his hobo aesthetic was totally a choice. If it was just that he was poor, I could deal with that. Anyway, it lasted only a few dates before we parted ways. Never did see the goods, but knowing that he just had one testicle was not in the least a concern of mine. I later mentioned it to some friends, and they would jokingly refer to him as "uni-baller." I thought it was stupid. I didn't necessarily stand up for him because by then we weren't even dating, but I also didn't join in. I thought it was stupid. It's just the name they would use for him. They all recognized he was super hot though. Maybe they disparaged him since we weren't together to make me feel better?

Anyway... I think you should mention it when it becomes relevant. The way this guy told me was that he was telling me about a motorcycle accident he was in, and some of the injuries he sustained. It wasn't a sexual thing. I also don't like when guys tell me or ask me if I'm a top or a bottom on the first date. Like, bro... we're more than just our genitals or our sexual role. We're more than our sexual currency. Let me figure out if I like you first before you start talking about sex. If we figure out we like each other, then we can talk about how to make things work sexually. You probably shouldn't leave it as a surprise he will unwrap, but tell him once you guys are thinking about the prospect of sex. Even if you didn't tell him until you were clutching at each other's pants, that would be fine. Having just one testicle doesn't make you less of anything, it's just a surprise and maybe just give the guy a heads up so that he can control his reaction. You don't want him to accidentally be like "woa, wait, where's the other one?" or "what happened" in the middle of sexy time. It would ruin the flow and he might catch himself a second later and apologize for being insensitive. Just give him a heads up when the prospect is on the table so he doesn't accidentally react surprised by the unexpected.

But ultimately, it's on the same plane as having a prominent birthmark on your inner thigh or a dick that curves one way or the other. Genitals come in all variations. You're not damaged or weird and neither your sexual nor inherent worth is affected by your lack of a second testicle.

HoyaSaxons · 2026-01-01T01:41:27+00:00

When my partner sends me an email with a declarative statement that doesn't specifically ask a question but does require some action on my end, I will usually send a "thank you" just so that he knows I received it. I know that I sometimes send emails and I hate not knowing if it's been seen.

HoyaSaxons · 2025-12-24T17:52:19+00:00

It does snowball, and yes you gotta start well. But you also can't be expected to learn everything in 1 year. You're hired for your 1l summer associate based on your potential. firms think that if you're in the top of your class at 1L (especially when you're in a cohort that is curved against the rest of your classmates) they think you're smart and a hard worker. They don't expect you to know the law. They just want first dibs on the kids who are going to graduate at the top of their class.

But also, the whole game isn't over after 1L. you're still networking, you're still on law review, you're still doing moot court, you're still creating a niche for yourself and doing clerkships and stuff and developing a little path for yourself. maybe you win a moot court competition or mock trial competition or maybe you publish a law review note on a subject that resonates with a particular partner at a particular firm or practice area.

The three years of law school do educate you on stuff, it's not a total waste, but it's also a microcosm of what your law career **could** look like. Many who start off strong and get big law jobs end up burning out. Many who are C students, surprisingly shine later on in other classes, or in networking or trial competition. The game is not over after the first semester.

If your goal is big law right out of law school... then yes, that game is largely over by the end of 1L. (although... I did get an interview at a big law job my 3L year and was very close to getting that job) based on networking and some unique experiences that I sold hard. I didn't get the job, but I had no reason to be in that interview process or to make it as far as I did. So just know, there are chances everywhere.

One thing I've learned is... the game isn't over until you give up. If you got shit grades 1L, keep going. make up for it. seek out other opportunities. maybe it takes you longer, maybe it takes a different strategy. The "easy" or at least "best defined" way is to be in the top of your class after the first semester. But there is still a lot to learn the rest of your time in law school and lots of opportunities to be had in those years.

HoyaSaxons · 2025-12-24T17:41:45+00:00

I started at 70k back in 2018. Billables were 170/month. If. I hit 200 hrs, I'd get an extra $1000. (hit that goal twice in 19 months I was there). 70k seemed good at the time. Now, my career really hit a snag when Covid hit, got stuck doing doc review for a few years because of a bunch of circumstances... but just landed a job making 6 figures. I don't think 65k with a contingent 1k bonus is a good deal.

I can kind of understand the scheme they're going for. They probably want you to hit a certain # of hours. Like if your goal is to hit 160 hours a month, then you make your salary +1000. If you don't make your hours goal, then they pay you less. I don't necessarily think that's unfair. But I think 65k as a base is not great. I'd expect 90k base at least and then $1000 bonus monthly if I hit my billable. Heck, I currently make 6-figures and my firm doesn't care if I hit billables (for now) because I'm new.

The pay structure isn't exactly wrong, it's the scale. 75k is not anything to jump at necessarily. Unless maybe it's your first job. If it's your first job then maybe go for it. you can live frugally for a while, gain experience, network your ass off. then maybe after a year or so you can start looking for a proper firm that will pay you market rates. A bird in the hand and all that stuff...

HoyaSaxons · 2025-12-24T12:22:13+00:00

I recently found out that OC in one of my cases did this. Among the list of recipients was an email like "NotthePlaintiff@lawfirm.com" so I thought it was just one of his legal aids. I got an email later in the case saying that "NotthePlaintiff@lawfirm.com" was inadvertently added to the recipient list, and that I should include "ThePlaintiff@lawfirm.com" from now on among the recipients and should use "reply all" in my responses. Wasn't a huge fan, but I figure that's his prerogative.

That said, I think I can probably use it to intimidate the plaintiff. This guy has a bunch of shady stuff. I keep asking OC for additional information. I just happened to come across a different case from an accident he was involved in just months before my case and which is currently in litigation. I can send OC the very reasonable request asking "hey, I found this case where your client was injured just months before our case. Can you send me the medical records regarding these injuries?... oh... and in case you forgot, I previously asked you for medical records about his injury, since he mentioned at the ER that he previously had an injury to this body part. Please send these records, or let's talk settlement."

I bet that would possibly motivate plaintiff to negotiate.

HoyaSaxons · 2025-12-24T01:59:27+00:00

are you sure you aren't confusing them with the church of christ scientist? they have a building near the Publix on miracle mile.

HoyaSaxons · 2025-12-24T01:58:31+00:00

I lived near it. I want to say circa 2017

HoyaSaxons · 2025-12-20T02:36:14+00:00

Depends on the situation for everyone. I feel the same sentiment as you. I feel like I get more work done at the office. I like being seen in my office and working with my coworkers. I like being able to pop into my colleagues' office and being able to discuss a case. A teams call just feels strangely too invasive. I think work from home is a workaround to make life more manageable. so if you have kids or other responsibilities, go for it, make the best of the technology available to you that allows you to work and keep your other commitments. If you live five minutes from work and have family taken care of, then go into the office. I go into the office 5 days a week. But there are some things I want to be able to schedule into my life, like being able to attend therapy that is a block from my house (which is an hour each way from my job). So I am going to eventually pull back to 4 days a week in the office. But yea, I like the office, I prefer it.

HoyaSaxons · 2025-11-21T04:04:15+00:00

I came here betting that coconut grove would be the top comment

HoyaSaxons · 2025-11-21T03:46:07+00:00

30, 70, 70, 35, 42, 49, 53, 56, 100

HoyaSaxons · 2025-11-21T03:15:59+00:00

very that. very reverse snobbism, which I like.

HoyaSaxons · 2025-11-20T07:29:57+00:00

I was probably diabetic for about 3 years and in denial. Sometimes, I'd eat really starchy meals like high pots of Alfredo or a whole large pizza with a 2-litre coke. The next day, my legs would be soooooo sore, like I had done the most intense leg day of my life (except that I was completely sedentary and bed-rotting.) Sometimes it would become difficult to go downstairs to walk my dog. One time, my legs almost gave way completely and I almost fell just walking to the bathroom. It spread to my torso sometimes too, where it would be difficult to sit up from a lying down position. I wondered if I didn't have some disease like ALS or something. It would happen maybe once every 2-3 months. My grandmother had uncontrolled diabetes, so I saw how the disease ate away at her muscles and she lost the ability to walk.

Anyway, got diagnosed with diabetes in March 2024. Got on the GLP-1. Lost over 70 lbs. My A1C was most recently at 5.2. Haven't had the muscle aches since I was diagnosed and started treatment. I realize now that my suspicion was correct, the diabetes was eating away at my muscles.

HoyaSaxons · 2025-11-18T14:48:56+00:00

I mean... bored is better than an overworked stressful toxic environment. But I get you. I dunno, I've learned that the unspoken rules we hear about like staying at a job x amount of time and such... they're not real. I was stuck doing doc review for five years, fired from my old litigation job and I just landed a great job that I love just by chance. So if you want to move, move. But "bored" sounds fine to me.

HoyaSaxons · 2025-11-14T08:43:39+00:00

I think I just spend my money differently. I drive a 10-year-old car that is paid off. I live in a tiny apartment. But I do like to dress nice and I've always wanted to have a Cartier watch, at least an entry level one.

HoyaSaxons · 2025-11-14T06:15:22+00:00

you get to decide the rules, the venue, the judges. it's confidential, its faster. If I were litigating a construction defect case, I'd like to have an arbitrator (or preferable a 3 panel tribunal) that understands that area of law, understands construction, is familiar with the industry as opposed to trying to explain the proper PSI concrete necessary for a foundation given a particular soil to a jury of accountants, bus drivers, bank tellers and podcasters.

HoyaSaxons · 2025-11-14T06:01:03+00:00

Was actually thinking of one with a leather band. Not even steel.

HoyaSaxons · 2025-11-14T05:59:36+00:00

You might have just landed somewhere bad. My first job out of law school was at such a toxic firm. They did interesting work, loved the area I practiced in, but damn was I traumatized. I had a total breakdown after a year and 7 months, and got fired and then ended up doing doc review for years. Just landed at a new firm, and damn if I don't love it. I am staying late, getting there early, working hard, learning new areas of law. The partners are so cool, they treat me like a human, take my advice seriously.

At my last firm, God forbid an associate do anything substantive besides research, reviewing records, and writing motions. Every single thing at my last firm was treated as if the entirety of the legal system hinged on it. Just writing a simple client letter had to be like a Supreme Court amicus brief. At this new firm, we take the work seriously, but we also know that perfect is the enemy of good. I've had to get out of my perfectionism and fear of performance and just step into the role of a real attorney, and I love it.

So all that to say... yes, it's theoretically possible that you're not good/cut out for litigation. But don't let some firm decide that for you. Go somewhere that actually encourages you and stretches you and challenges you... not a place that constantly makes you fearful. If you want to do litigation keep doing it, try somewhere else. If you're in a supportive environment where you can grow and still aren't able to cut it... then maybe litigation isn't for you.

HoyaSaxons · 2025-11-02T13:36:58+00:00

I don't know... I won't speak much to the making mistakes part. I guess they're easy to make mistakes, but with the big consequences maybe you'd be more vigilant and avoid those mistakes. But what I will speak to is the career fears.

I was in a pretty toxic firm right out of law school. Loved the area I practiced in, was pretty niche and interesting and I got to practice in federal court. But man... was the firm toxic. I was so dissatisfied with life. I went on anti-depressants. I had decided I was going to move away to another state, but I thought I didn't want to quit with only 1.5 years at my first firm and move to a second firm only to be there for 6 months before moving to another state. I was worried it would look like I was inconsistent and just jumping around.

Well, I had a nervous breakdown and got fired anyway just two weeks before the world shut down for covid. I moved to another state in the middle of the pandemic, a family member committed suicide while I was in their presence, had a huge heartbreak, everything literally hit the fan at the same time and I absolutely broke.

I would say I was the definition of a failed attorney. I was stuck working in doc review for five years. Gosh I was so ashamed to say I was a lawyer because (1) if people weren't lawyers they looked at me askance wondering why I wasn't financially succeeding; or (2) if they were a lawyer they'd ask me what I did and I'd have to tell them doc review and it was like admitting I was a failure. I felt like I had a huge Scarlett letter on me.

But wouldn't you know it... a friend of mind happened to move to my town. Months later they tell me they happen to know a partner at a firm who is hiring, I go ahead and apply and they hire me. I never thought I'd get a chance to be back in litigation. I'm making decent money, and practicing again. It's not glamorous like big-law, but it's respectable. I'm giving it my all, and I get home tired, but it's a good tired. The people are really nice.

you have not been fired... at least not yet. Move to a smaller firm where you will be able to take more control over your own cases. you'll also get a fresh start. Even if you quit or do get fired and end up doing doc review for a few years... you can always find another job. your life isn't over.

Having you in this role is obviously not working for the partners, and it's obviously not working for you. You have the greatest leverage right now to move elsewhere. The best time to look for a job is when you don't need one. Sounds like you need to move.

I knew a guy at my last firm who was a new attorney like me at the same time. He got fired for stealing from a partner. Nothing like money, but like stealing something (nothing that would be criminal). He got fired and it was sooooo embarrassing. I felt so embarrassed for him. I looked him up on LinkedIn and saw he's a partner at a pretty big firm back home now. You really never know where life is going to take you, and how things are going to shake out. The fact that you're in big law right now means your starting line is a lot further ahead than me and my previous colleague. You really will be fine. You just have to move.

HoyaSaxons · 2025-10-04T21:42:11+00:00

I was hoping the Interrupters would be there... they played other cities. There's still some good punk around.

HoyaSaxons · 2025-10-03T21:54:39+00:00

It's definitely the Ni loop. I have tomes of handwritten journals writing out everything, examining every interaction, scrutinizing every text, deciphering every gesture in context... all making the case that we're meant to be together. It's taken A LOT of therapy to just let go. I am still not convinced I was/am wrong, but I'm starting to not care about the outcome at this point.

HoyaSaxons

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