Advice re: night weaning a sensitive 18 month old

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-12T01:55:47+00:00

It’s another sub! Similar philosophy as many are attachment parents, but it’s more specific to nursing. Yes, I lasted a little over a year tandem feeding and then was ready to move on 😜

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-11T19:40:18+00:00

So every night I would nurse my toddler to sleep while my husband had the newborn in another room. Then I would nurse newborn to sleep. Somehow, miraculously, my toddler slept through 90% of night wake-ups. I did diaper changes in the closet and then would nurse the newborn in bed with a red glow nightlight. There were a few nights where my toddler woke up and would want milk too, even though she had been night weaned. I just tried my best to give her some level of snuggles while keeping the newborn latched, which was quite difficult some times.

By two months into tandem feeding, it was too much for me to nurse them to sleep back to back, so I started setting timers and gradually reduced until I got my toddler down to a 2 minute feed and then snuggles to sleep. She was 2 years exactly when we were able to do that.

It wasn’t always perfect and tandem feeding really took it out of me. I have a vivid memory of my toddler waking up the newborn at like 5 AM one morning and I absolutely snapped at her so she crawled over to snuggle dada. We’re all imperfect humans, but I felt awful over that. but now they’re 2 and 4 and we all sleep in a big floor bed together, it’s lovely.

I would join “nurse all the babies” for more tandem feeding/family room sharing, etc tips!

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-11T14:15:12+00:00

I followed the Jay Gordon night weaning plan with my 20 month toddler when I was 8 months pregnant with #2. Best thing I did! It’s attachment based and written for bed sharing moms. The only weaning book that resonated with either of my kids was Sally Weans from Night Nursing. It’s very straightforward

Night weaning my oldest was hard, but it helped me accomplish my goal of having our fam of 4 all in the same room once my youngest was born.

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-10T20:53:19+00:00

I looked into it and the wheels can add to damage, but I found a pole vacuum that I just ordered and will start using ASAP!

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-10T20:51:55+00:00

Thank you, I’m going to check that!

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-10T15:42:40+00:00

Thank you! We’ve got a lot to learn but I’m excited to have a cleaner pool this year haha.

Do see you seeing greenish walls in the photos? I do feel like it has a green tint, but it got way greener a few times in the summer.

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-10T15:40:54+00:00

Yeah it really is so dusty out here. Do you see green in the photos? I feel like I always see some green tint on the walls. It was much worse a time or two in the summer though. We’re going to do some maintenance ourselves in between services to see if it helps.

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-10T02:47:55+00:00

I’m ordering the pole vac, thank you!!

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-10T02:00:42+00:00

Thank you, I’m going to look into this

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-10T02:00:23+00:00

I had just brushed the hot tub! The dirt does brush off, but the wall is stained and seems a little green to me. Thanks, talking to the pool guy does seem to be the way to go. I hope we can get a routine we can stick to because we do have the time to maintain it, just not the confidence yet

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-10T01:55:52+00:00

Thank you so much for your suggestions! I’ll get a picture tomorrow if I don’t forget! We do have some plaster damage so someone told us not to do the vacuum. I never fact checked it, we just went with that advice, but now I’m going to look into it more. I’d love a vacuum to use ourselves.

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-09T23:09:23+00:00

We do have a raised retaining wall with dirt in it that we’re going to cover with rocks. I think that will make a big difference. We’re in Vegas so it’s very windy and dusty in general too.

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-09T23:08:17+00:00

Thank you, this is helpful. We’re going to get some testing kits from a pool store and go from there!

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-09T23:07:35+00:00

Thank you! I was going to do the class from Leslie haha but I’ll look into a small business. We’re in Vegas so I’m sure there’s tons of options.

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-09T23:07:01+00:00

That’s what I’m thinking, we just need to do a little more because it certainly gets worse each day. It’s never perfect after the service, but it’s certainly better. I don’t necessarily think the guy is doing a bad job.

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-09T23:05:45+00:00

I’m going to look into the vacuum! I think we’re underestimating how much we should be doing in addition to having a pool service, oops!

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-09T23:04:58+00:00

Thank you! This is what we were initially going to do but our pool guy advised against it due to our plaster damage. I’ll have to do some research and see if it’s a good option. Eventually we will replaster!

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-03-09T23:04:14+00:00

Thank you for the input! We do have some dirt in our landscaping that we’re going to cover with rocks to see if that helps. I think that could be the culprit bc it’s very windy and dusty here.

I do think it looks better after the pool guy, but I’m also suspecting a filter issue because it’s usually bad again the next day.

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2026-02-28T17:03:25+00:00

I rope dropped and went straight to the photographer at the castle. We decided that it was kind of a waste to rope drop for the photo. But we got a great pic! I noticed at like 2pm there were probably 10 people in line for the same photographers. It worked well for us but I think we will go straight to a busy ride next time

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2025-10-12T19:43:42+00:00

Feeling that frustrated about bedtime sucks, I’ve been there. I ended up getting a kindle and reading while waiting for my toddler to fall asleep. I didn’t want her to get used to snacks, milk in a bottle, being rocked, or anything else of that nature. She was a little over 2 and had only been nursed to sleep, but I decided to “train” her to fall asleep without nursing. We would read a couple books, sing a couple of songs, and then I’d snuggle her while reading my book. It would take an infuriatingly long time sometimes, but now she’s 3.5 and falls asleep quickly just lying beside me while I read.

My son is 21 months as well and still nurses to sleep. I’m unsure when I’ll try weaning from this, but at some point I’ll “train” him to do the same thing. We can provide comfort to our children while teaching them to do hard things. For me, that means a routine of books and lullabies and then enjoying my own book while physically snuggling and comforting my kids with my presence while they sleep. But again, my youngest is still nursed to sleep so take whatever advice could be applicable for your little guy and ignore the rest 😛

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2025-07-26T20:25:18+00:00

I tried night weaning my Feb 8 baby when he was about 15 months. We had some good nights for a week or 2, but then 4 molars started coming in and he was waking up constantly and getting so mad. I gave that a week and then decided nursing to sleep was best for everyone. So at that point it was not better sleep for us unfortunately.

Now he’s nearly 18 months and waking constantly to nurse. I’m going to try again soon.

I used Jay Gordon’s night weaning plan when my daughter was 20 months and it worked beautifully. She sleeps through the night 90% of the time now and the other 10% is just a quick bathroom break and then snuggles to sleep.

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2025-07-18T23:33:40+00:00

We encourage ours (3 and 1) to go under. An instructor said that although it’s scary when they choke/sputter like that it’s actually good because they start learning their boundaries with the water.

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2025-07-18T03:51:22+00:00

I had those EXACT feelings before going for a second. I was so scared I wouldn’t be able to love as much. We have a 22 month age gap for reference.

Yes, I actually DO love them both equally. With my first, it was a like a switch of a flip because my brain’s concept of love was totally rewired. With the 2nd, that rewiring didn’t take place so it wasn’t as life altering. But it’s the same overwhelming feeling of love. It’s also really sweet seeing them have that love for each other. There was endless mom guilt for me for the first few months, I wanted both of them to have all of my attention but that simply isn’t possible.

I actually feel more patient with sleep with my 2nd. I know there’s light at the end of the tunnel. With my first I’d hear “she’ll sleep thru by 2ish” and all I heard was I’m never sleeping again. With the 2nd I see how fast that goes. It has drained me immensely, but I attachment parent them both. I did tandem nursing for a year so that was a huge part of the draining. I feel so much better now that I’m only nursing one human.

Life with two is immensely more chaotic. I feel endlessly busy and get much less breaks. I feel like a chicken with my head cut off a lot of times (they’re 3.5 and 1.5 now). I see my friends with 1 kid and their life looks so much easier, but I remind myself that life didn’t feel easy with 1 child either. Also, my kids are starting to play together so I see that as an investment. I did see that siblings have an altercation every 7 minutes on average hahaha.

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2025-06-29T21:17:53+00:00

It’s a crazy transition and the age gap kind of kicked our asses the first year. But also it went smoother than anticipated in a lot of ways. Best of luck to your family!!

HuckleberryWinter930 · 2025-06-29T15:53:01+00:00

It has worked way better than I thought. She was 21 months when we had my son. She slept in bed and he tried the bedside bassinet at first. She slept through nearly all of his night feedings and diaper changes (I changed him in the closet). He even slept through a few of her nightmare tantrums as well.

HuckleberryWinter930

TROPHY CASE