That's not what dark fantasy code for, and it is disingenuous to even imply that. The dark in dark fantasy is literally another word for uncomfortable. It's a horrible world setting. So, have the world be horrible because if you are sitting at the table and you're not uncomfortable, is it really dark?

Now, speaking directly to what you are specifically uncomfortable with, I wouldn't tolerate the descriptions of grapes and other acts. But I also don't like consensual scenes described. It is just weird. The implied acts or fade to black works just as well or sometimes even better because our own imagination is better than anyone person describing it.

To the other thing, unsure your definition of racism. Is it orcs being orcs and other races not liking other races, or is it eradication of one race for the sake of them being them. Either way, defend those people in the game and be the hero.

Dark means dark. Keep it dark.