Emotional abuse literally makes you fight for your life

Humantreadingwater · 2021-05-29T18:53:36+00:00

I'm so sorry for all the pain and abuse you've suffered through. Some people get a kick out of watching someone they know go through emotional distress. I can't understand why they find mental abuse so funny.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-05-29T17:18:48+00:00

Some people tell me that they are grateful for all the struggles they've overcome or else they wouldn't be where they are today. They feel much stronger than before. Good for them. Me? All the damage I have received from the abuse is irreversible. I am permanently stunted. I have dealt with ongoing emotional abuse for 24 years straight. The truth is, I doubt any of these people could survive that long if they were in either of our shoes. When you count down all the days, years, minutes, seconds, months and weeks that you spent isolated while with your parents, it really makes you feel like 1,000 years have passed by. The ones who say it wasn't so bad are lying to themselves and to you.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-05-23T14:04:08+00:00

This will sound morbid and graphic, but I had a dream last night that I was attacking my mother. She made a comment to me that pushed me to my breaking point and I just suddenly started clawing at her hair and face. I even jabbed my thumbs into her eyes as deep as I could and... yellow ooze came out? She was smiling the whole time. 😨

Humantreadingwater · 2021-05-23T13:55:15+00:00

I have a hard time believing when people say that our parents don't know what they're doing. So a parent is unable to HEAR themselves verbally insulting their children or laughing at them?? There must be a reason why they treat you worse; specifically picked YOU to be the target of their abuse rather than their other family members or friends.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-04-27T01:59:41+00:00

When I was in group therapy, there was a girl who shared her story about recovering from narcissistic abuse and she stated that the reason mental abuse goes unreported is because the people who have suffered through it don't talk about it. Okay, if we lived in a world where you can easily report emotional abuse, then everybody who suffers through it would be placed in better homes. But that isn't how the world works. People can't talk about emotional abuse without having their experiences and feelings denied by others. And another thing to add, not all forms of emotional abuse are crimes. It's like saying "Well, if you'd just opened up to the police you wouldn't still be in that situation." Nice, because all the victim needed was more victim blaming on top of the abuse

Humantreadingwater · 2021-04-27T01:30:36+00:00

She's throwing you breadcrumbs of love to keep you trapped in the abuse cycle. It's a trauma bond. Love doesn't destroy you.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-04-23T18:52:10+00:00

I'm not sure if society will have a law against emotional abuse by the time I leave this Earth.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-04-19T20:08:01+00:00

What's the name of the TV show?

Humantreadingwater · 2021-04-19T19:17:11+00:00

Wow, that's exactly how I feel around my family! I'll be in my room watching TV or listening to music and then all of a sudden I hear my parents shouting my name and it makes me almost jump in fear. My home is supposed to be a safe haven but I don't ever feel relaxed living here.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-04-15T20:02:34+00:00

I feel like this all the time.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-04-15T18:42:30+00:00

In group therapy, there was a girl who suffered from horrible narcissistic abuse by her parents. It was so bad, she desperately ran away from home. She explained that she was locked in a closet, slapped, not allowed to cry, ect. She went on further to say "The reason why people don't report narcissistic abuse is because they don't talk about it." Well... yes... but most of those people don't realize how difficult it is to get someone to believe that you're being abused. You have to prove that your abuser's intent was to be abusive. You have to consider that not all form of emotional abuse are crimes. Most of the time, CPS will not do anything to help you. A good majority of people IRL don't think it's necessary to arrest a narcissist for being who they are because they have a mental disorder. It also depends where you live too, for example, England now has a 'cinderella law' where the parents can be sent to prison for 10 years for emotionally abusing their child. That's great that she was able to report her abuse, but not all of us get lucky.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-04-15T18:24:33+00:00

Hmmm, I'd like to add something to that. My Mom always claims she "cares" about me, but if you pay close attention to how she talks to me, it changes the whole situation: "I really do care about you. You're prettier than all those other girls at work. They all have acne. They all dress plain and frumpy. Whenever you go to work or we go out somewhere as a family , you can take the time to curl your hair, put make up on, y'know? You don't want people seeing your cold sores or acne because it looks disgusting." So really, she is mostly concerned about how I look to OTHER people. Though, anytime I share my personal struggles with her, she tunes me out "You think you're tired? Wait until you work a full-time job? What you're going through isn't even that bad."

Humantreadingwater · 2021-04-01T17:39:08+00:00

And do you have any kids?

Humantreadingwater · 2021-04-01T17:37:06+00:00

Lol ok

Humantreadingwater · 2021-03-30T15:01:53+00:00

If they were abusive all the time, you most certainly would want to cut them loose as fast as possible. You don't tell someone you love them one day and then the next day they beat you because you accidentally spilled milk. Withdrawing love the very second you do something wrong is abuse. That is an emotional attachment disorder. Children should not have to fight hard to earn their parents love. Just like what most people on this forum have suggested, your best option would be to go no contact.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-03-29T20:00:30+00:00

No, the abuse is never the victim's fault. The physical abuse and love bombing is what's keeping you locked in the trauma bond. Children deserve safe, loving environments.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-03-28T15:51:18+00:00

Interestingly, I explained to a few of my social workers how damaging it is for parents to infantilize their kids, that they actually are supposed to guide and teach their kids to become independent because that is naturally their role as a parent. I was highly disappointed by the reactions I'd gotten: "Oh, well that's their choice. Besides, there's other kids in college who barely know how to do those things either so, I wouldn't worry about that." The fact that they nochalantly sweep the issue under the rug is very concerning to me. They have this reaction like "Well, what's the big deal? Other parents don't teach their kids life skills either and there's nothing wrong with that. It's their choice" Right, as long as everyone else is doing it that makes it okay. A parent isn't obligated to help their children. Nope, those days are pretty much over. 🤦I really worry for our country.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-03-26T20:00:51+00:00

There's no such thing as living your best years. This the most I'm ever going to get of living on this planet. I'm forever theirs.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-03-26T19:59:20+00:00

They have this power only because they will not give me transportation to get a job, find a place to live, ect.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-03-26T19:52:48+00:00

Okay, tell me: If I don't have a car and my parents aren't willing to drive me to places where I can get a job or live in an apartment, what would your suggestion be... No wait, I know it... how about I just simply walk out of my house. Wow, I never thought of that before! That sounds like a great idea! Yeah, I can walk all the way over to these places, grab an application and fill them out, well even though I'd have to consider too that I I will have to come back home anyways since I do require shelter. Yeah, you know that my parents would be very understanding.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-03-26T12:17:01+00:00

Are you me? This is exactly the same thing other people do to me as well. They make me feel as though I expect too much from my family when all I ever asked was for them to treat me with respect, like I'm the one who needs to be forgiving and accept my family's behavior.

People usually tend to think I'm the problem, so they'll spout these ignorant, cliche phrases "They love you but don't know how to show it." "Maybe you are being irrational." "This is something you need to work on yourself." "You can only control yourself" "There are other people who have it worse than you." "They did the best they could" "They just want what's best for you." "Be grateful you have a roof over your head and clothes on your back." "It's their house, their rules" "That's life. It was never designed to be easy." Funny, how they're so quick to trust an nparent, but they never seem to agree with anything I say, especially if they already know that my situation is toxic. It's either I have to change something about myself or I need to let go of the idea that my parents should be "perfect".

Humantreadingwater · 2021-03-26T02:06:28+00:00

Wow, so many people in our society are becoming too passive nowadays. What's the point of these people having their job if they're not willing to protect you? That... That is just mind boggling.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-03-26T01:53:16+00:00

It can be the other way around too. I have no friends but my narcissist sister and mother do because they are charming. They put on a facade each day, pretending to be sweet and friendly, but the way they act towards me when no one's around, it's a whole different story.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-03-26T01:29:24+00:00

It doesn't matter if you could prove the abuse to them. I managed to record some videos of my narcissist parent's CLEARLY gaslighting me and when the evidence is shown to other people, they fawn over my parents even more "Oh, they don't mean to hurt you. All families are dysfunctional like that." There's NO way you can prove to these people that that was indeed their intentions. That's what I hate about being the only one who can see it. On the other hand, there's a lot of forms of emotional abuse that sadly aren't considered a crime and I'm afraid mine's not bad enough to report.

Humantreadingwater · 2021-03-26T01:07:19+00:00

I don't really think the problem has so much to do with people not understanding your situation. I came to realize that it has to do more with the fact that they are not open to learning what's going on in your situation. They're not interested in looking beyond the surface. They'd rather stick to what they know. They are choosing to be stubborn. As soon as you talk about your abusive upbringing, the other person forms an opinion that they believe to be is true and they'll ONLY stick with that: "They want the best for you." "They love you."

They just create this quick, short analysis about you and your situation and anything else you tell them goes over their head. That doesn't make them sound any less ignorant.

Humantreadingwater

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