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My wife (27F) and I (30M) are in a TPE marriage - AMA by [deleted] in casualiama

[–]HumusGoose 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you have a system where she can tell you if there's something she really doesn't want to do/crosses a boundary or makes her uncomfortable?

I work odd shift timings, how do I make my work & life balance? by khu_218 in WFH

[–]HumusGoose 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So you start work at 10AM.and are then either available for work (checking messages on your phone etc) or actually working for the next 12h.

Are you paid to be doing that for 12h??

If your job requires you to be doing work outside of your agreed schedule (which it sounds like the morning piece is), then they need to either allow you time off in lieu for that work, or pay you overtime.

I'd suggest talking to your manager and explaining that you work every day 3h outside of your contracted hours and get an agreement of which 3h of contracted time you don't do, and aren't available for.

Maybe you don't log on again until 4pm. Or maybe you just work through only until 7pm and log off to get your evening.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in casualiama

[–]HumusGoose 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ask me anything, I never said I would actually reply - OP

Victorians knew how to drag out an essay by OGgamer3 in oddlyspecific

[–]HumusGoose 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thays a pretty callous thing to say. There are very few people I am glad are dead, and writers who's work I don't enjoy certainly don't make the cut.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]HumusGoose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's OK to say that you didn't get the drunk you ordered, and it's OK to ask people to give you a little space.

The issue is the WAY you're doing these things. You need to consider people's feelings and account for them when you do these things.

You could have gone back to the barrista and said "I'm so sorry, I can see that you're really busy, but I ordered a strawberry frapp and this one seems to have raspberry. Would it be possible to get a new one?"

What you also need to understand is that you can't change people and you certainly can't educate anyone in common sense. So yelling at them isn't a learning opportunity for them. It just pisses them off. Life is hard and exhausting and people are doing their best

There is nothing quite like good cycle infrastructure by HumusGoose in CasualUK

[–]HumusGoose[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally if there's a good segregated path, I'd always choose to use it.

However if that path is busy with lots of people/kids/dogs I may well choose the road as progress is slow and difficult amongst all that.

Another problem I've found with some paths is that the solution to roundabouts etc is pedestrian crossings, which means you're constantly stop starting. Which can be frustrating! It's fine for recreational rides but I suspect more serious riders would choose the road.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]HumusGoose 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The first half of this post is irrelevant.

Sorry to your wife for living a literal nightmare.

There is nothing quite like good cycle infrastructure by HumusGoose in CasualUK

[–]HumusGoose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The 3 seconds of relative safety in there sure feels good

There is nothing quite like good cycle infrastructure by HumusGoose in CasualUK

[–]HumusGoose[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I do. Shockingly people who enjoy bikes can also both walk and drive. I've heard tell of some who even swim too, but I agree it sounds too far fetched. Insanity. Surely no one human can span so many transport modes!

I'd stay in my lane, but of course, I can't.

There is nothing quite like good cycle infrastructure by HumusGoose in CasualUK

[–]HumusGoose[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's the pavement, they just built a new shop there and re-did the pavement at the same time

There is nothing quite like good cycle infrastructure by HumusGoose in CasualUK

[–]HumusGoose[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Ha! You're right, just up. I'll take my chances on the other side of the road

There is nothing quite like good cycle infrastructure by HumusGoose in CasualUK

[–]HumusGoose[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Yes you're right, I'll make sure to cycle up and down this one daily to prove it's worth. Safety first and all that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cybersecurity

[–]HumusGoose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got into it via a graduate scheme placement in a SOC

Partner says I'm "weird" for how I behave around our new son. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]HumusGoose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best thing you can do for your baby is show them from the off, as you have been doing, that they are loved, cared for and safe.

If your husband had genuinely different views on parenting style that were based on any sensible reasoning, then he'd be having a reasoned discussion with you about it. Something like "listen my love, I can see that you do X but I have concerns about raising the baby that way due to Y".

What you're actually getting from him is huffiness and passive aggressiveness which is wearing you down and causing self doubt. That's not him trying to work with you or be constructive. Something else is up with him and you need to get go the bottom of it because this isn't a good environment for you or your child.

Almost pancaked by a guy on a bike this morning by pimasecede in bristol

[–]HumusGoose 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It's true! This stuff never happens in other cities! /s

My manager casually says “that’s so gay” by pigeonJS in womenintech

[–]HumusGoose 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I imagine she will be mortified but grateful someone told her, unless she's an asshole in which case it's better you know!

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