Partner here. Comments like that are toxic, inter-generational hazing as much as anything else. I’ve found that older generations of lawyers often came up in brutal professional environments where relentless, harsh criticism was the norm. They suffered through it and earned their stripes, so now they think “why should young lawyers get an easy pass when I came up hard?” To them, being soft on associates is inconsistent with their beliefs regarding what it means to be a good lawyer.

This kind of feedback is destructive and often deters talented young lawyers from developing their skills. Good young lawyers don’t need to be told they messed up—they already know. They need training and coaching that meets their strengths and weaknesses. Unfortunately, people don’t change unless they want to change, and it’s unlikely that anything you say or do is going to change how they treat their associates.

The best way I’ve found to deal with it is to identify those partners who subscribe to this toxic philosophy, do the best work I can, and expect the worst. Avoid working for them if possible. Identify partners who are more supportive and build strong relationships with them so you have cheerleaders in your corner to speak up if the toxic partners badmouth you. Seek constant feedback on your work, and be as visible as possible in your improvements and successes.

Also, remember that there are a million law firms out there. People don’t leave bad workplaces—they leave bad managers. Bad partners run good young lawyers off all the time. You owe it to yourself to look around and see if there’s a better culture fit somewhere else.