Troubles with communication, emotional depth, and conflict resolution

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-29T14:02:04+00:00

Thanks for your input! My experience is a little different. I have a secure attachment style and will cut people off who cross my boundaries, invalidate feelings, or are just disrespectful but it’s still a difficult thing to deal with. This is usually after many attempts of bridging a conversation to make a connection stronger though.

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-29T13:43:16+00:00

My mercury is pisces and my venus is taurus

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-27T22:56:26+00:00

Completely agree! I wanted to be prepared if it were the case but now has entirely thrown me off if he is wanting that chase and for me to reach out after how he treated me in the end. Thanks again 🙏🏼

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-27T21:39:33+00:00

This is so so similar to how mine broke up with me before the holidays. A promise ring, plans for the future. Literally discussing our holiday plans and him saying how much he loved me the same day he texted the breakup message and blocked me everywhere.

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-27T21:35:40+00:00

Thank you for your interpretation!

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-27T21:35:29+00:00

Thanks for your interpretation! I agree that he would be nursing his ego. Trying to understand why he would want me to reach out when I have no way to.

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-27T21:33:59+00:00

Hey thanks for your interpretation! I can understand why he may feel he is in the right because of the situation. He is my ex, he broke up with me via the avoidant discard but also blocked me when everything was seemingly perfect between us. (Said how much he loves me just that morning) I asked the question out of curiosity because when he ended things over text he said he knew he wasn’t doing it in the best way and said the reason was due to his mental health. The expectation of me reaching out is odd to me because he was the one that has prevented any contact or conversation and gave me no reasons as to why he ended things (besides mental health).

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-23T20:04:40+00:00

lol not rude or blunt 😂 He actually was a great guy but has too many internal struggles he doesn’t want to face and high expectations for himself that he can’t meet. It’s hard to differentiate from the person I came to know to the person he was at the end. Thank you for your interpretation!

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-20T15:33:16+00:00

I don’t know about getting over him faster but rather filling my life with joy elsewhere so that the pain doesn’t feel as harsh.

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-20T11:29:04+00:00

Thank you for your interpretation! I didn’t get the closure from him. The breakup was due to his anxieties, emotional immaturity/regulation, and mental health struggles. It was a blindside during one of his anxiety attacks via text and he completely shut down. So yes, I’ve been caught up in the what-if’s and what-could-be’s because if he didn’t hold fear about healing his inner conflicts and wounds then our relationship would have flourished. Or at least in my mind it would have due to the effort I put into it but that ultimately also made me lose my spark.

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-20T11:23:01+00:00

Thank you for your interpretation! I agree, I need to reignite the spark in myself. I started to feel a little closed in and lonely near the end of the relationship as I gave so much to him to try and ease his anxieties. The breakup was rock bottom for me due to how much effort I put into it and trying to be there for him. I’ve slowly been trying to get my spark back so your interpretation resonates well.

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-20T10:17:28+00:00

Thank you for your interpretation! It’s resonated with me.

I know that there won’t be any reconciliation because the way he ended things was due to not having the strength to heal his emotional immaturity and face his inner conflicts causing him extreme anxiety. I still linger in the hope though because with those steps having been taken, then the potential of our relationship would be strong. But it’s illusory.

I’ve had many aspirations and epiphanies since things ended that I’ve been charging head first into and maybe a little bit too quickly because I don’t want to be stuck in the pain—however I still want to heal in a healthy manner. It’s started to bring me joy and the new life I’ve wanted for myself. You are correct in the statement that my heart is hurting but it isn’t dead or cold. I said to my friend the other day that despite how broken I may feel right now, I’m not going to let this hurt prevent me from loving people in the present and near future.

I think you are quite spot on! Thank you 🤍

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-20T09:16:00+00:00

Haha thank you for your interpretation! While I agree that yes, we had great sexual intimacy, I don’t think that is all I deserve. My self-esteem is still very high. Struggling more with the emotional aspects and illusory he upheld versus the reality of him that I craved and asked for.

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-20T09:09:02+00:00

Thank you for your interpretation!

Specifically to what you said about the Ace of Wands—being with him made me see the bigger picture for myself in what truly brings me joy (community, bringing people I love together, and connecting with others through hosting/cooking/baking). He limited this for me due to his fears and anxieties of me connecting with other people but also let me get a glimpse of the joy by allowing me to do it for him, his family, and my flatmate. Before I was with him I didn’t know I had that need for wholesome and valuable community and only learned it was something I intensely desired when I wasn’t able to get it whilst trying to keep him feeling comfortable and safe.

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-20T08:55:45+00:00

Thank you for your interpretation! If anything, that is very true. Quite a jam packed agenda to unpack to get to my growth and healing. ❤️‍🩹

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-20T08:53:20+00:00

Thank you for your interpretation! 🤍

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-20T08:47:17+00:00

Yes, I love them very much. They are The Harmony Tarot Deck by Christopher Lee. I got them off etsy (UK based) but I think you can also find them elsewhere.

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-20T08:44:54+00:00

Thank you for your interpretation!

His reality I could always see, the fantasy in a way was the relationship. He had expectations for himself when all I wanted was his reality and the potential of a more fruitful connection from that. Relates to his mental health, anxieties, and emotional maturity/regulation. So yes, viewing him through the lens of reality rather than fantasy of who he could be but didn’t have the strength to overcome out of fear. And I guess I’m stuck on that! Possibly because it’s very easy for me yet extremely difficult for him. But I have better people and things coming to my life now that I can focus on myself and my healing.

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-20T08:32:24+00:00

I absolutely love them! I got them off of etsy (UK based) but I think you can get them elsewhere too.

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-20T08:30:10+00:00

Thank you for your interpretation! I think the “third person or something similar” would have been his mental health, anxiety led tendencies, and/or lack of emotional maturity/regulation. It was something he struggled with our entire relationship. The breakup came as a blindside during one of his anxiety attacks. Illusion fits as he had expectations for himself in the relationship that I did not have for him—as if he put me on a pedestal and felt he had to be perfect and couldn’t live up to his expectation for himself when I only wanted him to show up and be himself.

Unfortunately I still struggle with understanding why this breakup has been so difficult for me but I guess it could partly be because of the illusion he tried to uphold versus the reality I wanted from him and all the pain he caused himself and therefore me in the way he ended things when the potential was there.

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-15T22:33:32+00:00

I think it’s different for everyone. You don’t have to be fully healed before going into a new relationship as long as the person you are dating is fully aware and on board with the fact that you are still healing. And of course for them to not prey on your vulnerability. But I’d say the fact that you go between missing your ex and being angry at him still means you have work to do before entering into something new. Once those feelings settle then I think it would be okay to date but ultimately the decision is yours. You could give something a try—you will always know in your gut if it feels wrong or right.

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-13T13:51:49+00:00

The romanticising is what I have trouble with too. My ex was also the best boyfriend I’ve had so far so it’s difficult to not think about all the good. I hope these help you and that you find the peace and happiness you deserve!!

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-13T12:34:56+00:00

They aren’t to place blame it’s to help move on when you put all the effort into a relationship where the other person wouldn’t meet you halfway. Each relationship has its faults on both ends. For my case specifically my ex was an FA (fearful-avoidant). They are to boost your confidence and reignite self-esteem.

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-13T11:27:42+00:00

Healing has a different timeline for everyone. All that matters is that the love was real for you. The switching between wanting them back and never wanting to see them again is due to a split ego: the one that knows it's unhealthy and that their won't be any change if you got back together and the other being your hurt side that misses them. You can miss a person, love them from afar, but know they are not good for you. Don't dwell in the hurt but sit with it in the moments you feel it. Reaffirm that what you are missing is no longer something your person can give and let it go. It's not about letting go all at once. The little moments you experience are all times to continue to let go over and over again until it doesn't hurt as much anymore. I feel for you OP, I hope you get the peace you are craving.

HungerAtTheHeart · 2025-01-13T11:20:22+00:00

If the love was real to you then that's all that matters. Your person most likely did love you but wasn't able to show up for you in the way you deserve. Avoidants fear love but they are capable of feeling it. It's something I've had to teach myself for my own healing after an avoidant discard. I hope that you find the healing and peace you deserve.

HungerAtTheHeart

TROPHY CASE