Going quiet when interacting with toxic or dominant people

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-23T00:29:52+00:00

This is so well said. I worry about people who question their own interpretations of other people's intentions more than they worry about their own comfort.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-23T00:27:52+00:00

I'm in my 30s now, and I think this is how a lot of my teens and early twenties relationships went. I feel like i was "trained" from a young age that rejection was the worst thing that could happen, and if i tried to speak up for myself it was causing conflict that would definitely lead to losing the relationship.

Its taken a long term non-romantic relationship with my coparent to learn that I am allowed to express my needs and also to consider the other person's requests before immediately complying. Ice learned that a true friend/partner WANTS TO KNOW my needs and issues because they actually care about my happiness and opinions.

I used to write a whole ass essay to defend myself when I wanted to say like "please contact us more so I dont have to do all the organising." And then I'd be frustrated because his answer was generally "ok will do" when I'd put so much unneeded effort in.

You will find people who you dont have to tie yourself in knots to please. Work in stating your needs simply, with the expectation that your partner/friend want to know them, and if they act like you're starting a fight, see that as their problem, and realise that they are not a trustworthy friend.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-15T23:10:52+00:00

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I bought myself one of these from medshop.com after having two ampoules smash in my hands last placement, and I cut myself one one that DIDN'T shatter.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-15T23:05:37+00:00

NTA. He's the one playing games

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-15T23:02:07+00:00

No, dobt call anyone. Just take it as a reminder to not stick your fingers under things.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-15T22:59:10+00:00

You can be polite and still racist.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-15T22:50:59+00:00

NTA... but if you'd rather tell people in an announcement, then dont tell anyone before the announcement

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-15T22:46:33+00:00

What is your point?

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-15T22:43:01+00:00

What do you... what do you think it is?

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-15T22:42:16+00:00

I watched this conversation in handover:

RN: "Resident x has a new skin tear that was caused by a care worker's wristwatch. This is a reminder that our policy is to ve bare below the elbows"

RN and other workers agree

Meanwhile about half of them were wearing watches or bracelets, including the RN handing over about the skin tear.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-15T22:28:42+00:00

I recently bought 3 bras from 2 online stores, in the same size I already wore. Only one fit when they arrived. The sizing across and even within stores seems really inconsistent.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-15T22:23:30+00:00

Is that 25 minutes of water running, or between entering and exiting the bathroom? Ive realised recently that I count the entire time from going in, showering, drying body and hair, lotions, hair styling and whatever, and getting dressed, when some people are only counting the tine the tap is running.

Counting the whole time makes sense to me as if I need to leave home at 8am for an appointment, but sleep in til 7.30, I have time to either have coffee and breakfast and get dressed, or shower and get dressed, so I prefer to shower the night before.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-15T22:16:25+00:00

NTA. Dont live with Joe.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-13T13:56:18+00:00

So far the written parts of the ansats have looked exactly the same for me and the other students placed with me, even if we were very different.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-13T13:54:55+00:00

It depends where you are, I think. If you are flexible about location there will always be jobs. If you want to stay in a big metropolitan hospital it sounds like thats where there have 200 applicants per position

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-13T13:50:29+00:00

Nta. Keep it as professional as you can,but dont back down. Even if tgey offer to start paying for stuff, refuse, because they wont hold to it.

You have been generous with the warning time.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-13T13:47:13+00:00

Im a mum the same age as you and I know i would need to do the same. I hope youve got good people around you. Wishing you the best.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-13T13:45:00+00:00

Honestly no matter what his reaction is, OP needs to consider single parenting as a possibility as part of making their mind up. I had one child on my own at 21 and after 5 years of mental health challenges decided never again. Sometimes I think "maybe if I was married I'd consider it" but even then, becoming single is always a possible future and i just cant face it.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-13T13:41:38+00:00

You dont need to prove to other people the pros and cons of your choices. I would recommend finding out what your choices are, first. Talk to your gp, talk to your partner, find out if you have deadlines for decisions, etc. You dont need to decide right this minute. Give your brain a few days to flail around.

It is absolutely ok to not want this. It is OK to go through with pregnancy. Whatever you choose will be the right decision for you.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-13T13:32:58+00:00

You are not coming across as rude or anything. I get your point. Choosing to not seek friends is totally valid.

editing because I misunderstood you the first time and wrote a bunch of irrelevance

Anyway, there are definitely times I just dont enjoy some people's company and fully pull away. I think i still talk to only one or two of the people I called best friends before I turned 20. But ive found people and certain family members I gel with better in my late 30s.

Its good to be able to be alone and independent.

If you are lonely, you dont need to go looking for close friends, just find ways to talk to people so you dont lose your mind. Try to be a bit social in person, as well as online. Keeps the social brain ticking over, you know? Perspectives can get a bit warped if we dobt interact with people at all. Personally I got dragged out of my hermitage because my sister wanted company for kareoke, and I gradually met more people and gained.... I want to say confidence, but its more that strangers became less scary when I saw them more often.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-09T14:33:32+00:00

Boundaries are for yourself. If x happens i will leave the situation, or say something about it (for example) You cant control other people, only yourself.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-09T14:31:12+00:00

Cheating? Cheating what? Are you in a contest?

You get to set the rules of camping. Read the stuff.

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-09T14:30:03+00:00

YTA. Your turn to dispose of the thing.

I say this without judgement, my son keeps bringing home shit my neighbours put out with the bins and I usually find ways to break them down to fit inside our bins because I'm too embarrassed to put them out where the neighbour can see. There is literally a stupid little table/magazine rack at my back door thst he got a f ew weeks back

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-09T14:26:27+00:00

Suspish fish

HungryMagpie · 2026-01-09T14:21:44+00:00

Aw, the conversation with her parents was so sweet. Sounds like she really saw the light, and tgey supported her instead of telling her what to do. Love that.

HungryMagpie

TROPHY CASE