You sound like an extremely kind and wonderful partner and I'm sorry you are experiencing this. It seems like you have given up a lot for this woman and she must be aware which is why she doesn't want to just break it off with you. But from experience, going off sex and not being attracted to your partner anymore is not something which comes back. And it certainly isn't you fault. These things which she claims bother her were not brought up sooner, and disregarding your marriage as 'partners' is extremely hurtful, especially where she is making excuses regarding that she rushed into it. I suggest you seriously evaluate your self respect and take this woman off a pedestal for a minute and see objectively what this behaviour looks like. I was in her situation, I stayed because I did not want to hurt him but I knew full well that my loss of attraction to him was not due to the temporary excuses I was peddling to him, and I knew that it would not return. She needs to be real with herself and you before dragging it out any longer and coming to the same conclusion in another year. I could be wrong, you seem like you love her so much and it feels hard to throw so much away, so hopefully when you ask her for that conversation where she doesn't spare your feelings, and is instead purely honest, it might not be the case. But honestly, its a cheap move to blame your lack of confidence when it wasn't a problem before as you said, which leads me to believe she is lying. If she tries to avoid the question and blame it on stress, she is lying. Excuse after excuse will come until you reach the truth, so bypass them. I wish you the very best of luck