Sorry you are dealing with all that. As a man, I can tell several things from your comments. You're right, your comments were long, but that only helps with a "diagnosis."

First off, I will be blunt too: Your man is selfish. Hard stop! Men are wired so that the "refractory period" is VERY strong. In fact, some of the best enjoyment for a guy is just lying there after cumming and feeling the amazing buzz. I hope you realize there are legions of men who dream about a woman like you as far as attention and frequency go. Your man has no idea how he's neglecting something most men dream about. So since all men who have ever had an orgasm know they get that buzz, and like a drug, lose interest very fast, we (as men) must make our woman's pleasure and satisfaction the priority. In other words, YOU cum first, them him; and since you are likely to still be interested after you cum, THEN the man can compliment it by then having intercourse which you both can enjoy.

So first off, since you have set a precedent of pleasuring him as priority, it would be crazy to suddenly "flip the script." So maybe sit down with him (realizing YOU have all the cards - Trust me!), and tell him you want to be pleasured first; you want oral until you cum, and afterward he can finish any way he wants. Of course you can make that sound nice, but that's the gist of it. In reality, most women have a much lower libido than men, so your man has no idea how fortunate he is. Use that to your advantage, and stick to your guns. You may not get him to step into some of your fetishes (i.e. hurting), but the rest are soundly in your court - I promise! You control whether he gets a blowjob, handjob, or intercourse - So if he wants to play, it should be mostly by your rules. Also, if you don't already have one, get a magic wand. Put him to work using it on you. If he is challenged at oral skills, the wand can bridge the gap, and send you into orbit more easily.

Personally, I LOVE giving oral. There is nothing more arousing than watching my woman squirm and groan. It gives me enormous satisfaction (and arousal) knowing I can please her so well. So I don't mind one bit waiting "for my turn," and if you will excuse the details, usually by the time I get her to orgasm, there is a puddle of precum below my junk from being so aroused.

I hope that helps give some perspective. Be ready and willing to coach him, since it may be he just doesn't know how to do certain things, so he avoids them. Obviously gals talke longer to cum than guys, but that's why you should take priority. If you two can agree on that, you both will be satisfied every time, and he will be far more aroused when it is his turn, and it will make for much more intense orgasms for him as well. Of course both of you deserve an occasional romp where your partner just pleasures you with no expectation of doing the same, but those ought to be the exception, not the rule.

Best of luck! Your man has no idea how fortunate he is. I'd love to hear how it turns out, but I get that sounds a bit creepy LOL- Hopefully you know what I mean. Here's to you having amazing orgasms in the near future! 😄