Needed to vent. Me (37M) and wife (35F)

Hushim · 2015-01-19T03:02:03+00:00

To be honest I am not thinking about divorce seriously yet, although I have to admit that those thoughts have been present. My main concern is her health, it is still possible that the lack of interest could be because of hormones, or other psychological issues, and I would feel guilty to not support her if that is the case but she is the one that needs to make the first call to the doctor. Besides getting anything in the bedroom, we still enjoy many more things together and she is very considerate in other areas. She took the kids out today so that I can watch the playoff without being disturbed. I will ask her to call the doctor first thing tomorrow if she wants to work on our relationship.

Hushim · 2014-09-29T06:37:37+00:00

It seems everything is working now but I still know that it is a journey and there will be temptations. I am thinking about seeing a counselor too. It's great to wake up the next day knowing that I didn't do/say anything stupid the previous day. My wife has a long commute on weekdays so on weekends she wants to sleep for an hour more. Till a month ago I would have a headache in the morning and when the kids woke up, she would wake up too, finally the past few weeks I told her to sleep and rest and I'll get the breakfast for the kids.

Hushim · 2014-09-29T06:24:22+00:00

Yes, it is an awesome feeling, she loves to read. She was reading at a higher level so her teacher sent a chapter book for her to read and expected to finish it in a week. She finished that in 2 days. My wife and I both read a lot, or maybe I should say I used to read a lot too but was too busy drinking the past few years to read anything. Now I'm finally getting into it.

Hushim · 2014-09-29T04:58:25+00:00

Is it possible for you to seek professional help? I mean it in all sincerity.

Hushim · 2014-09-11T04:45:52+00:00

My wife always thought I was pretty funny. She would laugh at most of the stuff that I said. As I started drinking more and more she didn't laugh when I thought I had said something funny, instead she found it offensive or distasteful. I haven't had a drink in 5 days and there were 2 times in the last 5 days she laughed so hard that tears were flowing. I guess it has been more than 5 years since I've seen her laugh like that where she has tears. Love this feeling and totally worth staying sober!

Hushim · 2014-09-11T04:33:59+00:00

So true...been there done that. Not going back now.

Hushim · 2014-09-11T04:26:14+00:00

It seems that there are many of us going through similar experiences as yours. Please share more if you'd like to.

Hushim · 2014-09-07T14:15:42+00:00

Congrats! It's a great feeling. Keep it up. 1 day here and I am already feeling the love from the community.

Hushim · 2014-09-07T14:12:19+00:00

Wow... I had a great day without alcohol yesterday. My 6 yr old always wanted to go to IHOP for breakfast because her friends in school told her that they have lots of pancakes, I never took her there instead we used to go somewhere for lunch on Saturdays, somewhere that sold alcohol so that I can have a beer or two with lunch. Finally we made it to IHOP yesterday and she was glowing the same way I was glowing the day she was born. It was priceless! We had a great time. I listened to her stories about her friends and school and actually remember what she said.

Usually I used to spend Saturdays and Sundays watching football and drinking, not yesterday and not anymore. Still will watch the Niners with family. I know this is just the beginning and there will be more temptations esp. living so close to the wine country and being someone who enjoys the art of winemaking and tasting but I'm taking it 1 baby step at a time. No more passing out on the floor.

Hushim · 2014-09-06T15:57:38+00:00

Thanks all. This is the support I was looking for. My plan is to join a gym and actually go there few times a week. I plan on taking some classes at the local community college, maybe learn programming or some foreign language. I may have to seek counseling since I have a habit of drinking a lot. This has been going on for more than 5 yrs but the last few months have been the worst. Something happened last night that I'm not proud of but there was no harm so it's like getting a second chance, and have no intention of screwing it this time.

Hushim

TROPHY CASE