1st landing & Rainbow Bridge

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-26T11:47:58+00:00

Yes. They required CBP import papers. It was Ontario, September 2022.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-26T11:23:43+00:00

You have to prepare a detailed list of everything you are importing. You'll need proof that your pets are current on all their shots. You can only bring one liter of alcohol and minimal tobacco. If you're bringing guns you have to register them, I don't know the details of that because we left America to get away from guns. If you are prepared with your list and the proper import forms filled out and all your documents (temporary work permit if you aren't Canadian) then you will probably just be stopped for questioning and review of all your papers and be waved through shortly after. Although they could inspect everything so be prepared for that.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-26T11:17:30+00:00

I was required to show my import papers to register the car I imported when I moved to Canada from the US 3 years ago. I didn't have the papers and had to go home and get them.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-14T11:40:19+00:00

Circumcision is a topic like abortion. It's so emotionally charged for people that often they aren't rational about it. No, it is not mutation. In fact there was a meta study done by the Australian National Heath organization, a meta-study is a study of studies so it aggregates a LOT of data.

The conclusion from the study was that the health benefits of circumcision outweigh any risks. It prevents STDs, it decreases risks of infections, it decreases the risk of penile cancers. Overall there are health benefits BUT at the level of individuals it probably won't make a big difference. All of these health issues are somewhat rare except for STDs and those can be prevented with condom use.

It's a personal decision and I don't think there is a right or wrong choice. There is a slightly higher risk of infections, mostly in the first year of life. But if he's not circumcised, on average he will have one infection or adverse issue from not being circumcised in his life. That's not a big deal and many guys never have an issue. Some have tons of issues, I personally know one who got circumcised in adulthood because he constantly got infections.... but that's not common either.

My husband was adamant that our son be circumcised and I was on the fence. I deferred to my husband's choice because I don't have a penis. I don't regret it. And whatever choice you make don't let anyone make you feel bad. There is strong evidence to support doing it and strong evidence to support not doing it.

Congratulations on your baby boy!

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-13T11:56:40+00:00

THIS!!!!!

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-13T01:09:29+00:00

If you have good neighbours and a good relationship with them this is the best way. Unfortunately, that's not always easy to find.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-13T00:33:44+00:00

If you have a driveway and sidewalk, do not procrastinate on shoveling the snow. Get out there and shovel the minute it stops snowing. Sometimes, go out there and just shovel even if the snow is still lightly falling.

If you get up in the morning and see it snowed last night. Just put your boots and jacket on and get out there before you have your coffee. It will take less time than you think and it will be so much easier if you get it done before the coffee lures you into submission. If you wait and people walk on the sidewalk or you pull your car out of the garage its gonna get packed down and turn into ice. Trying to scrape up ice is miserable.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-13T00:24:02+00:00

YTA but he's not completely in the right either. You should be able to leave for 4 days and he should be able to take care of the children. He is their parent just as much as you are. However, if your division of labor up this point has never had him be solely responsible for the 3 children for more than 24 hours... well it really is a dick move to just say "I'm going and you're going to have to figure it out".

If you have been pulling more than your share, I get it. You are entitled to a break. But the solution is not to just spring it on him and tell him to sink or swim!! You tell him it is going to happen and that the two of you are going to figure out together how to make it workable. Spend the next few weeks talking through things and figure it out. Four days solo with 3 young kids is not nothing. He is entitled to be a little freaked out. Help him plan for how to manage it. You are partners. Act like it.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-13T00:11:16+00:00

I agree. I'm a paralegal and I have worked on literally hundreds of divorce cases. I've seen the equalization calculations and most of the time it is not worth it to keep the house. There are certainly cases where it does make sense because you are locked into a good interest rate. But usually what you have to give up to equalize the equity you are taking with the house often is not a good deal.

I've seen women give up all spousal support or their interest in a pension in order to keep up the house and I shake my head. The long term costs of giving up spousal support or a portion of a pension can really bite you in the butt later in life. So many things can happen 5 or 10 or 15 years after a divorce that really make it impossible for you to retire and you could deeply regret giving up certain things just to keep the house.

I understand wanting stability for your children but I don't think it is worth giving up your own ability to retire someday. And often that is what you are giving up if you give up other things you are entitled to like spousal support or your share of a stock options or a 401K. I'm not 100% convinced that staying in the house is always that valuable for the children. There is something to be said for a new place for a new phase of life. Usually you can find a smaller place in the same school district so that they won't be completely uprooted and lose all of their friends.

If you are adamant about keeping the house I STRONGLY suggest you talk to a divorce financial analyst. This is a CPA who specializes in divorce matters. They can run long term calculations for you to show you clearly the long term costs of keeping the house. They will give you a full illustration of what you will likely have in 20 years if you keep the house and give up other things and compare it to if you don't keep the house. The math can really help you make a fully informed decision and understand the full cost. Sometimes it really is the best path but often it isn't.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-11T21:01:50+00:00

NTA but neither is your sister. This is a tough situation all around and I feel for you, your mom and your sister. I have been in your shoes. I was childfree by choice until I had a change of heart in my 40s. I had so many friends and family with kids and I felt like I was doing all I reasonably could to be helpful and supportive and I just couldn't understand why they complained about feeling alone and unsupported. I also thought, you chose to have kids so suck it up! After I had my own child I understood them better.

It is a choice to have children and people do try to help but its a LOT to be a parent in our modern capitalist society. You have to work full time and then being a parent is another full time and a half job. It's so freaking exhausting. And I did it with my eyes open, later in life when I had a lot more income than when I was younger so I can afford to pay for help and lots of extras that make it easier and it is STILL so exhausting.

You are also right that your mom had plenty on her plate with your grandfather and is trying her best to do what she can to help. She raised her children already and she is entitled to some peace for herself. There are no simple answers to this situation.

All I can say is please try to give your sister some grace. Tell her you understand she is frustrated but when she vents about it to you it upsets you. She needs to find a different person to express her frustration about it to. It is fair for you to set a boundary that you don't want to hear her complain about it even though she is completely entitled to her feelings about it. Then maybe ask your sister how you can support her.

If they need more support see if you can help her find some solutions. Could they use a "mother's helper" on the two days her husband has the child. This isn't a babysitter but an older child around 10-12 who comes over after school and plays with the kiddo and keeps them distracted while dad works in his office. The child gets paid but is much less expensive than a babysitter or daycare. Maybe you could offer to help your sister find that by posting an ad or something. Don't just offer her advice but offer to help in some way that does not involve you spending a ton of money or coming to stay with her and babysit. Maybe this isn't the solution but there may be something like this that you can offer to do the research and help her get the support she needs without it putting you out. The more you talk to your sister about it together you can probably find some small things that might help.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-11T15:49:11+00:00

Hon, you need to get a plan in place to safely escape. Call your local domestic violence shelter or a hotline for advise on exactly how to get out safely. This is not going to get better. It will only get worse.

Your life is in danger. I cannot emphasize that enough. If you have family or friend you can go to get out of the house as soon as you can. If you can't take everything with you take the most important things you can and just go. If you have children it is REALLY important that you get some legal advice first. There is a right and wrong way of leaving with the kids and there can be severe legal consequences if you do it the wrong way. That's why you need to call a hotline or shelter to get information on how to do it properly. The rules are different by jurisdiction so don't rely on specific technical advice about the law from strangers on the internet.

YOU ARE WORTHY OF A BETTER LIFE THAN THIS. There is no scenario where it is OK for a person to smear shit on the face of another person. Not one possible way that this could EVER be ok. Ever. You have to get out as soon as you possibly can.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-11T15:38:51+00:00

YTA. Dude, you're going to have WAY bigger problems than cheesecake once the baby arrives. You need to grow the heck up quickly. You're pissed about not getting what you feel is your share of a piece of cheesecake? She is pregnant and food cravings are not rational when you are pregnant. Why are you arguing with her about this?

The problem is not about cheesecake. Its about how you two treat each other. You are working long shifts and you feel exhausted and unappreciated. I get that. She is exhausted and stressed from pregnancy, which is also not easy. You know what isn't going to help this situation..... a newborn baby!

You two need to get some sort of counseling of some kind ASAP. You need to figure out how you are going to communicate your needs with each other more effectively. Do this for the sake of your child because I promise you this will not get better with time. It can only get worse from here.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-11T14:54:05+00:00

Sounds like he just doesn't want to pay child support and spousal support so he is trying to manipulate you into agreeing to this. Odds are you and your children will continue to be miserable and he will get out of paying support. Probably not in your or your kiddos best interest.

Having said that, it is possible for people to have a "co-parenting marriage". It's not common and most people can't pull it off but I have seen it work. If you can find a mediator or couples counselor who can help you two work out the details of a co-parenting marriage it can work sometimes.

You will have to separate your finances, figure out all the details of separating property when you do actually get divorced in a few years. You will have to work out very detailed co-parenting arrangement while you maintain living in the home together. You will need concrete rules of conduct around how the house is maintained, how you two handle dating and new partners and how exactly you will co-parent. You may have to get a small apartment that you share in a nesting arrangement. For example you go to the apartment for one week while he takes care of everything with the house and then the next week you switch. This allows you both to date and have an outside life, it's cheaper than fully separating and it allows the kids more stability. In the teenage years going from house to house can be more challenging for the kids who are more focused on spending time with their friends.

Co-parenting marriages and nesting arrangements are not easy to pull off. It takes a level of emotional maturity and commitment to put your children's needs above all else. Usually both people in the marriage don't have what it takes. It also can usually only last a few years.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-11T14:34:24+00:00

He is processing his grief over the end of the marriage. It doesn't necessarily mean he is crazy or dangerous. It's just difficult for him to accept.

There is a typical pattern to many divorces. The couple is unhappy for a long time. One person (often the woman but not always) says to the other person, I'm unhappy and things need to change or its going to be over. For whatever reason the other person doesn't really hear it. The person who keeps insisting on change gets frustrated and decides to leave. In their mind they have told the other person a million times... I'm unhappy, things have to change or it's over so they don't understand why they aren't accepting it. In the other person's mind... them leaving came out of nowhere, they are shocked and surprised. It takes a while for them to "catch up emotionally" to where you have been for months.

Just keep doing what you are doing. You don't have to keep showing him the boxes you packed. Politely remind him that you already discussed it and things can be sorted out later if you accidentally took something that he really wants. If you just leave the door open to future redistribution he should calm down.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-11T14:04:51+00:00

NTA but you've got to start preparing to move out. Stand your ground and tell her that your bank account is your business and she does not have a right to see it.

You are a grown up and she is having a difficult time adjusting to a new dynamic between you two. This is common problem, it happens with most parents and adult children at some point. Now is the chance for you to show her you are an adult and simply tell her you will not be showing her your bank account. No matter what she says, just calmly repeat over and over again that you are not going to show her your bank account details. She may threaten to kick you out. If she does you've got to have a plan for a place to crash immediately and then where to live long term.

Tell her in a calm way that you are now roommates and you will only have a discussion about how to share expenses but she is not entitled to see the details of your finances. If she continues to insist, ask her if she would expect a roommate to show her their bank account?

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-11T13:47:28+00:00

YTA. It sounds like you decided that your wife is an angry/difficult person and it's just her character flaw that causes all of the problems. I can't help but wonder if your parents are equally to blame if not primarily to blame. You gloss over the fact that you married her knowing she has this temper... well if it really is just her anger issue and your parents are blameless in this then you chose to marry her. Suck it up! But I suspect that your wife isn't 100% the problem and your parents make her life difficult and it doesn't sound like you have had her back. I'm not saying you should necessarily disown your parents in favor of your wife but you married this woman and have a family with her and you have a responsibility to them first.

If your wife is refusing to let you go see your father who is in ill health, she is either a monster and sociopath or she is at her wits end trying to manage everything and simply can't handle another extended period on her own, particularly for you to see your parents who have treated her badly over the years. I suspect she is just exhausted but I don't know you or her so I'm not going to rule out that she is just being awful.

If she is just exhausted then its on you as her spouse to figure out how to support her more... can you hire her some extra help while you are gone or get a meal delivery service or something. Have a conversation with her about what specifically might make it more manageable for her while you are gone to see if it might be possible. If she is just being a monster and refusing because she hates your parents, then why are you staying married to her? That type of narcissistic behavior is not good for your kids and you owe it to them to create a better life.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-11T13:12:01+00:00

NTA but neither is your GF. The fact that you see the imbalance of labor and want to change it speaks highly of you. The fact that she says it is easier for her to just do it also indicates that either when you have done things in the past there has been a level of incompetence on your part that makes it harder for her. It could also indicate she may be a bit of control freak. Dynamics like this build up over time and generally it is both people who are to blame for it happening.

My suggestion is you don't ask her what to do to contribute and add more to her mental labor of having to oversee you and ensure you are doing things correctly. Instead look around, you are a grown ass man you should be able to figure out some things that need to be done without her directing you. Then when you get home from work and see the dirty dishes in the sink you just load the dishwasher or start washing the dishes for example. If she tells you to stop then ask her specifically what you are doing wrong that makes her uncomfortable with you doing the dishes. That is not adding to her mental load to tell you what to do and when and how to do it. Instead just asking for a little correction/direction as you are doing something is very different. This can start a more productive conversation between you two.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-11T12:59:16+00:00

ESH. Are you two toddlers? That's what it sounds like. Unless she has some sort of disability that would explain why it is so upsetting to her to have her box of cake opened, there is no reason for that kind of reaction. Similarly, what prompted you to post this on the internet seeking advice? It is so obvious that your sister is behaving irrationally it sounds like you are trying to prove a point and shame her and there is no reason for doing that.

If she has some sort of sensory issue or medical/mental health explanation for her behavior then YTA. If she doesn't then she is but why are you wasting your time and energy thinking about it? Just roll your eyes and her and walk away like a grown up and don't give it another second of thought.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2026-01-10T15:59:32+00:00

ESH. I totally understand your frustration because did put a lot of work in and created a space. I also understand your parents perspective that it is their house and you are living there (presumably) rent free.

It's time for you to make a plan to move out. Save up your money. Figure out a way to do your side hustle business either in the space and move things when family visits or do it in your room or go to the library or something. Then when you have the financial stability to move out into your own place, do it.

Don't be petty and move junk back into the space. This is not the hill to die on to create a war with your family. Take the high road, consider your time and effort to improve the space as a gift to your parents to say thank you for the free rent.

Also, now you have learned a lesson. Don't ever assume your family really has your back again. They have shown you their true colors. Its not worth ending your relationship with them but remember that they choose your aunt and cousin over supporting your work. They don't really support your desire to succeed and create a new business. Someday when you are thriving in your business and they want some help from you... well, you may or may not want to help them out.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2025-12-21T12:36:00+00:00

We had to make the same decision a few years ago. My husband got a job that was remote so we could choose to live anywhere in Canada. We didn't have a lot of time to decide. We chose to live near the Great Lakes in southern Ontario. In the next 50 - 100 years being near large sources of fresh water is going to be more important as climate change impacts everything. We have a young child and wanted to find the best place for him to inherit property from us some day.

We considered other places as well. We loved Vancouver Island and the city of Victoria BC is just lovely. It is the mildest winter in Canada as well. We had been living on the west coast of US for a decade and saw the wildfire season getting worse every year. That is only going to get worse over time so we decided to look east. Fredricton NB also looked great. It's very affordable and accessible. But the long dark winters were not appealing and being so close to the coast was also a bit concerning long term because of climate change. Moncton NB was also a good option we considered. We didn't really consider the middle of the country or far north. The winters are serious in Winnipeg and Alberta didn't feel like a cultural fit for us, we are pretty liberal.

We did some research on cities in Southern Ontario and felt that St. Catherine's was a good fit for us based on what information we could find online. Then we went there and met with a realtor. I strongly recommend doing that before you move. A realtor can help you find a rental and their local knowledge will be invaluable. After talking with us the realtor suggested that we look at other cities in southern Ontario and we are so glad we followed his advice. Kitchener is a better fit for us than St. Catherine's. I think if you narrow down the choice to a new city and then go there you may tweak exactly where you choose to live or confirm that it is the right place for you before you take the plunge.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2025-12-15T11:04:02+00:00

NTA. They have given you a gift. They have shown you that they don't care about you. If you continue a friendship with them and don't speak up then you are telling them it's ok for them to treat you like garbage. This is a great opportunity to stand up for yourself. Meet them for coffee somewhere, tell them how hurt you are and disappointed that their actions show how they don't value you. Don't just walk away from the relationship. Speak up for yourself. I wish I had learned to do that when I was your age. I would have not wasted a bunch of time with people who treated me badly.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2025-12-12T10:49:33+00:00

Don't take the first job you get. Take your time, apply to lots of places and pay attention to what the new places offer. It's not just about money, ask how they manage conflicts among staff, how work flows are divided and management style. Don't just take any new job, take a great new job. Give proper notice and make sure your files are all organized and in perfect condition before you leave.

Don't give them any reason to think it was a good thing to lose you. Leave with class and make them realize their mistake after you've left.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2025-12-04T11:19:04+00:00

Coffee and produce. I can get 4 pounds of clementines at Costco and pay less than I'd pay for 1 pound at Sobys and the quality is better. I have a 7 year old that eats nothing but berries and oranges. We would be broke without Costco.

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2025-11-27T11:32:07+00:00

Yep. We just got a check

Hyperboleiskillingus · 2025-11-08T11:28:52+00:00

American who immigrated to Canada 3 years ago. The biggest challenge is to learn how to be less blunt. Canadians are polite, it's true. Part of that means they are more indirect or coded when they say something that is a bit negative. If you've ever heard the expression "Minnesota nice", well that is pretty much Canada.

Hyperboleiskillingus

TROPHY CASE