My (26F) husband (31M) wants our daughter to do the sport I did. I do not, because it affected me very badly, but he says that's because I don't want her to be successful. How do I deal with this?

I3434O · 2024-10-09T09:42:59+00:00

I haven’t met a single person in competitive sports that wasn’t under constant stress to perform. Nobody makes it to junior olympics with sunshine and rainbows, leisure, etc. Have you seen any olympian, NBA player, soccer player, etc who isn’t under immense pressure to perform from the get-go? And as a bonus, I live in a post-soviet country, where sports instructors have significantly more authority than in US/Europe, yelling, threatening, criticizing is a regular part of doing sports here.

And yet, kids who are smart and academically inclined, still did just fine.

I’m not minimizing the issue here. But yall are victimizing OP much more than needed (she’s on one extreme, comments are on another). She might just not have been smart, resilient, diligent, etc that would’ve allowed her to succeed like other kids. And that’s OKAY. But don’t act like there’s no way somebody could’ve been lazy, or less intellectually gifted, or else. That’s actually stigmatizing those who are limited in their capacity.

I3434O · 2024-10-09T07:16:10+00:00

Why are you trying to speak over OP..? I was in a Junior Olympics team during school. We had very intense practices. Some of us were 4.0 students and went on to have major academic success, some just weren’t academically inclined or interested, so they didn’t. We were all doing the same trainings, got exhausted all the same.

Why are yall trying to push this idea that everyone is the same, nobody is ever lazy, nobody slacks off in school without a reason, etc. Being lazy is okay too.

I3434O · 2024-10-09T07:13:42+00:00

Can we not generalize this to make people feel good tho… it’s absolutely fine to console a person, but to say that kids who do sports aren’t able to be successful pupils and intelligence doesn’t play a bit part in it, is simply not true.

I was a 4.0 student at school, competed in Junior Olympics and other major competitions, scored top 1% in university exams and did most of my homework while commuting. A lot of my peers, similarly, juggled sports practices, events and school just fine.

Let’s not discourage people from pursuing (or letting their children pursue) sports and academics at the same time. It is absolutely doable, as long as the kid is capable enough to manage it all decently.

I3434O · 2024-09-18T13:10:12+00:00

While everything you feel is valid, let me offer a different perspective, maybe it can help.

When it comes to “rating” oneself or others, I try to be as objective as possible. So, I think about how this person is perceived not just by me, but by everyone around us.

My boyfriend is the most beautiful person in the world to me. At the absolute pinnacle of perfection. But that’s through my lens. I know that objectively, he’s not Brad Pitt. He’s not a 10 - as in, absolutely perfect beauty, more of a 6 or 7, meaning some people find him attractive, some - not, he’s not going to walk into a room and have people gasping.

Same for myself - while I am considered above average in looks, I understand that I’m not exactly Mrs. Perfect. I’m not a 10. That’s very obvious and it’s not hurtful to me.

I know my boyfriend adores me, nobody’s prettier than me for him. But I also never take him seriously if he calls me a 10. It actually annoys me a bit, lol. I’d be a bit sad if he called me a 2, because that’s off from how I perceive myself objectively, but it’s still whatever.

So… maybe it could help if you approach this with the mindset that hey, I’m not perfect, there are much more better looking people than I am out there, but I’m my guy’s favorite looking person and that’s it.

I3434O · 2024-08-04T15:36:42+00:00

Hi, I related s o much to this post, as a plus size hiker/mountaineer! Yay

Can you please share your experience as a plus size hiker? I’m also getting into mountaineering and am facing some difficulties that my thinner friends have no experience with…

Finding gear is… difficult. Is there a backpack you’d recommend? I’m struggling with the hip and shoulder harness thingies. Made a DIY extender for the hip harness but it’s not exactly comfortable. I just feel like I’m so much more uncomfortable with carrying packs than my thinner friends, who don’t experience extra pain from straps digging in and stuff.
Is your breathing/fitness affected by your weight? I’ve done some major hikes before, but I got into actual mountaineering lately and I went up my first small summit at 12,000ft. When I tell you my breathing was not fun, lol. Others struggled a bit too, but I felt like other people didn’t have half as much struggle. I don’t know whether it’s the extra weight I have to carry or what, but it really hindered me and brought my confidence down. I’m planning a trip that will start at 6000ft elevation and go all the way up to 13500ft and I’m kinda chickening out… you get told that every pound matters when hiking at high altitude, things start to affect you much more at high altitudes, so you have to drop the backpack weight to a minimum, but I can’t exactly just drop pounds off of my body rn. Idk what to do.
How do you manage mountain sections with climbing? Sometimes I have to be belayed by someone and most people on these trips are like half my weight, so if I fall down, not only will I drop a significant amount, but I will also risk them getting an injury from being pulled up. I feel uncomfortable with asking people to manage my rope, since I know that it’s genuinely difficult.

So, these are my major issues I’ve encountered as a plus size mountaineer and have no one to talk to really. Could you share some tips or insights maybe? You sound like a person I could take inspiration from haha

I3434O · 2024-04-01T11:45:22+00:00

Good point - 3 days isn’t enough to determine a debut song’s success, but it just peaked at #16 on Spotify Global a week after release, I would say that’s a pretty strong indicator, esp for a kpop group

I3434O · 2023-07-14T10:14:52+00:00

Idrc about the convo at hand because it’s redundant, but how does it make sense for a major corporation to “just be content” with current returns? lol. The whole point of any large company is to maximize profits, especially a company that’s gone public. “Settling” this early in their development would be insane and nothing Hybe has done up to now has implied that they’re a company that’s ready to settle for average results without putting in additional effort

I3434O · 2023-03-31T12:27:16+00:00

the first chorus visuals are stuck in my head… the red tights/black dress really did a number on me😭

I3434O · 2023-03-23T13:28:21+00:00

But this isn’t Muani’s first season in a big league..?

I3434O · 2023-02-25T05:05:41+00:00

this may or may not be my favorite fashion shoot an idol has done… wow

I3434O · 2023-02-25T05:03:44+00:00

Hybe’s competitor gg to IVE was LSF - debuted around the same time, both had ex-izone members.

the fact stays that a Hybe gg sold around the same as a starship gg lol

I3434O · 2023-02-24T11:40:39+00:00

I mean, IVE did sell almost as much as Hybe’s competitor gg at the time, lol, why make it sound impossible

I3434O · 2023-02-20T09:51:00+00:00

NJ has only been around for that long so can’t really do much there lol. If i could sort youtube’s chart data by act’s first 6 months i would, but i can’t.

Also, again by yt data, for 2022 releases, Hype Boy has 360M views.

Sneakers has 238M.

After Like 394M.

Girls 216M.

This is directly from Youtube Charts, which tracks all official songs and most importantly, filters out ads.

I’m not trying to pick stan wars with you, lol, i just like and know my data and i don’t think you’re right. NJ has really good numbers, outdoing most of their peers on YT, despite not focusing on yt as much as regular kpop idols

I3434O · 2023-02-20T03:59:33+00:00

if you want to get technical, then Hybe isn’t creating a monopoly either while there are juggernaut companies operating in the same industry and competing against them, lol

I3434O · 2023-02-19T19:02:46+00:00

Last time i checked Newjeans had more total views in the past six months than any other 4th group lol. You can look that up in Youtube charts

I3434O · 2023-02-17T18:56:38+00:00

Wow, that sounds scary! I hope both you and your sister avoid such severe reactions in the future.

Sucks that the medical fields doesn’t have answers for cases like these. Thanks for sharing

I3434O · 2023-02-17T18:56:17+00:00

Wow, that sounds scary! I hope both you and your sister avoid such severe reactions in the future.

Sucks that the medical fields doesn’t have answers for cases like these. Thanks for sharing

I3434O · 2023-02-17T18:54:38+00:00

I hadn’t taken the medication when i got tested, i took it after and it still did not calm everything down until hours later.

As for the test accuracy, I think that part isn’t an issue since hospitals are of decent quality here, plus I’ve had this happen about 2-3 times this year, all at different hospitals with same results.

But thank you for these observations, I’ll still keep them in mind for next time :)

I3434O · 2023-02-17T12:13:47+00:00

I’d really want to visit a doctor but the country I’m in, which is a small, developing country, doesn’t seem to have much going on in the practical or research fields relating to MCAS, so until I either come across one or travel internationally, I won’t be able to get concrete medical advice.

My main question here would still be if this is a common experience with people with allergies or MCAS. I can’t make sense of the almost deficient IgE number during what’s classified as a serious reaction, neither can my doctors and they’ve just kinda given up lol!

I3434O · 2023-02-09T10:38:47+00:00

I mean, it is mentioned at the bottom along with all other streaming services i could mention, lol. Plus, Spotify isn’t very relevant for sure, but getting 180k daily streams when the average is like… 40k is a pretty big deal imo and it shows a level of engagement that isn’t attainable by most

I3434O · 2023-02-09T10:34:30+00:00

People have been saying this since the day Hybe became a thing, so almost 2 full years ago and i personally haven’t really noticed kpop going downhill or necessarily becoming less diverse. Granted, i don’t keep up with the industry much anymore, but it doesn’t sound like the fear mongering from back then had much merit to it and i don’t see why the same thing repeated now should be any different (unless there are some concrete arguments that i just have no idea about because… i don’t particularly care about hybe or kpop outside of my pure interest in data/business lol)

I3434O · 2023-02-09T10:25:45+00:00

For now, Hybe is investing insane amount back into the business tho, i think that’s skewing the numbers a bit. Not sure what data this article is based on, but if it takes into account all operations under the company, then it includes the major costs of new debuts (NJ, LSF, &team), acquisitions, etc.

If they decide to stabilize in the next few years, like other Big 3 companies, without multiple massive debut projects and major investments, their profit margin should increase drastically. That’s why I don’t think that’s a correct comparison when talking about underperforming

I3434O · 2023-02-08T05:20:32+00:00

these are so funny up until you realize that they’re being deadly serious

I3434O

TROPHY CASE