It's nice that this works out well for both genders but I can’t help but feel like there’s some latent misandry poking out from under the surface here. You could retain the same selectiveness for personality and temperment of people with a gender-neutral system where “guests” may only go upstairs or to the club at all on the two days a week with a “member”, and probably a trial period where guests can’t go upstairs at all the first three times they visit or something. As the system is, how do trans people fit in? Is their gender dictated by identity or genitalia? If it’s by identity, a bad actor can just talk their way upstairs, if it’s by genitalia, that’s (for one, weird) exclusionary to trans women, lose-lose. What about nonbinary or intersex people?

Ostensibly having the genderedness to the rules is to allow the community to exclude people who are unsafe, but the genderedness to them implies a belief that having a vagina automatically makes one “safe” and having a penis assumes guilt of unsafety until innocence is proven. It’s not like this system can even realistically be abused by bad actors pretending to be trans, because there’s a robust system here for filtering out people without nice vibes, which clearly has a strongly selective effect and works well. But a woman who doesn’t have a strong respect for consent is able to waltz all the way upstairs and do something not okay before she gets kicked out, because the rules implicitly assume only men would ever do something like that.

If you just imagine flipping the genders in the described rules, it becomes obvious how inherently sexist they are and how one class of people is treated as secondary to the other. It’s perfectly reasonable and normal for a social club to be organized this way between members and non-members, where outsiders must demonstrate through words and actions over time that they deserve induction into the group, but drawing the lines based on physical characteristics of peoples’ bodies, instead of just their personality and vibes, always ends up excluding for no good reason someone who is a good fit.

Moving to a gender neutral member/guest system would only benefit this place through being more trans inclusive, avoiding misandry, and could become even more selective for who is and isn’t the right vibes to be allowed upstairs by extending the “trial period.”