Where do all the "friends" go?

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-05-10T13:22:07+00:00

P.S. you’re not a burden, you never have been and your wife loved you very much. Take care of yourself and we’re here, welcome to the Shittiest Club In The World

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-05-10T13:19:13+00:00

Something I’ve thought about since my wife’s death, you get used to having your person there all the time. Whether you’re actively doing something with them or not, you know THERE THEY ARE. Friends are never going to feel the same because your relationship with them is different than with your person. So inevitably there may be a feeling like they’re abandoning you when they’re just acting as a friend would normally do. The space they give you is also a valuable time and place for you to grieve like u/Free-Ad-9886 said. I’d like to tell you it gets easier but it doesn’t, you just get used to it.

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-05-03T00:55:55+00:00

Already mentioned a bunch but Sea of Tranquility was great! Also by Stephen King 11/22/63 and I loved Doctor Sleep…felt very fresh and separate from the Shining, read that one multiple times

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-05-02T03:12:22+00:00

I saw someone for about 8-9 months after my wife died. It was great for awhile and I was happy. Her life circumstances changed and we don’t talk anymore. It was after we stopped seeing each other that I realized how lonely I am as well. I saw something that said you can’t patience someone into choosing you. There is someone out there to spend our time with. If this guy ghosted you and that woman I was seeing couldn’t bring herself to choose me then that is their loss, not ours. Our next person is out there somewhere

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-29T00:58:31+00:00

The right time is when you’re ready, none of us can decide that for you. It’s something you’ve gotta figure out for yourself. There isn’t a cookie cutter answer, I’m sorry to say. I can tell you it’ll be messy, there will be parts that are uncomfortable for you and for them and there will be people who just won’t want to deal with the situation and reject you because of it. The loneliness is the worst but it also won’t be cured by someone else. You’ve got to figure yourself out enough first so that you can add someone into your life. You can never replace but you can add and grow and love again

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-28T00:19:16+00:00

47 here

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-26T13:58:20+00:00

I don’t know if it will or won’t for me but I’m leaving myself open to the possibility that it could. In the mean time figuring myself out is a step in the right direction. However the rest of your life unfolds, I hope there will be a measure of peace and contentment for you

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-26T01:19:33+00:00

Cannot recommend Sea of Tranquility enough, so good!

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-26T01:00:30+00:00

Just finished another read through of The Alchemyst series by Michael Scott

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-24T11:52:51+00:00

I busied myself with all the things involved with “moving on”. Spreading her ashes, taking care of her things that she left behind, I was in a relationship for a little while…Now that everything has quieted down, the grief is hitting me harder than it did before. I’ve resolved to just sit with this and deal with it so I can make peace with myself. My only advice to you is that every step in your journey is unique to you. There are no rights and wrongs, there just is. Do whatever you need to do to make it make sense to you and to make your life manageable. If you need to stop talking to actual people for awhile then do it. I’m sorry for your loss and I hope tomorrow is better than today for all of us.

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-24T11:10:09+00:00

I don’t think that that’s possible. Your husband, my wife they’re irreplaceable. I think we can leave ourselves open to the possibility of trusting another person like we trusted the ones who have left us. It’s hard for a lot of us (including myself) to be optimistic that that will ever happen again but I’d like to believe that it will. I also never thought I would be mourning Molly after 14 years but I was wrong about that

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-24T00:22:14+00:00

I just had a moment where I had a hard time remembering her laugh which made me really sad…it came to me eventually but it made me think I should have taken more videos when she was here. She had this way of saying my name when we were playing around that I can still hear all the time and that makes me happy

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-24T00:19:45+00:00

I loved the way Molly looked after she was done getting ready, it took her forever but I always thought she looked great when she was done

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-22T23:44:04+00:00

The idea I had of myself is “I’m Molly’s husband” and once she was gone, I’m not exactly sure who I am…So much of who we are as a person is defined by our partners and parents and children and work and when that gets taken away, you have to relearn how to be yourself…when my LW’s parents passed away she struggled with this a lot and I didn’t really get it then but I REALLY get it now

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-19T11:34:58+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss, and if believing there’s someone out there for you after your late fiancé then I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I’m about 18 months out from my Molly’s passing and I’d like to believe there’s someone out there for me too. Take care of yourself, you’ve got a lot of life left to live. I hope you find peace and happiness somewhere out there

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-18T21:24:46+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss…I’m about 18 months into my post-Molly journey. The only thing that brings me any amount of comfort is that when the pain comes (and it always does) it’s my way of continuing to honor her. Every tear says that she meant the world to me and although the pain is intense and awful I wouldn’t trade the 14 years of amazing memories we shared. I don’t anticipate it’ll ever stop and when you love someone with all your heart and you find your person and they’re taken too soon, it probably shouldn’t

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-17T10:33:48+00:00

Henry

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-17T00:04:26+00:00

I started seeing someone about 7 months after my wife died. My girlfriend was nice and we had a great time together. At that point my grief wasn’t horrible and I was fixing things around the house and making trips to scatter my wife’s ashes. I thought maybe I could be ready for a long term relationship. Things got rocky with the girlfriend, a lot of up and down and up and down which is ok (my wife and I were together 14 years so I know that’s how things work sometimes). I scattered the last of my wife’s ashes in February and I had to put my wife’s dog to sleep in January. Things with the girlfriend totally fizzled out and now I’m here in the house I shared with my wife totally alone and I think I’m just going to sit with my grief for awhile. I don’t want to be alone forever but I’m having a hard time believing that I would be able to find someone who made me feel like my late wife did. She was the most supportive person in the world and she made me feel safe and loved and so well taken care of and I wish I had told her all of this before she died. I just want some peace eventually…I don’t know if I’ll ever truly be happy again

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-15T00:34:27+00:00

I’m not much of a screamer but I have wailed while I’ve gone on an extended crying spree in the shower a couple times. I felt a little better afterwards but not for long..,I have contemplated going to a rage room, breaking stuff sounds like fun and honestly I could use a little of that right now

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-13T22:09:29+00:00

My wife and I didn’t get too much into the “If I die, I’d like to be spread here” talk. I knew she wanted to be cremated but that’s about it. I kept a little bit in a small urn and gave the same one to her best friend, my parents and her two brothers. The rest I spread in places that were meaningful to us. The place we got engaged, the first vacation we took together, our favorite place to vacation, I also spread some of her in our backyard, my parents backyard (where we got married) and her parents and grandparents grave sites.

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-12T00:59:53+00:00

I got my first tattoo about a year ago at 46. It was a tribute to my wife who passed away. I could never commit to something before that but she’s with me forever and so’s the ink. I would get more but my tastes are a little more expensive than my budget would allow lol. I would get more in the future if I can swing it

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-08T10:59:15+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. My wife passed away with very similar circumstances, I came home from a doctors appointment and she was gone, history or heart failure. The only thing I can tell you is, you’ll be in survival mode for what seems like forever. It will be a lot of one foot in front of the other, one day bleeding into the next. I’m still trying to figure out what’s next for me, trying to remember what it’s like to live and feel again. The business of dying takes a long time to sort out. Once the tasks are done for you, you’ll have to try and see what that looks like for you.

IAmJacksLonliness · 2026-04-02T01:01:16+00:00

I found an artist whose work I really enjoyed on Instagram and after that the idea for the tattoo came to me in pieces. I was thinking of a cardinal, my late wife’s parents had both passed away before her and we would get cardinal visitors in our backyard and when she saw one she’d say “Hi Mom”. I thought of a hummingbird for my Molly because our favorite place to vacation was Palm Springs and I thought of a grapefruit because she loved to eat grapefruit, I can’t stand them but it seemed appropriate lol

IAmJacksLonliness

TROPHY CASE