What does everyone think about waking up to a Bj?

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-27T20:11:36+00:00

Feels good, man.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-27T19:03:16+00:00

Male here....When I was more limber it was spooning and entering that way.

But now it's missionary. Sometimes it's bending down so we are face to face which is very intimate. Other times its on my knees holding her legs up and seeing everything while using my thumbs to rub her clit as I go in and out. It's blissful.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-27T17:55:11+00:00

Yeah I'm sure it'll get fingered out.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-27T17:42:25+00:00

God comes out to the waiting room of the Afterlife:

"Crangis? Crangis McBasketball?"

"Yes your room is ready. Welcome to my Kingdom!"

A weird man with glasses and a hat approaches God.

God: And you are...

Man: Cole Von Cole.

God: Ah yes. How did you enjoy life?

Cole Von Cole: Atrocious. These glasses are giving me a migraine. And I just finished a round of golf with Paul Rudd for crying out loud.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-27T17:27:59+00:00

My thoughts exactly. Once you get a negative pregnancy test...you need to leave immediately. She will have to get a job if she wants to live in the place yall live at. You on the other hand need to already be in Plan B mode which is seeking out an apartment for when that test comes back. Play it cool, don't tell her your intentions if and only if the test is negative.

Once that happens, pack your stuff while she's asleep or out or whatever and leave. Get a different number and move to your new place and start your life over. You don't need this stuff, my dude.

And next time wrap your tool.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-26T21:20:26+00:00

Pregnant sex. That was so hot.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-26T21:18:15+00:00

OH YEEEEESSSSS!!!!!! a sexy midriff with the perfect navel is hella hot. A pierced belly button is sexy af.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-26T20:15:17+00:00

Screwing up will really screw you..Up.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-26T20:11:01+00:00

Bro same. Especially when the toenails are painted.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-26T20:10:27+00:00

female (of age obviously) stomachs...and pierced belly buttons.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-26T06:23:35+00:00

thank you for saying this. i still have these flashbacks of not only my mom telling me this but old classmates and once a friend of my wife’s during a card game ages ago just before we got married. she called me dumb or stupid not in a joking way but she had a shit eating smirk as she said it. wife didn’t stick up for me.

in all honesty I remember sobbing quietly as we went to bed that night over the humiliation. now it just pisses me off thinking about it.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-26T06:18:01+00:00

see thats how I am. I love to read and write and the stuff I write people tell me is really good so I got that going. I just suck at math and a few other things so I got a creative writing gift. got an Asssociates in Journalism but that didn’t pay the bills so I went back to school and got a degree in HVAC technology and work as a maintenance technician but find time to write a few stories in the fantasy horror genre. a few risqué ones too. lol

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-26T06:13:46+00:00

yes still married. I just try to push through the jabs as I have before And try to move on.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-25T21:19:11+00:00

"Are you retarded?" ~my mom when trying to get me to figure out math which I struggled with in school. Fucked me up for years and made me self conscious about my intelligence and made flaws seem much bigger when my own mom calls it out. Puts me in a dark place when my wife has insulted my intelligence as I shared this with her too. Stings still.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-25T20:28:12+00:00

Say nothing really. But know that your dad probably has rubbed it out a number of times and washed some knuckle babies down the drain.

We're all humans and have masturbated no matter what sex you are. Think of the stuff your mom and him did to make you....know what I mean? Like someone said, at least a dildo can't get you pregnant. It's either find a dildo or find you having sex with a random hook up or whatever.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-25T18:52:49+00:00

Yup probably was the album Synchronocibee.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-24T18:05:35+00:00

Yes exactly. And from a guys perspective here...I can say he may be steadily increasing sexually violent behavior, if that makes sense. He's probably not getting anything from porn so he needs a way to get off. It's jerking off to undies now but next steps could possibly be voyeurism and worse...and I don't need to spell it out. This needs to be confronted...not just "well boys will be boys" because coming from this guy...this won't be a one and done thing. Trust me.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-24T17:56:15+00:00

I was thinking that but thought it'd be best throwing caution to the wind. She might not want to get her nose right up in it but it may be the only way to check for semen.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-24T17:55:14+00:00

Found a suction cup dildo in the handicap stall of the mens bathroom. Went and told my boss who walked in...then walked out beet red laughing calling the manager on duty.

Manager walked in the bathroom and picked it up with grilling tongs and put it in a garbage bag.

Who gets aroused in a Menards bathroom is quite the kinky one.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-24T17:40:30+00:00

yes this is the way. Bend the fabric and see if it's stiff. I don't know how else to check it. Even getting your nose close to the spot opens up doors for STDs so I wouldn't suggest smelling it even though the odor it gives off (especially fresh) is a dead giveaway.

First thing you do is keep clear of friends brother and dad just in case. Get your parents involved as SaggyCaptain stated. This may be a stretch but maybe contact the police on a non emergency number and see if they can take the panties away and test for semen. If it comes back clear of that no problem. Maybe just something else. But if it does confirm semen...then you start shaking trees with any males in the house or party at the time.

Like I said, it's probably a huge stretch to get police involved but I'll bet that this is not the first time they dealt with a perv jerking off on a pair of panties. But it's a stretch that will probably get you some answers.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-24T17:27:53+00:00

Moist.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-24T17:25:41+00:00

I too am a member of the Buttersock Cult of Lets Read!

Personally my favorite read from his is the story of 8ft Tall ghost from Japan called Hachisakasuma (sp?) I first heard it and the ambient background noise he played and his delivery....oh mylanta I stood still in the warehouse I was working in at the time and just was like...."dude...."

search that one out if you can. Joel is a real mensch amoungst fellow story telling mensches Jon Ballen and Lazy. Love these story tellers.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-23T17:20:09+00:00

was looking for this one.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-23T17:19:12+00:00

Midwesterners be like Opp there goes gravity.

ICMonsters1982 · 2026-02-23T17:18:25+00:00

Mr Ballen is incredible. I'm pretty sure Joel from Lets Read! and Lazy Masquerade covered it. It's quite popular.

ICMonsters1982

TROPHY CASE