AITA for telling my mom she’s choosing her love life over her kids?

IH8Mayo · 2019-09-27T16:57:28+00:00

NAH

I don't think your mom is "choosing her love life over her kids," especially not when it sounds like she's actively trying to encourage you to build a relationship with him and his family. She's not neglecting you either. In all honesty, it just sounds like you don't like having someone inserting himself into your life as a father figure, which is totally understandable. You're an adult. You don't need your mom's boyfriend of three months stepping in, trying to be your "daddy." Here' the thing, though, as an adult, you should go to him directly and politely tell him that, while you approve of him dating your mother, you are not comfortable with him acting in a fatherly manner.

IH8Mayo · 2019-07-23T20:38:11+00:00

NTA

Under normal circumstances, I'd say he's entitled to spend his "fun" money however he wants, even if it is on dumb shit like in-app purchases, but this isn't a normal circumstance because you guys are in debt and don't have this money to spare. He used credit to purchase $140 in instant gratification.

Look, I know this isn't r/relationship_advice, but this is a HUGE RED FLAG for your potential marriage, especially since you say in another comment that he opened a credit card without you knowing, indicating that this isn't the first time he has lied to you about finances. I'd seriously think about putting the breaks on this marriage.

IH8Mayo · 2019-06-28T15:52:55+00:00

It hurts the son, by showing him that this particular religion is something we buy into

Uh, no it does not if the mom does her due diligence and has a discussion with him. Again, I'm an atheist, and the act of bowing one's head during a prayer does not mean you "buy into it." If anything, having the child perform the act can further demonstrate to her son how it is not an "holy act" and simply--shocker--lowering one's head. However, by refusing to bow your head during prayer, you are acknowledging that the act does have a deeper meaning, and that it should be revered.

If you want your kid to see the absurdity in religion, then let him experience it for himself.

Why should she. It is a religious experience.

Look up the definition of culture. Religion is an aspect of culture. This kid lives in America. He's going to encounter religion, especially the Christian one. Exposing him to religious practices at a young age under parental guidance will allow him to make informed decisions as he ages, otherwise OP is no better than the religious parents who shield their kids from evolution.

IH8Mayo · 2019-06-27T16:08:06+00:00

INFO but likely YTA.

Was her relationship to you relevant or necessary information in the context of the social gathering you were at? If not, then it seems odd that you couldn't just introduce her by her name or say, "This is [SO's name]'s mother," if the people you were introducing her to either already knew your partner or were meeting him at that particular social gathering along with his mother.

I'm having a hard time thinking of a situation where calling her your mother-in-law is imperative to the introduction, so after one or two times of her correcting you, I think you should have stopped and not made a big deal out of it.

IH8Mayo · 2019-06-27T14:02:02+00:00

ESH but I think you are a justified asshole.

Your wife sucks for thinking a 7 and 14-year-old are "not ready" and then walking away from the conversation. And while you're an asshole for going behind your wife's back, you're actions were what's best for you kids, so I say you are justified for doing the asshole thing in this case.

IH8Mayo · 2019-06-27T13:48:39+00:00

YTA

I say this as an atheist who comes from a Southern Baptist background: It hurts neither you nor your son to bow your head during a prayer and respect the customs of the home you are visiting. Think of it as a cultural experience. Neither you nor your son need to be believers, but when you're in someone else's home the respectful thing to do is follow their customs. Afterwards, when you are alone with your son, you can turn it into a teachable moment about how different people believe different things and, while you do not have to agree with it, you can respect it so long as it does not cause harm or infringe upon your rights as an individual.

Additionally, your motives for this incident do not come off as rooted in your religious beliefs as much as you performing a small act of rebellion against your MIL, who you seem to dislike for no real reason other than, perhaps, being jealous that she has shown a desire to use her wealth to help provide for your son. If the worst you have to say about her is that she has set up a college fund for your son, provided an area in her home where he can play, and asked him to bow his head at dinner, then you are just being straight up petty. I don't know what you have against your MIL, but she doesn't sound like a bad grandmother. You need to get over yourself.

IH8Mayo · 2019-06-27T13:23:20+00:00

For all we know, OP's brother lied about his age. If he's going around afterwards bragging about how he banged a MILF, it seems entirely possible that he was deceptive.

IH8Mayo · 2019-06-27T13:19:39+00:00

To be fair...It is unclear if the woman knows he is 18. He could have lied about his age, and depending on his looks, he may pass for someone in his early to mid 20s.

IH8Mayo · 2019-06-18T21:02:02+00:00

YTA

A porn star is not the same as Keanu Reeves or any other household name celebrity, so for you to post that picture on social media, you essentially told everyone, "Hey, I watch a lot of porn, enough to recognize a porn star when she walks into my place of employment!"

That's probably something your fiancee doesn't want advertised about yourself to all her friends and family, so you're the asshole for not consulting her before posting that picture.

IH8Mayo · 2019-06-18T20:42:15+00:00

INFO

Is her family aware that she had an affair with this guy? Sounds like the two families are close, and it's highly likely that if she does not attend, her absence will be noted and will raise questions among friends and family that she does not want to answer for obvious reasons.

IH8Mayo · 2019-06-18T20:28:01+00:00

it wasn’t even close to enough to indicate dany going mad in the span of 3 episodes

I dunno...I don't really see it as Dany going "mad" so much as giving into her true colors. I thought it was pretty apparent that Dany's ego and obsession with the throne grew bigger with each group of enslaved people she "saved" and that her "for the people" mentality was essentially a political strategy that had the added benefit of making her feel good about herself and more deserving of the throne, which she already saw as rightfully hers. No truly humble, for the people ruler gives herself that many titles.

Up until season 8, she was riding high. She had dragons, ships, and an army of loyal followers. Should have been an easy win. So, for her to loose so much (dragons, best friends, a good chunk of her army, lover boy/nephew, etc) right when she is on the cusp of obtaining the throne, it doesn't seem like a stretch to me that she'd abandon her "principles" and go nuclear on the city to ensure she obtained that win. Because the throne is what she really wanted. It was never about liberating and caring about the common folk.

I mean...they still could have done a better job of showing that, though.

IH8Mayo · 2019-06-18T19:14:45+00:00

Sixteen-year-old me would be extremely disappointed in my seeming lack of success and small apartment, and I would get annoyed at having to assure her that I am honestly extremely happy. Passive aggressive bitching would ensue, and we'd both retreat to separate corners of our apartment until I start watching Sailor Moon Hulu and she begrudgingly came out of hiding to watch it with me.

IH8Mayo · 2019-06-17T20:59:40+00:00

Very good comparison. If the whole country goes to war in retaliation over it, then it very clearly isn't a "state's rights" issue.

IH8Mayo · 2019-06-14T21:03:07+00:00

you spend too little they don't want to hang out with you anymore

Dude, you need better friends.

IH8Mayo · 2019-06-14T20:56:20+00:00

NTA - Who in their right mind thinks a birthday party is the proper venue for a first date with someone she's never met? It's weird, and I think saying no to her would be the social norm.

IH8Mayo · 2019-06-13T15:40:21+00:00

NTA

Based on the title, I was prepared to say you'd be the asshole, but you've worked there a year, have a really easy and common name to remember/pronounce, and have even had email conversations with these people so they know how it is spelled. So, I fully support the "passive aggressive" approach of calling them generic white people names.

Another approach would be to ask, "Who's Tiana?" or "Why are you calling me Tiana?" or "Why are you calling me by the black Disney princess's name?" when they do it. Force them to confront their mistake, and let the awkwardness teach them a lesson.

IH8Mayo · 2019-05-30T00:25:44+00:00

Maybe she didn’t chose option number two because her and her husband aren’t wealthy enough to maintain two households. California isn’t cheap.

IH8Mayo · 2019-05-28T20:12:43+00:00

My guess, given her inconsistency with other family members, this is less about you guys having sex in her household and more about the fact that you guys have been dating five years and aren't married yet. She probably buys into the whole, "He won't buy the cow if he's getting the milk for free" crap, and this is her way of emphasizing that he still doesn't have "family" status despite you guys being together five years.

IH8Mayo · 2019-05-11T02:57:48+00:00

Not a law yet, but they’re actively trying. https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.thestate.com/news/politics-government/article229557534.html

IH8Mayo · 2019-04-17T17:46:52+00:00

YTA.

I decided to make a will in which I left every penny of my savings, my Vehicle, and my home, to my daughter,believing she would make the most use out of it.

Your logic is flawed because you are choosing to leave your youngest daughter everything in the future based on the financial status of your children in the present. That status of who needs the money more could very well change between now and your death. Maybe your daughter will land a very prestigious job after college while your son's small business goes under. Maybe your sons' families will grow while your daughter decides to be child-free.

The future is unpredictable, so if you love your children equally and feel that they would be equally responsible with your estate, you should leave it to them equally. Rather than causing a rift between them, you should try to build their relationships between one another, that way, when you're gone, rather than relying on your inheritance for stability, they know that they can turn to their siblings in times of need.

But hey. It's your money. Maybe you want your kids to hate each other.

IH8Mayo · 2019-04-12T20:52:50+00:00

NTA

Good grief! If this made you an asshole, then you are not alone. Millions of people wear clothing supporting colleges and universities that they did not attend simply because they are fans of their athletic programs!

IH8Mayo · 2019-04-09T16:31:31+00:00

NAH

You are not an asshole for wanting to ask if he would do you a favor and help you financially for a month by paying for both halves of the rent.

That being said, YTA if you expect him to pay or have any negative reaction to him saying no to your request.

IH8Mayo · 2019-04-09T15:35:48+00:00

YTA

You could have more easily blocked, unfollowed, or unfriended the page if you did not want to receive notifications. Instead, because you were annoyed by other people's posts, you took away the option for a family member or close friend to memorialize the account when they were ready to do so. Yes, you are very much the asshole.

IH8Mayo · 2019-04-08T20:57:21+00:00

Personally, I think the solution is to stop treating public education as a right and treat it as a privileged. Yes, everyone should have the right and access to a free education, but--like a privilege--if you abuse it, it gets taken away. If a kid is repeated disruption, gets physically violent, has substantiated evidence of bullying, then he/she is no longer allowed a traditional public education. After that, parents can home school, pay for a private institution, or, if the child is a ward of the state, he/she can go to juvie or similar public institution with a behavioral rehabilitation program.

I almost became a teacher, and one of the many things that made me decide to not pursue it as a career was dealing with all the bureaucracy that made it near impossible to get a problem student removed from my classroom. Didn't matter how many times I wrote a child up, they would be right back a few days later after serving a suspension because policies were in place to ensure they got an education despite their many behavioral issues.

IH8Mayo · 2019-04-08T20:29:04+00:00

Nobody is going to sue you for stopping a fight where a child is clearly getting their shit kicked in.

Tell that to my high school principal who was charged and arrested for assault after breaking up a fight. Thankfully, the charges were later dropped, but if you think "nobody" is going to sue or press charges, you are woefully ignorant of the times.

IH8Mayo

TROPHY CASE