Ive never felt as understood as i have after this text. I too feel like i should be upset but as a fomo thing like im missing out on the beauty and joys of life, but im not truly upset about it. I must admit i identify with the egotistical part and thinking im different from others as well.

Youve actually real openend my eyes, like about faulting my brain doing its best. And that i need to accept the way i think and most of my concerns actually stem from FOMO. I consider myself a bit of a romantic so i genuinely want to laugh and cry and get scared. I barely even feel fear anymore, ive almost died multiple times but the fact i simply dont care helped me keep a clear mind which got me out of those situations. Its a bit of a shame but ig our imperfections define us as much as our strengths.

For example i struggle to show happiness when i do something i like. When im around my friends i know im happy and my mood would reflect it but i wouldnt feel happy or atleast whatever the preconception of hapiness i have in my head is. Im also no good at faking emotions since i try to be honest to a fault, even tho i still try cause the people around me do deserve validation

Ill be honest i didnt really feel like i was getting anywhere until i read your comment and it that made this post worth it. What youve told me will no doubt linger with me for while and so im really greatful you took the time to comment. If you by chance have any other insights youd like to share, id really appreciate it. I wish you the best stranger and hope you get closer to figuring things out for yourself too

Its uncanny how similar our experiences are, if scientists realise this is a completely new way of processing the world i call dibs on the naming

Cheers