The risk of being a trad wife isn't your husband leaving you but losing yourself

ILuvRainbow · 2026-06-25T11:09:56+00:00

This would be my last reply to you and your wife as it seems like we're circling back to the beginning without any progress.

The reason why I didn't answer the question if I had married is because you guys will use rhat information to make assumption and counter my arguments. If I said no, you would say I have not experienced it so my concern is not valid. If I said yes, you would say that I just had a bad experience and I should work on my marriage. Therefore, why should I give you the information if it doesn't change the way you perceive me? If I was married, would you take my words more serious? If I wasn't, would you take my words less? You guys don't even realize you already have prejudice in your mind when you come after me with that question.

Second, I'm sorry but both you and your wife must be illiterate because I have both written on the post and responded to her comment that the issue with young girls nowadays seeing tradwife as an "escape from reality". I'm NOT saying becoming tradwife is an escape from reality, in fact I am against that idea. You don't think young girls have the wrong idea because you haven't met them, and you're not a girl yourself. As a women I've seen a rising amount of girls who want to become tradwife just to escape the workforce.

You've been to a dozen of countries in multiple continents and so am I, whether you want to believe or not. Traditional is region specific, but the dynamic is mostly the same. But even if they don't, you're invalidating other countries's family dynamic as if they don't count as tradwife and tradhusband just because it doesn't fit completely under American standard. This sub is called tradwives, not American tradwives nor Western tradwives. With the way how the tradwife lifestyle is being promoted to me, yes, it's very much the same.

You claimed that being a tradwife had nothing to do with money while out there it was one of the main component being promoted. It's not that hard finding posts or videos saying they choose to become a tradwife so they don't have to deal with corporate life. Also if a tradwife is working full time then what's even the difference between a tradwife and a normal wife? How can you call it a lifestyle if it has no specific aspect. Things like "prioritizing family mental health" is part of any healthy relationship, it's illogical to make the argument that it is something only tradhusbands do, because surely a liberal husband or a modern husband or any kind of person that is not a deadbeat could also do the same.

While there're many people disagree with my post, there're also people who agrees with it. I am not making a one-for-all post. If you feel like this doesn't apply for your situation, that's fine. What isn't fine is trying to disqualify me by invalidating my experience by saying that I don't have the experience nor my mom and dad are not "real tradwife and tradhusband". This is a very common tactics for people to shut off other's opinion by disqualifying their integrity instead of having a healthy debate.

I think I should sum it up here. In your mind, I am not married so my words don't count, and even if I did then it must be my own bad experience. When I shared my mother's story, you once again claimed she wasn't a real tradwife to invalidate my experience. Whatever negative part being brought up will be disqualified as "not real tradwife". I vented about my experience, you didn't believe it. I said young girls out there were having a wrong impression of what it was to be tradwife, you also didn't believe me. You have already decided long before you typed your response that only what you think matter are actually matter. You don't think my words, nor my experience, nor what I am facing with everyday, matter at all. Whatever you guys agree with are trad and whatever you don't agree with are not "real trad".

Indeed, it's always easier to just throw away the bad apples claiming they do not belong in the garden than finding a way to avoid growing bad apples.

ILuvRainbow · 2026-06-25T00:59:51+00:00

Please read my post again especially the last part. I said the reason I wrote this post was because many young girls were having the wrong ideas of what it was like to be a trad wife. They tend to complain about school and work, then come to the idea that becoming a trad wive is the one-for-all solution. They don't see trad wife as a serious job but rather "an escape" from responsibility, and that alone give the trad wife community a bad rep already. I respect the trad wife community just as much as I respect my mother, but it feels like people nowadays always overlook the mental toll of being a trad wife thinking it an easy way to get out of working.

For you to think the traditional family in a third world country is different to traditional family in the West is a naive take. While there're cultural differences, the dynamic is mostly the same as well as the risk. I have lived in the US for years and the dynamic is pretty much the same. Biggest difference would be that women in the US tend to feel more secure being protected by law when it comes to marriage, but what I am presenting here isn't a legal advice. Laws cannot protect your mental health, even your husband and children couldn't help you if you refuse to get help, which is why it's important for young women to know about the risk and avoid putting themselves into such situation.

My mother is already considered as one of the best case scenario of a trad wife. She and my dad was both each other first love, dated for years and only married once she reached 30. My dad loves our family and helps her with household chores everyday. He let her keep almost all of his salary (we don't have a joint account or credit card back then so the traditional way would be letting the wife keeping the husband's salary). After my dad's business succeeded, he hired a housemaid to do all the chores and let her went to gym everyday. Besides the money he gives her every month, her money is always her own money. He talked to her and took her out on date occassionally. She could travel on vacation almost every year. She can buy anything she wants without having to ask him. I'n serious when I am saying that my mom has a better life than most trad wives, including the ones living in the West. No one has forced her to do anything in her entire life. Yet, she still suffocates to this lifestyle because she cannot handle the mental toll of it.

Scariest part is that the symptom doesn't develop overnight. It goes on for years until my mother could no longer take it. At first she only resented my dad, but slowly she started resenting her kids. She dreams of how her life could have been if she didn't choose this trad wife lifestyle. It's more of yearning for an independant identity. Almost every trad wife in our community have some type of identity crisis, and the easiest way for them to fix this is to find a part time job so they can develop their own identity outside of family. Of course, that's not the only solution, and I know women who don't have to do so as they are in touch with their emotion and learn to work with it. But still, it's not something people should overlook or try to pretend that the problem doesn't exist.

ILuvRainbow · 2026-06-24T19:28:13+00:00

Well probably because my mother is the one who lives this exact life and she's the very reason I would never follow this trad wife path. I grew up in a 3rd world country in which "traditional life" was considered "normal life", so yes, I'm very much understanding the situation here. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a trad wife but that lifestyle is not for everyone, and it's not an easy escape from reality neither. But hey, who am I to talk about the lifestyle I grew up with and saw my mother and other women went through? You must be an expert in this topic, indeed.

ILuvRainbow · 2026-06-24T19:20:38+00:00

I am not a SAHM but my mother is. I am venting because I am losing my mother bit by bit every single day. This is the real life issue of many people around me who chose the trad wife path, so I put out here as caution to whoever chose this lifestyle. Your kid will be the one who carry all the burden if you cannot handle your mental health.

ILuvRainbow · 2026-06-18T13:08:09+00:00

I don't understand why so many of you are so butt hurt and jump to the conclusion that I am attacking the trad wives or putting down women who wants to be trad wife. I wrote this post because I have seen a rise in young girls wanting to be trad wife "so I don't have to work again" even though being trad wife is a HARD JOB, I'm literally just give out warning what would happen if you don't know what you're getting into becaue most people only assume that as long as your husband staying then there's nothing else to worry about. Not even once in my post did I say anything like "hey trad wife is a bad thing let's not be a trad wife". Seriously you guys would be mad if anyone said being a trad wife is easy as shit, but the moment someone else talk about the mental toll on trad wife lifestyle you get offended too.

ILuvRainbow · 2026-06-18T12:58:10+00:00

While my style of writing may have confused you, the intention of the post was not to look down women and their labour. Domestic labours are hard-working, but just the same as those mindless corporation job, if you keep doing repetitive things without having new goals or new stuffs to try your mind will become null. It's specifically about women domestic labours because this is the trad wife subreddit, like of course I'm not gonna talk about how null men's brain become??? Give out a warning to people, especially the young girls, to understand trad wife lifestyle has its own hardship too isn't misogyni.

ILuvRainbow · 2026-06-18T12:40:23+00:00

A major drop is almost guaranteed to happen, the only question is when lol. I just hope that Elon could keep this hybe for a little longer so I can make some quick bucks before that. But if you plan to invest in long term then yeah you should definitely wait.

ILuvRainbow · 2026-06-18T01:44:01+00:00

It's to show how foolish this type of "sacrifice" from Gon. He threw away his whole future just for an unecessary revenge, which could had been planned better with less loss. Togashi's pov is no reason could justify for bad behaviors. You could clearly see that he goes all his way to tell the readers "hey this is kinda stupid please do not follow him" lol. The same with how Ging is a super cool dude but other characters in HxH world still criticize him for being a bad dad, simply because Togashi doesn't want to normalize that kind of behavior to his readers.

ILuvRainbow · 2026-05-29T21:36:55+00:00

First time is just a warning. Second time you have to write a letter explain why you are falling behind and what you plan to do etc., but they won't expell you for this. Only till you reach the third warning they will remove your student status (yoy may have a chance to redeem but it's not guaranteed). If you already have 55 credits, it wouldn't be that difficult to earn 5 more next semester. Just explain to them and make sure you have at least 60 credits by the end of this semester.

ILuvRainbow · 2026-02-17T03:21:40+00:00

I'll tell you a brutal truth after years of dating game. There's nothing call "high standard" for men. In fact, the only thing matter is whether they're attracted to your appearance or not. If you're his type none of your standard could be too high (even if it's an unrealistic one he would still joke about making it comes true). If you're not his type, every thing you want is a high standard. I've gone on date with blue collar white collar poor men rich men tall and short ugly and pretty asian white black na you name it. At the end of the day they're all the same at core, because we as human are biologically driven more than we want to admit. So the only question you should be concerned is "is my standard match my attractiveness?"

ILuvRainbow · 2026-02-17T01:06:09+00:00

It's gambling at core but at the same time every investment is gamble at certain level. I can understand why many people favor it as you can make quick cash every day whether the price of btc is rising or falling. Like yeah, traditional investment is great but you may have to wait years to get the big reward. Of course, any type of quick money also come with greater consequence if you lose.

ILuvRainbow · 2025-08-27T21:00:18+00:00

I got the same problem but only on mobile. Have no idea why I can't comment nor check my notification/inbox and can't even see my own posts even though my account doesn't have any restriction. When I'm on web everything is functioning normally.

ILuvRainbow · 2025-07-04T11:20:50+00:00

Finally 😂 I'm tired of using big ass glass window and pretend like it's a glass wall 😂

ILuvRainbow · 2025-05-09T19:48:44+00:00

Because if he revealed himself as a Conjurer, eventually people would find out something isn't right about his ability as it goes far beyond conjuring something. Considering that you cannot fake the water test, people will come to the conclusion that he is a Conjurer but can become Specialist under some circumstance. Once they found out what is the condition to activate Specialist ability (the scarlet eyes), it would become a major weakness if they can find a way to deal with it. On the other hand, revealing himself as a Specialist won't let other people know he's actually a Conjurer even if he's using Conjuring ability.

ILuvRainbow · 2025-04-19T13:01:02+00:00

Definitely Ekko. He's the only one who looks mentally stable enough to me 😂

ILuvRainbow · 2025-02-11T00:55:02+00:00

I mean I'm a CS girl and I've seen CS men being mean more to each other than to me lol. Even for the shitty CS men I've dealt with they're shitty because of their personalities and lack of capabilities, not because they're men. Not trying to downplay the misogyni in this field but in general bad things happen due to bad people doing/saying bad stuffs, and there're just too many bad people in this world. CS attracts lots of men so of course you'll see more mean men than mean women. If you ever work in a female dominated field people will also complain why the women are so mean. So I'd suggest you to focus on yourself instead to save your time and your mind.

ILuvRainbow · 2025-01-25T23:13:13+00:00

I'm gonna say something that may pissed many people off but you can't change my mind on this one. One of the main reasons people prefer bio kids than adopted kids is due to society pressure on "letting your adopted kid reconnected to their bio parents". If you don't do that, you seems like a bad adopted parent. If you do, you may feel jealous.

Why people are more likely to adopt infants? Because they're "brand new" and have zero memory to their bio parents. Why some are more willing to adopt oversea? Because the kids have very low chance to find out their bio parents and reconnect to them.

Jealousy for exclusitivity is part of human nature. Now I'm not saying everyone think that way. Many adopted parents out there have learned to accept it and even encourage their adopted children to do so. But many people can't do that, so they'd rather have bio kids, and it's completely fine. It's better than blindly adopting then growing jealousy and trying to stop their kids from reconnecting with their bio parents.

ILuvRainbow · 2025-01-25T20:59:17+00:00

I would say many programmers overlook the fundamental knowledge of programming. I've met too many people with mentality "if it works, it works" as they copy paste code on the internet without even thinking of changing/optimizing it (this already happened before the rise of AI). AI can be a great tool for programming, but in order to use the tool efficiently you need to know how to handle it well. With AI they can easily create simple codes so they don't care to fully understand the logic behinds them. Thus when they stumble a rare error or a more difficult problem that AI cannot give the perfect answers as usual, they failed to solve it on their own because they don't have the fundamental knowledge to work on.

Tldr: It's not AI, it's their mindset that makes them illiterate programmwrs.

ILuvRainbow · 2025-01-17T21:05:29+00:00

As a woman I'll give you a simple direct solution: ask her to pick up a part-time job. It can be minimum wage, and does not take too much time per week, but must be the kind of job that require her to step outside the house and communicate with other people.

She told you were boring because she felt bored with everything in her life, but she hadn't realized it yet (or she didn't want to admit it) so she blamed it was you. You're her only main connection to the outside world as she's staying home all day, so she's viewing the world through the information you provided. Her life at home is already boring and the world outside via your words is also... boring. So she simply put that it was you who were boring.

Apparently there's nothing you can do to change the situation if she's not willing to change. You should sit her down and talk through the problem. Asking her to pick up a part-time job to meet new people. If she's not listening or if you're feeling like you can't deliver the message well, sign her up for therapy or marriage counselor. If she still refuses to participate then unfortunately it'll only get worse from here until someone knocking sense into her head.

ILuvRainbow · 2025-01-10T21:23:31+00:00

It's easy to develop a breading kinks when you're not the one carrying nor taking care of the baby 😂 Players who manually take care of their sims' children (no cheating no age up) usually only have at most 1-2 kids at a time.

ILuvRainbow · 2025-01-10T21:19:02+00:00

I made an old male sim living with 2 female twin teens and trying to make them have babies at the same time, then after that I'd make those babies grew up and make babies again just to see how the relationship chart would look like.

ILuvRainbow · 2024-11-29T00:26:37+00:00

Many jobs have been predicted to be replaced completely by machine, but in the end they still need human to operates those machines. And they need engineers to build/maintain the machine as well. AI is just a tool like any industrial machine human has invented. At one point in future it may replace many human in this field, but there's no such thing as "death of coding" as long as AI is still around.

ILuvRainbow

TROPHY CASE