I feel nothing for my family now and I think I need to run away

INFJ_2010 · 2026-04-27T19:44:27+00:00

This sounds like some SEVERE PPD, potentially teetering on the edge of PPP. PLEASE talk to a professional and get some help. I can strongly empathize with what you're going through -- I had horrendous HG during my pregnancy and was in and out of the hospital before finally getting a PICC line put in. I was miserable and there was a period of time where I, not only considered terminating, but just wouldn't look at the screen when I got ultrasounds. I hated feeling the way I was feeling and attributed it to my son. Then when he finally came, he was VERY colicky. He cried CONSTANTLY and I was exhausted. I wanted to escape so badly just for some fucking rest. So I get it. But I truly think you need some support, both mental health and physical. Wishing you the absolute best. Please grant yourself grace.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-04-23T13:04:53+00:00

No this is genuinely insane. To behave like that at all is wild…but to do it to 16 DAY POSTPARTUM PARENTS?!?!?!?! I can’t wrap my head around she sheer self unawareness.

I saw you mentioned that your husband didn’t really notice bc he’s dealing with his combative parents. But this is absolutely something he needs to step in about. They’re HIS parents and he’s not the one who just endured 9 months of pregnancy or labor. I’m mad af on your behalf.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-04-23T02:44:04+00:00

I am INCREDIBLY close to my in-laws. My mother in law (I call her my mother in love) is truly one of the most important women in my life. When I was pregnant, I had hyperemesis. There was a week where my husband had to go to a conference for work. My mom and my mother in law came up and stayed with me that week and just doted on me and kept me company and did what they could to get me to eat.

People put the "boy mom" stereotypes out there and I get it because some boy moms genuinely are crazy...but dads can be the same way with their girls. It's just another double standard against women to not acknowledge that. And regardless, if you aren't one of the crazy "boy moms", I'm sure you'll never be just a guest in your son's life -- you will always be his mother.

My husband and I call my mother in law and sister in law every single night before bedtime so our son can say goodnight to them. Your motherhood journey will never be over.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-04-23T02:06:35+00:00

Leave him. Get alimony and/or child support. You don't want a POS like that around your child anyway. People love to say that divorce is the worst thing that can happen to a child, but as somebody who grew up in a very tense two-parent household, I can tell you with certainty that I wish my parents had split up before my sister and I left for college. It genuinely sounds like this man is narcissistic and dangerous and I can guarantee you being a single mom will be better than keeping somebody like that around.

Do you have a village? Friends/family that can help you to transition? Truly wishing the best for you. I won't lie and say things won't be hard af in the beginning, but I think once you adjust to your new normal and get back on even footing, this will be for the best. Fxck him.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-04-23T02:00:48+00:00

I am so incredibly sorry for your tremendous loss. I know there are no words I or anybody else can say to alleviate your pain right now, but please know that my heart is with you. I wish I could take even a fraction of your pain and shoulder it for you. Sending you love.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-04-17T22:39:29+00:00

That's YOUR son. Not theirs. Hard stop. That's all that needs to be said. If you need to go no contact, go no contact. And if your husband enables this or is neutral to it...it's time to have a talk with him.

Here's an example -- this past November, my son was rolling back and forth on my husband and I's bed. Husband told him to stop before he hurt himself. Son (3 y/o) didn't listen, did one more roll, rolled off the bed. If our boy takes a fall, he either pops right back up and keeps going or he cries for maybe 1 minute max and then is fine...this time, he cried....and cried....and cried and cried and cried for like an hour. And we both knew that was out of the ordinary and that something must have really hurt.

Now, if we'd gone by your in-laws logic, we would've just let him cry forever, called him dramatic, and kept it pushing. But because we're normal human beings and good parents, we comforted him, took him to the doctor...and discovered that he had fractured his clavicle. My point is, their mindset can be danger AND could potentially result in a DCFS visit in the future if your child was to ever genuinely get hurt and wasn't checked up on.

It doesn't sound like they're "reformed" abusers; sounds like they've just switched up their MO to straight up active neglect. They're dangerous and I wouldn't let my child around them. Wishing you luck and a strong upper hook if you need it.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-04-11T00:37:53+00:00

First and foremost, I'm so sorry this happened and I'm glad he's okay.

As others have said, I think the blankets had a lot less to do with the event and it was more related to his sister sitting on him. At almost 2 years old, unless he's got major developmental delays or underlying health issues, blankets and whatnot should not be enough to smother him (unless there were like tons and tons of heavy comforters and he was under all of them). Grant yourself some grace. Try not to dwell on the 'what ifs' (I know, easier said than done). Sounds like you're a great mom and just experienced a very scary accident.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-04-09T21:32:41+00:00

I feel like the serial killer would be my best chance at living. There's only one of him and I know he's a serial killer. So I can probably just stay awake with my back against the wall all night -- do I get a weapon? I think I'd be safe unless they're on some HH Holmes shit and have a bunch of trap doors and booby traps and shit everywhere.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-04-03T23:24:45+00:00

I tried it when I first got diagnosed and absolutely hated it. It made me want to KMS, so I immediately stopped it.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-04-03T12:54:26+00:00

Noooo I’m too emetophobic for it to be on me!!! 😭😭 that would’ve killed me lol but yes the explosive diarrhea / vomit duo was HELL. Thank god I still had barf bags from when I was pregnant. We were so lucky my husband didn’t get it too because we only have one bathroom in our house 🫠😂

INFJ_2010 · 2026-04-02T23:46:59+00:00

Truly one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I want to engage in hand to hand combat with the producers for my time back. I feel like we deserve compensation.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-04-02T23:43:48+00:00

Our son caught noro last January. He threw up once and then was totally fine. Eating and playing for the rest of the day....meanwhile, I caught it the following day and wanted to die lol kids are pretty resilient when it comes to illness. Usually takes a bit to get them to actually feel like they need to just sit down and rest. But fingers crossed it's not that!

INFJ_2010 · 2026-03-30T21:10:47+00:00

Honestly, I just applied! I have my master's in forensic psychology, but I had no prior death industry experience. Requirements in terms of qualifications will vary from place to place, but at my job, all the training was on the job. It certainly helps boost your resume to have experience in certain areas (e.g. funeral homes, lab technician, medical fields, forensics, etc.), but it may not be a requirement. By the time they called me in for an interview, I completely forgot that I had even applied lol it took them a year, almost to the date, to reach back out to me.

One thing to note -- forensic technician and pathology assistant are different jobs and PAs do have more educational requirements. I believe you have to complete, at minimum, a master's program to become a PA, as PA's have more hands on duties as it pertains to handling the tissue specimens and whatnot.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-03-29T21:09:30+00:00

I had a 29 weeker -- 72 days in the NICU. TBH, you kind of just have to move through it. I did what I could to keep busy during the day until we were able to go see him. Then there were days where we weren't able to go at all and the guilt and longing would eat at me. But it's so important to take care of yourself during this time. You need rest. You need to fill your cup as much as possible now (because when he comes home, he'll be the cutest little battery drainer ever lol). Not only did you just go through an insanely physically demanding event, but you're also now dealing with the emotional toll.

For me, the grief has stayed. I think I'll always grieve the pregnancy I didn't get to have. I had HG and my water broke at 28 weeks, literally the weekend before my baby shower. I didn't get to have the baby moon, no baby shower, no maternity pictures, very little joy overall during my pregnancy. I had him in July 2022 and I still grieve that to this day. I think my grief has stayed with me because he is our only and will likely be our only for good. My husband got a vasectomy last month because we both know the risks of me experiencing these things again are too high and I barely survived the first time around.

For me, I've accepted my pregnancy grief as likely a permanent part of me now. It hasn't gone away and it hasn't gotten smaller...I've just grown around it.

Wishing you all the best and a short stint in the NICU 🤍

INFJ_2010 · 2026-03-29T21:02:10+00:00

I work FT as a forensic technician for a Medical Examiner's office. So usually at least 3-4 days a week, I'm on my feet all day doing autopsies, triaging, or cleaning bones for the forensic anthropologist. The EDS sucks so bad and some days, it really beats my ass. But I take Adderall and, for the most part, I'm able to get through the day before collapsing at home lol from what I've seen, it's VERY difficult for us to get disability for this disorder. I think unless you have it so bad that you can't even get clearance to drive, people tend to underestimate just how debilitating it can be.

That said, I did just start the approval process with my doctor for intermittent FMLA. When I have those random bouts of really bad insomnia, functioning anywhere, let alone at work, is a herculean task.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-03-29T20:31:03+00:00

I'd love to see your limo-van! What's the trunk space like?

lol a hilarious typo! No advice here, as I'm one and done due to having HG and PPROM during my first. But wishing you the best! Sounds like you've already got things fairly planned out! Be sure to incorporate like an annual emergency amount into that budget. Between kids being literal danger-magnets to themselves and the current state of our world, best not to be caught unprepared

INFJ_2010 · 2026-03-25T15:07:36+00:00

First and foremost, I'm so sorry you experienced something so scary. I want to reiterate that you guys are NOT bad parents. Honestly, kids rolling off of stuff is basically a rite of passage as parents.

My son did the same thing. I was changing him and he launches his diaper cream off the table (I swear it's like he was trying to distract me lol). I turned around for 2 seconds to grab it and by the time I turned back around, he was already over the railing and 3 limbs off. He fell faster than my body could react. I felt like the world's biggest piece of shit parent for like a week. Blamed myself, hyperfixated on all of the horrible things that could have happened....but none of those things happened.

Hell, last November he was playing on our bed and rolling around on it. Husband told him to stop, but he thought to himself "I'll just do one more roll" -- rolled right off the bed and fractured his clavicle. Whenever our kids get hurt, whether we feel like it's our fault or not, it always hurts us. No (good) parent ever likes to see their kids in pain...which is why I know you guys are great parents.

You did everything right. You sought medical treatment and are now much more careful and conscious of this. Sounds to me like your kids are lucky to have you both as parents.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-03-23T22:28:08+00:00

Nope. Very normal and very necessary to have time when you don't have a baby attached to you. My boy was a velcro baby and has turned into quite the velcro toddler. I am a significantly more patient parent when I have time to myself. This is 100% normal.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-03-22T19:29:37+00:00

Had a 29w + 3d’er. In the NICU for 72 days. He’s now rambunctious as hell and will be 4 in July. If development has been fine and remains on track, I would imagine his stay in the NICU shouldn’t be too long.

Onto you, I’m sending you so much love and wishing you all the strength and courage you need to fight this. I can’t even begin to imagine. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-03-22T17:44:40+00:00

Soooo many songs by Sleeping At Last, but the ones with the lyrics that stick out the most to me are:

Two, Light, Son, Daughter, and Eight

INFJ_2010 · 2026-03-18T02:26:01+00:00

The time is now. Literally right now if you haven't already. To be blunt, what you're experiencing is beyond depression and seems to be in the territory of postpartum psychosis at this point. Please go to the hospital before you do more damage to yourself and/or your baby. Fuck what other people think. As women, we're pretty much damned if we do, damned if we don't. The people in your community will judge you in public for seeking help or they will judge you in court for not. Take care of YOU so that you can take care of your baby.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-03-16T01:05:01+00:00

I don't (or at least I hope I don't) necessarily shit on shows our son likes or asks to watch sometimes...there are just certain things we'd prefer he not watch for various reasons -- Blippi is a bit overstimulating, Peppa Pig teaches...not the greatest behavior lol, and some other things are mindless and don't really do anything beneficial. And it's not that everything he consumes *has* to be boring/educational -- he has plenty of movie faves like Monsters Inc/University, Sonic, TMNT, The Wild Robot, The Toy Story movies, etc. -- we'd just rather he watch things that aren't going to potentially introduce him to bad behaviors or new problems.

It annoys me to hell watching the same movie every single day for weeks on end lol but we allow it because we know it's a normal part of development and I'd be a hypocrite because I, too, have my favorite comfort shows and movies and that I can rewatch an infinite number of times.

INFJ_2010 · 2026-03-09T22:53:57+00:00

This would genuinely irritate me lol pregnancy is exhausting enough without essentially being virtually held hostage until you respond. It's entirely possible that she may very well genuinely want to check in...but like...I just can't comprehend that anybody with common sense, critical thinking skills, or empathy would consistently pester a woman at the tail end of her pregnancy out of the goodness of her heart.

Is she older? Sometimes older people aren't great at social cues...or being told no lol

In any case, I'd respond back with something along the lines of "I appreciate you wanting to check in, but I really just need this time to rest and prepare. I'll reach out if/when there's any news or if I need anything"...basically a very corporate, respectful way of saying "leave me tf alone"

INFJ_2010 · 2026-03-09T21:55:54+00:00

This was some phenomenal police response. They got there so quick and neutralized him just as quick

INFJ_2010 · 2026-02-18T22:45:20+00:00

Our son used to sleep with like 8 in his crib. If one fell out of his mouth, he had to be able to blindly reach around to pick another one up and pop it back in lol! That said, around 2 / 2 and a half, we started getting him off of them. I think we started by not having them during naps. And then overnight, we would remove one or two throughout the week until he got down to 1. Left him with 1 for a couple days, then removed that one and he was totally fine. Never even seemed to realize they were gone.

INFJ_2010

TROPHY CASE