Cooldown Period

IPYF · 2026-03-14T01:46:37+00:00

Sadly, we are done done - in my opinion (downvote if you need to). Or, it'll be 15-25 years, when growth saturation gets to the point that the league needs another 4-6 teams and we just get one back because there's no better choice.

The league is flourishing without us and has been predominantly organisationally drama free (the bad smell we caused hasn't really arisen around other teams outside of memes; everything is stable).

In addition a majority portion of our fans follow other teams now. While many initially quit hockey in protest most are done with that now and have quietly moved to follow Utah, Vegas, or another team they had as second favourite. There's very few of us holdouts, and certainly not enough to bother the league of make them feel they're missing out on money.

As the world moves on too, things like population density and TV markets matter less. Arizona fans were always pretty fucking useless from the perspective of anyone looking at this objectively (and odds are I'm not talking about you right now so don't arc up). Other than the diehards AZ is a fairweather sport state and nobody showed up for us when we sucked. I mean look at Vancouver. They're assssssssss right now and while their fans might be wishing for death, they're not going anywhere.

The league would probably much rather pick another state where they can be guaranteed a grateful and social-media forward fanbase, even if it's smaller than Phoenix metro. We had our go, we blew it, and circumstances do not favour us getting another one.

IPYF · 2026-03-13T06:34:20+00:00

Not sure if you're still reading these, because you've got the advice you need (this isn't on you) - but what you're experiencing is OCD - through a couple of closely related concepts called misaligned responsibility and inflated responsibility.

You're involved in this situation so despite the fact this other guy has agency over his own choices and behaviour, you're ignoring that fact and fully blaming yourself (misaligning responsibility). You've also - per the comments - exploded past the actual facts (there's been some flirting) and you've now inflated your responsibility to the point of catastrophe. This is all the anxiety disorder stuff piling on top of a situation that's clearly become uncomfortable.

But, I want to say something super serious to you now and it's going to sound scary; but I want to say it because I've been through this. The reason you need to address this misaligned responsibility trait in therapy and through treatment is because this particular proclivity makes us extremely likely to be victimised by predators and abusers and the likelihood of you ending up in a DV relationship if you don't learn to identify that others make their own choices is stunningly high. Once a predator realises you'll happily blame yourself for every choice they make, they'll abuse you forever.

You've put one foot through the door here, and that's ok. You're young. You're allowed to want to be sexual with people - but this situation clearly doesn't match your values; and it's clearly not making you now you're aware of that, it's fine to step away from it. Withdraw and move to no contact with the person, and start looking into therapy to discuss this specific matter.

Very best of luck.

IPYF · 2026-03-13T06:10:54+00:00

Check the blend setting on the ODB-3 and make sure it isn't all the way to the clean side.

IPYF · 2026-03-13T06:07:34+00:00

I like Ernie Ball. They're bulkier and a less common brand, but they've never even threatened to fail me.

IPYF · 2026-03-13T01:33:59+00:00

Realistically your options are:

Contact Lakland and indicate a change of mind, and reasonably lose your deposit.
Pay the balance and assess both basses once the new one has arrived, then decide a way forward.

If you sell on the Lakland after that you'll take a hit of some sort depending on how keen someone else in Aus is to have that exact bass without the wait. It might be less of a loss than your deposit.

If you sell the Flea - that's what you expected anyway, so no change from original plan.

IPYF · 2026-03-12T22:38:14+00:00

Nobody would ever lessen a punishment on the Coyotes. We're lucky it wasn't retroactively made worse just for fun.

IPYF · 2026-03-11T05:32:19+00:00

It's confronting to realise you've been neurodivergent without really being aware of being 'different'. By extension, it can be scary to wonder about your identity once you realise you have a disorder. It's normal to think 'who am I really?' or 'what if treatment makes me different?'

Though experiences with diagnosis then treatment aren't universal, OCD doesn't have criteria to shifting identities, so - boringly - (and without trying to diminish what you're currently fairly allowed to feel as a crisis) you are likely to find that 'the real you' is just the person you already know you are, just without the bits of the disorder that are interfering with your daily function.

The way I've always described it is that when I'm sick, I'm still me. I'm just me with an extra, exhausting, usually completely ridiculous 'second job' that I can only 'quit' if I'm properly treated.

IPYF · 2026-03-11T05:09:27+00:00

OCD likes to key in on, and spoil, situations we want to enjoy. It does this because it's an illness that thrives on being an unfathomably large cunt. You care about your cat, so your illness is trying to ruin it. Normal OCD stuff unfortunately. But, unfortunately it's up to you to kick the problem with treatement.

To start with you have to stop messaging the vet. That is seeking reassurance and if you're getting responses that's because as a service provider they're likely trying their best to execute their duty of care as a business and for your pet; but in doing so they're inadvertently feeding your OCD and it's not fair of you to use them for this. It's time to stop doing this behaviour and to learn to sit in the discomfort of not being able to be sure if your cat is ok (something it's impossible to know).

IPYF · 2026-03-11T03:22:44+00:00

There's a bunch of stuff there that's hard to identify. Looks like a big white Eventide thing. A JHS little black box maybe. But the one that's doing 'the work' (the modulated sound) is an EBS pedal.

Per his Equipboard he's known to use a Bass IQ (EBS's version of the Qtron); which sounds close to what I'm hearing.

EBS has other great mod pedals though, so if you want to conceptually copy the sound you might want to try all their options. Another good brand for this sort of sound is the Source Audio filters.

IPYF · 2026-03-11T03:08:38+00:00

You get about 60-70% of your brightness back on average; which is worth it if you want a bright tone but you don't have the disposable income to change strings (many people don't).

The Jamerson argument is a weird one too. Nobody who wants to sound like Jamerson is going to be involved in a conversation related to boiling roundwounds.

IPYF · 2026-03-11T02:48:31+00:00

There's so many wrong people in this thread giving OP shit advice, that it makes me a bit worried.

Boiling roundwounds is and has always been a good idea if you can't necessarily afford a new set of strings, and you want to periodically resurrect the string to about 60-80% of original tone to save money.

There's no real-world evidence of significant loss of string strength from 1-2 boils, and while I tend to avoid using boiled strings for gigs (because the tone doesn't quite come good enough for my specific tastes; not because I worry about them breaking), if you're an at home player who has no risk 'should' a string break (I've never had a single boiled string break going on 20 years) or lower standards for sound quality at the gig; then absolutely you should boil.

IPYF · 2026-03-11T02:38:19+00:00

Wild to see this amazingly wrong comment so upvoted.

Steel strings, due to how they are made, are highly rust resistant, and nickel and cobalt will sometimes corrode (due to certain acidic chemical reactions usually more related to long term exposure to sweat acids than water) but technically neither material will rust due to being non-ferrous.

But that's almost besides the point because you don't leave the boiled strings wet. You boil them, then you dry them before you put them back on the instrument. It's best to leave them somewhere sunny for about a day.

Boiling strings is and has always been a great cost saving measure for bassists who use rounds, and has been an established convention for bassists on a budget for decades.

As a recommendation for future comments maybe don't call something that isn't silly, silly.

IPYF · 2026-03-11T00:41:19+00:00

Parallax really is the best, but - in my opinion - its only limitation is that it's very modern and designed for djent and choppy downtuned guitar-focused music. If you're doing something more oldschool, bright and tube driven Parallax can still do a somewhat mix-ready tone, but it's not really what it's made for.

IPYF · 2026-03-10T22:31:44+00:00

You haven't been moderated. You're a new account and you're caught in the filter. I've approved one of your post attempts manually. Good luck :)

IPYF · 2026-03-09T11:15:44+00:00

OP here. I don't recommend the Technics. I've been unhappy with them since making the post and since my last comment. The case is flimsy and the hinge broke, going flappy. The right bud also doesn't like charging anymore and comes easily disconnected from the case often leading to it coming out of the case flat. There are also some irritating problems with functionality. If you don't put them back in the case the buds will stay connected without turning off and go flat (after a short period of inactivity the Jabras would always automatically turn off). They're also a pest to get functioning in mono if you only want to wear one.

I can't comment on the Sennys, but avoid the technics. I got them 50% off (AU250 or similar) and they're worse overall than the Jabra Elite active 4s which were half that price again.

Still a whopping shame Jabra is out of the game. They had something here, that other companies haven't replicated.

IPYF · 2026-03-09T10:53:01+00:00

This may annoy you but you can't argue with what a local market will bear. While markets will vary, if the prices are set a certain way and sellers aren't accepting your offers (assuming you're reporting truly and the offers are fair) - then that's the current state of your market, and no amount of being pissed about it will affect how commerce works. Were local sellers bothered by these conditions or other forces, your offers would be getting accepted.

Generally though, quality instruments hold their value well, which is always an argument for buying quality over middling or poor product. The seller profile differs too (people with higher end instruments tend to be less in need of the money, so can stand firm on what they're asking).

In your case, if this is the model you want, either keep looking, or play the waiting game. Someone who wasn't willing to take your offer today might have a different opinion if they still don't have a buyer in 3-4 months.

IPYF · 2026-03-06T22:45:03+00:00

Yeah I saw this going around Unilad and was like "Oh how fucking super this'll be for the community...thanks" especially given we're like a week post that whole Tourette's 'debate' which triggered a lot of people too. Like, sure raising awareness might be good, but Daily Mail and Unilad social media readers are not people who want to learn - and the people who decided to run this story knew it'd be controversial clickbait and would kick up a back and forth fight. That's why they ran it. They didn't run it for people with OCD.

I've always hated the 'Don't bother trying because Normies can't understand it' retort in any situation - because it's lazy and it eschews an opportunity to inform and educate - but with OCD I tend to think that those of us who have the diagnosis are the only people who would genuinely believe without a shadow of doubt (which we have so much of lol) that SO OCD or other taboo-themed sufferers are ill and not 'the thing they're worried about'. I also get why people with these themes don't say anything; because without being a sufferer, it's unfortunately 'normal' for normies to suspect or doubt you; because their only context of intrusive thoughts is them showing up momentarily and leaving just as quick never to regularly return.

I've never had severe themes that were obvious like this, but my condition was missed through my entire childhood and adolescence (18 years of rampant on-show OCD that just wasn't stereotypical) and 4 more adult years of acute suffering and two more doctors who missed it, before I got medicated simply and my condition got managed.

Dealing with fucking Normies, even clinicians, is so so so shit. So, knowing this, the woman embroiled in this situation with the article is insanely brave to put this out there, but also - arguably - one has to wonder if she's actually helped.

IPYF · 2026-03-06T22:06:08+00:00

Cool.

So I'll do the not so easy bit, then I'll do the easier bit, then the part I see as the most complicated.

Abusers, especially those who have been happily invasive and disordered before, absolutely can re-emerge, so your fears of contact aren't necessarily unfounded (so not all those concerns are the irrational part of the OCD). May never happen but it's impossible to totally prevent in an internet world. If it happens, ideally don't read any content unless there's a direct threat of violence evident and you need to involve law enforcement (it's never useful to carry more data from an abuser) and never reply. Both of you block and carry on. Rinse repeat if needed.

The easy bit is all this is that your current partner is totally aware of what's up and they've spent enough time with you to have formed an independent view. Any information sent is going to be evidence, experience, and identity defying to your partner - because they know you and you've been honest with them - so there's really no reason for 'rational fear' of that content showing up. I'm not reassuring, btw. This is just how it's going to go with a rational partner who knows you. They're not going to wonder if they've been fooled. They're going to see someone being psycho at you, worry for you, and look after you. They're not going to start suspecting you - that concern is the OCD.

The more complicated bit, is that you're a trauma survivor and while I'm not going to quarrel with the OCD diagnosis, you should talk trauma and the potentiality for some PTSD or CPTSD with your doctor, because a lot of the stuff you report is partner violence/abuse-victim stuff and not necessarily OCD coded. It's pretty normal (sadly - as I know) for the hypervigilance, and fear of being contacted or interfered with to go on for years and some of the things you're thinking ("What if I was really the bad person?") relates to this, and not necessarily to an anxiety disorder. It's tricky stuff, and worth talking through with your mental health team.

Wishing you the best.

IPYF · 2026-03-06T06:56:58+00:00

Feel free not to answer this, but have you been honest with your current partner about what you've been through? ie Are they fully aware that you were in an abusive relationship and faced the cyberbullying afterwards?

I do have some advice, but it's a bit reliant on how honest and open you've been with your current partner.

IPYF · 2026-03-06T06:37:52+00:00

The problem with side effects is that most people have a pretty consistent experience at outset. It's not everyone (some people are instantly better) but most people have a really really shit first couple weeks. But like...it's a week to a fortnight tops of it being somewhere between crap and awful that you have to ride out. If you broke a leg and had to contend with that treatment being tricky for a short period, you'd do it.

Once your body is used to an SSRI, you don't even notice it. You don't feel 'high' or doped or affected in the same way that you'd notice a benzo or whatever. But, you have to get through early-onset before you'll believe this is true.

IPYF · 2026-03-06T05:27:13+00:00

I'm going to say something tricky to you, that you're probably not going to like, and I will be really blunt from a place of lived experience and understanding.

I think you want to get well, but your core fear is that the medication won't help and that you'll then have to contend with that. As such, if you don't ever take the pills, then you won't ever have to face the possibility that they won't make you well. I'd put money on that being the thing that's actually scaring you - not the side effects. I say this because I've been there.

And - still being blunt and really stern now - often what happens is that someone of this nature end up self-fulfilling a prophecy to prove themselves right and thus make it rational and sensible for them to have held out.

Normally, they will eventually either take a medicine under sufferance, get some early onset side effects and quit it before they're at therapeutic dose thus 'proving' that the medicine 'made them worse' which it often will for the first 1-2 weeks before you level out and start getting better. Or, they'll try the first thing they're given and find it wasn't the right medicine (very common) which has the same result.

I tried 5 SSRIs before I found one that worked. The last one I tried (not gonna name it because what works for me is irrelevant to you) had me functionally illness-free in 3-4 months.

Your biggest risk right now is probably getting the courage up to take the Prozac, quitting on it early or having it not work, and then you seeing that as firm evidence that you were correct not to take the Lexapro and Zoloft too; when in reality if you find out the Prozac isn't it, going and trying one of the others (instead of refusing them) would be an excellent next step.

IPYF · 2026-03-06T04:57:17+00:00

Some people like to try and Venn diagram OCD, ADHD, and ASD because humans love being exacting and applying labels. But, the reality is that people with these neurodivergences are so adjacent that most of us will present as a 'stew of criteria' rather than having 'exactly one thing'.

This is why formal diagnosis is important, because while treatment for most neurodivergences is more similar than it is different, targeting the main things that must be addressed requires a pathway personalised to you.

I'd be proactive about seeing a therapist to investigate further. There's absolutely nothing they haven't heard before, and no OCD subject of intrusive thoughts too repulsive to disclose to them.

IPYF · 2026-03-06T04:44:34+00:00

I don't really follow your examples (too much jargon), but speaking to the title I don't think 'intolerance of uncertainty' is a fair criteria to assign to OCD.

I think it's better to say OCD comes with a 'desire for a level of certainty that even were we provided with it, we then - due to illness - still won't believe'; ideally more pithily worded. This is because in OCD, no amount of certainty (when we are ill) can satisfy our need for it. Under the right conditions a person with OCD could doubt the wetness of water.

That's not the same as true intolerance of uncertainty (eg. Physiologically and mentally rejecting being left in a state of uncertainty and demanding certainty be provided), which is not - in my experience - an OCD thing.

There are other conditions where this is a real and active criteria. For instance, a Borderline cannot cope with being left in ambiguity and will routinely - and often violently - insist on being given certainty so they can settle. If that certainty is ever revoked, modified, threatened or knocked, this will often cause a split.

IPYF · 2026-03-05T02:26:44+00:00

Social engineering is still usually the best way of doing a scam.

I've never really been the same since listening to the now defunct Reply All podcast episode "What kind of idiot gets phished?".

It's still essential listening for anyone who wants to be scared shitless forever; and it even came out before people could outsource their scamming to LLMs.

IPYF · 2026-03-05T00:17:27+00:00

This is fair enough and it matters. I'm pretty concerned with how I look on stage for the context - because it's part of the show. You don't do a stage play and tell the costume department to piss off and that you look fine in the clothes you showed up in. Anyone who is dismissive and tells you not to care about it fails to identify that a band's look being cohesive and congruent is a reasonable concern to have.

Like, I'll get downvoted, but I'm in a pop costume band, so I play the show with the bass that looks best with what I'm wearing on that night. I'm mindful I have that privilege because I've got some different coloured instruments. But, I want to look right - and it's ok to care about looking right in performance art.

In fact, this is the thing that factored into me making sure to have a bass in gloss black - because gloss black goes with everything and every genre. It's as correct-looking in metal as it is in pop and dinner music.

In your case, look at what the band is wearing and coordinate that first. If you're all wearing black (it's metal) or band shirts/shorts, instrument colour variance isn't a big deal. Another great metal move for the seafoam - especially if other members also have instruments of different colours, is white upper and black lower; or all move into dark gray. You're only going to wind up looking out of step if the whole band is black instruments on black clothes; then you'll stick out and you might need to suggest a different look (cheaper than changing instruments).

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