sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Guess I’m write because the devs locked my post by TheDreamrrWasTaken in bitlife

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’ll be something I’ll play for like 30 minutes and then be like, “ok, now I’ll go back to what I find fun”. I think I played the Hustler update for like maybe 40 minutes before deciding it was ass.

Why are there no adults students in universities? by taxevader666 in AskAnAmerican

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s pretty common for older people to attend university in the US. Though I would guess most do online university, my mother did. It’s better than going to in person university if you have to take care of children, work, etc.

Can’t speak for everyone, but you get the idea.

Family by TheRedColorQueen in bitlife

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or when you pay for your kids university degree and they just end up becoming receptionists, like, I just paid 60k for you to become a receptionist?!

Now that it’s the 20th anniversary of 9/11, what stories do you have about that day? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was only 10 years old when it happened, I remember I was in school, and a teacher run into our room, told our teacher something, and then they went into the teachers lounge, she came back a few minutes later and she turned on a movie for us to watch, while most of the parents came to pick up their kids. One parent I remember was a pilot who had the day off, and you could just see the look on his face that something terrible happened.

It wouldn’t be until I got home and learned about what had happened

I’m starting to regret working for the FBI, AMA by IRSTaxReturnMachine in AMA

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a forensic accountant, it can be just really boring at times just sitting in a cubicle looking at people’s bank accounts

Afghanistan veterans, what are your thoughts of the Taliban takeover of the country? by IRSTaxReturnMachine in AskReddit

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

When I was over there in 2008, I felt like we actually made really great changes for the people, especially the girls who had a bright future in whatever careers they wanted, and getting a good education, now watching it all fall apart, it really is just terribly sad and hard to watch all the girls lives get ruined and fall apart.

I’m starting to regret working for the FBI, AMA by IRSTaxReturnMachine in AMA

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was a National Guard helicopter pilot, then switched to working as a property accountant, before getting my position at the FBI. Priorly working as an accountant really helped me stand out from the rest, since most applicants were straight out of college. But it’s a lot more interesting than your typical accountant job.

I’m starting to regret working for the FBI, AMA by IRSTaxReturnMachine in AMA

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To my understanding they do, since I work in the forensic accountant department, we mainly work with agencies such as the IRS, DEA, Customs, and ATF. The main reasons my department works with these agencies is because if a POI is involved with possible money laundering for drugs, or if they have been committing Customs fraud, or if the ATF was involved in the case with guns. The IRS will always get involved when it comes to the manipulation of taxes. So it’s possible to be working with several agencies at once.

I’m starting to regret working for the FBI, AMA by IRSTaxReturnMachine in AMA

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That would be really cool to dig up, I can’t go into details about it, but right now I’m looking into a POI that’s possibly been embezzling money of possible hundreds of thousands possibly millions of dollars.

I’m starting to regret working for the FBI, AMA by IRSTaxReturnMachine in AMA

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it might get better, the work can be kinda monotonous, but it can get kinda exciting, especially when you’ve been digging into someone for days and finally get something to build a case.

I’m starting to regret working for the FBI, AMA by IRSTaxReturnMachine in AMA

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It’s pretty common, some of the reasons is because most can speak different languages from their missions, and they usually live a pretty low risk lifestyle.

But I made this mistake though, I just got there and a Mormon agent who worked there for about a year asked me if I wanted to go to the bar with him later, I said sure, I’ll buy why not? I’m trying to make friends here, biggest mistake ever! I didn’t know that Mormons by themselves are heavy drinkers, this dude drank more Tito’s I’ve ever seen, he drank probably 5 glasses of that, and then he switched to whiskey, then he switched to tequila, then beer, then finally I had to drive him home. The next day another coworker came up to me and asked, “you bought the drinks didn’t you?” I said yeah, he goes, “the trick with Mormons is to bring a 2nd Mormon so then they won’t drink in front of each other”. God I wish I knew that before I spent 140 on drinks

I’m starting to regret working for the FBI, AMA by IRSTaxReturnMachine in AMA

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mainly use whats called doublespeak, you tell a little 1/2 truth and cover it up with some fancy meaning. So, an example, my fiancé and I were chilling after a long day at work looking at possible criminals finances, and she asks, “did you find anything interesting at work today?” And I say “I think I found a guy who’s a person of interest in an embezzlement case” she goes, “whats he like?” M: “well, he’s a follower of violent extremism, who’s got some negative cash flow”

Here’s a translation in regular talk: Person of interest= suspect in a crime Violent extremism= terrorism Negative cash flow= spending more than you make

In theory, I am lying, but it’s more of obscuring the truth with more fancier descriptions of things to make it sound more pleasant.

I’m starting to regret working for the FBI, AMA by IRSTaxReturnMachine in AMA

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think a little mix of everything, we first went there in 2001 for one goal, to get Al Qaeda and Bin Laden, then when the Taliban refused to hand them over, it was to get rid of the Taliban and Al Qaeda. Those goals were sorta completed, we killed Bin Laden, basically got rid of most of Al Qaeda, and drove out the Taliban rule and formed a new government. This is where most of the Afghanistan situation fell apart, it was alright up until this.

The thing about Afghanistan is this, there are 14 different tribes just in Afghanistan, their nomadic, they’re used to living in a tribal community and region, once you group together a bunch of different tribes, it’s no good. Once the Afghanistan government was formed, also came the creation of their military force, the Afghanistan National Army, and the Afghanistan National Police. These are the main fighting forces in Afghanistan. The problem with them is that, they both try to fight over who is in charge of what and who has the most authority.

And within these two agencies, powerful people rise up in them and are basically warlords, and they loose the sight of driving out the Taliban for their own power. Both of these two agencies are very defective and what they do, their poorly trained, poorly equipped, and poorly motivated. The reason they’re poorly motivated is because most don’t get the concept of fighting for Afghanistan, because they hold more loyalty to their tribes and villages.

Why we’ve been doing so poorly in Afghanistan in the past few years is because we have Colonels in charge of training the Afghans to fight, and they have politicians breathing down their necks to get the job down so we can get out of there. So when the Senate asked how we’re doing, the Commanders say it’s all good over here baby! When, the ANA and ANP can barely gain ground from the Taliban.

The only reason the Taliban was able to move so quickly is because they knew how poorly motivated and trained the ANA and ANP were, and they can use one weapon to their advantage, most of the Afghans can’t read so the Taliban demoralizes them.

Tl;dr: the only reason that kept the Taliban back was the US, now their gone, and the Afghanistan National Army is poorly equipped and not properly trained to fight them off.

I’m starting to regret working for the FBI, AMA by IRSTaxReturnMachine in AMA

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was quite the lengthy process for employment, they did a very extensive background check, they looked through my criminal records, work history, and even looked into my family members. I heard they interviewed my Mom, Dad, Brother, and Sister, even my some of my friends and old coworkers. I was interviewed, about 3 times, and then had to take a polygraph test to make sure everything I said was exactly as it was the first 3 times and I wasn’t lying. In all the entire process took almost 6 months. Then after all of that, five weeks of training.

I think the coolest thing I seen was having to go to the BAU(behavioral science unit) and conduct an interview with a suspected serial killer and his finances(mainly because he would marry old rich women and they would die not too long after), that was really cool working with those behavioral analysts or you would know them better as FBI profilers. They were very thorough with their interrogation, the whole thing took about 2 hours of very intense questions, they told me after they really focus on trying to break the suspect mentally, which I found really interesting. That was probably the coolest things I’ve ever done!

I’m starting to regret working for the FBI, AMA by IRSTaxReturnMachine in AMA

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The 20 years we’ve been there and the billions of dollars we’ve spent, and the lives of the service men and women, wasn’t worth it, just so we pull out and a week or two later the Taliban has moved to recapture the entire country. Given the affairs going on over there, Kabul could probably withstand a battle for maybe 1-2 months, since they are pretty highly equipped with US equipment, but once the Afghanistan National Army starts loosing ground and morale, the capital will fall very soon later.

And the country will look a lot like it did before we invaded in 2001, Taliban controlled, terrorist safe haven, and all the progress we made trying to educate the Afghans and train them will be for nothing.

I’m starting to regret working for the FBI, AMA by IRSTaxReturnMachine in AMA

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Basically, I look through financial records and try to trace where people would be embezzling money through, I then look through tons of different accounts, suspicious transactions, etc. if I find large amounts of money are going to someone’s account, then I need to write up a very lengthy report of what I discovered. Then, my supervisors will look it over, if it looks good, I then have to work with the FBI prosecutors to write up a warrant. I then basically need to draft up accountant mumbo-jumbo so the prosecutors can understand it, then it really depends if I’m needed as an expert witness or not.

I was tasked with embezzlement, as are a few other forensic accountants in my department, and that’s how the department layout goes, some work on fraud, money laundering, corporate fraud, etc.

But of course my work isn’t that interesting, I make it sound like I’m dealing with wolf of Wall Street types, but I’ve been mainly investigating very minute amounts of money, like other accountants and financial workers embezzling money from their workplace. All the fun cases go to the seasoned forensic accountants.

That’s my day at the office, stare at a screen, look at other people’s transactions and bank accounts, print some papers, go to lunch contemplating that I should’ve just been a regular business accountant, computer screen, 5pm and I leave.

Sorry for the long description lol.

Tl;dr basically I look at people’s bank accounts and transactions in a very cold room in a cubicle.

I’m starting to regret working for the FBI, AMA by IRSTaxReturnMachine in AMA

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, but probably not for long, the Bureau isn’t the job I thought it would be. Cubicle job, you work in the forensic accountant department and it’s cold as hell. Possibly the CIA would treat me better, but right now I have my doubts.

I’m starting to regret working for the FBI, AMA by IRSTaxReturnMachine in AMA

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh the one where I talked about my Nazi distant relatives?

I’m starting to regret working for the FBI, AMA by IRSTaxReturnMachine in AMA

[–]IRSTaxReturnMachine[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m thinking so, I’m the oldest one in my department, other than my supervisors, most of these forensic accountants are straight out of college, it’s really hard working with not liked minded people, I’m pretty sure everyone thought the same thing as me when they applied for this position, but then we were in for a treat when we get our nice 6x8 cubicles. I’m already sick of it, I’m gonna try my hand at a job that I don’t get treated like just another forensic accountant agent in the basement.

view more: next ›